Hands Clean
by LucretiaDecoy
Summary: Botan has fallen in love with Yusuke, but he is still in love with Keiko, who has long since left him. Botan is reunited with Hiei, whose situation is oddly similar to hers, and they soon start doing something awful together. Hiei/Botan Sickfic.
1. The Greatest Love

**A/N:** I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters herein, they are all the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

Gah, another new fic, and it's another Hiei/Botan romp – in every sense of the word! I'm mostly writing this fic for a friend, and didn't know about posting it here, but decided to anyway. That said, this is a very unconventional fic, so:

**Contains:** Mild bad language, mild violence, and an absolutely shockingly amount of smut  
**Themes:** Romance (but my definition of that word, so no candlelit dinners and walks in the moonlight), and Hurt/Comfort (and again, a strange definition of that theme, because it's not a sad hurt/comfort, it's more… Comedic/sick…)

**Potentially anti-Yusuke/Keiko, and possibly offensive to fans of Yusuke/Botan and Hiei/Mukuro pairings.  
I promise that this is a take on the Hiei/Botan pairing that's different from the norm.**

**Set 30 (yes, thirty) years after the end of the series.**

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**Chapter 1: The Greatest Love**

Botan smiled cheerfully at Yusuke, but he did not return her gesture. His head was tilted down and his eyes were unfocussed. He looked a little unusual, and Botan had to wonder just how much effort he had put into disguising himself. After his Mazoku side had been awoken, Yusuke had slowly mutated into the long, silver-haired demon he had been the first time he had transformed, complete with a variety of blue markings over his skin. The transformation was permanent, and Yusuke had long since accepted it. Usually, it never bothered him that he no longer looked especially human.

But it was bothering him now.

"Go in there," he muttered, tugging at his suit jacket.

He hated the outfit he was wearing. He had not said as much, but Botan knew that he did. He had made it obvious by the way he kept scratching at himself and rearranging the cuffs and hems. Finding a suit for him had been difficult. It was a big, important day and Botan had literally dragged him to a good tailor to ensure that he had a quality suit that would fit perfectly: and the result was a traditionally cut black suit, made slightly more modern by the top quality, dull silk it was made of, an ivory, embroidered waistcoat, ivory silk shirt and tie and stylish matte black dress shoes. The clothes fitted Yusuke as perfectly as a tailor-made outfit would, but he seemed to be pretending that he was suddenly unhappy with his choice of clothing as he continued to fiddle with the cuffs. His erratic silver hair had been combed flat and tied into a low ponytail at the back of his head – Botan had learned this was the best way to handle his Mazoku hair, which had a tendency to suddenly burst out of his head if it was cut short or gelled down. But he had done nothing to disguise the blue markings visible on his face.

"Did you hear me?"

Botan started as he turned his head and glared at her almost angrily.

"Um… No…" she said quietly. "Wh-what?"

"Go in there, Botan!" he said sharply. "Find out what's… See if she's… I can't go in there, to a woman's dressing room, but you… Just get in there, Botan!"

"Right, of course!"

Botan scrambled to her feet, gathering up her ceremonial kimono by her thighs, lifting the material until she could clearly see her feet and knew that she would not accidentally step on the gown. She then hurriedly made her way out of the small play-park she had been sat in with Yusuke, quickly checking the road for traffic and then hurrying across to the house at the other side.

The house at the other side was, of course, the Yukimura family home. There was bunting strung up around the roof edges and at the windows announcing that the family were celebrating a wedding that day, and as she approached the front door Botan felt her smile widen – she was becoming caught up in the excitement of the day herself.

"Knock, knock!" she said, knocking on the door. "Hello! It's Botan! Can I come in?"

Botan waited patiently for someone to answer the door, looking back over her shoulder to check on Yusuke: the bride did not want him to see her, which had made the morning so far a little awkward for Botan, who had been left playing go-between. Yusuke was still sat on the bench where she had left him, his head in his hands. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Botan smiled sympathetically. She had been at Yusuke's side for several years, and in that time she had grown very fond of him, and she had come to feel the highs and lows of his life very keenly, and she knew that this was going to be a very stressful day for him.

She turned back to the door as she heard it opening and beamed brilliantly as a woman in her early twenties in a bridesmaids dress appeared before her, drawing on a cigarette as she eyed her over.

"Botan," she said through a mouthful of smoke.

"Hello!" Botan brightly replied. "Isn't this exciting?"

"…Whatever."

Botan opened her mouth to say more, but the girl stepped past her and touched a finger to a small device hooked into her ear.

"Yo, what's up?" she said.

Botan was momentarily confused, but then she remembered that the little device in the girl's ear was what humans in the living world used to communicate with. Human technology changed so quickly, Botan often felt left behind when she did not take the time to study it – which she often did forget to do, preferring to spend any spare time she had flying on her oar or with Yusuke in demon world.

"I'll just… Let myself in then…" she said, pointing into the house.

The girl shook her head and rolled her eyes and Botan smiled tightly back at her. She continued on into the house, and she shortly heard raised voices shouting out orders, and one crying almost hysterically about a lost lipstick. When she reached the source of the voices, she found herself looking into a room that was the picture of pandemonium: there were women and clothes everything, and everyone was talking at once and none of them were listening.

At the back of the room, Keiko was standing by the fireplace, one arm resting on the mantelpiece, her head tilted downwards and her eyes on the hearth. She looked even more miserable than Yusuke, Botan thought. Botan quickly ducked and dodged her way across the room, giving Keiko's arm a small squeeze to catch her attention. She looked up and Botan waved at her and smiled cheerfully, and for a long and horrible moment, Botan thought that Keiko had somehow forgotten her, as she stared blankly at her, no sense of recognition or cheer in her features.

"What are you doing here?" she eventually said.

Botan gulped awkwardly.

"Well, um… I was invited?" she replied.

"Oh, no, I mean…" Keiko began, waving a hand. "Oh, sorry Botan, I'm so… It's just been a hectic few months in the lead up to this one day, and now that it's here, it's just chaos!"

"You look lovely!" Botan said encouragingly.

"Oh thanks," Keiko said, forcing a smile. "You look…"

Her eyes wandered up to the cascade of baby blue hair spilling down from one side of Botan's head.

"Uh… Where-where's Yusuke?" she asked, lowering her eyes to Botan's.

"He's outside," Botan replied.

Keiko's eyes grew wide and Botan gasped as she realised her blunder.

"Oh, no, not right outside, of course!" she hurriedly corrected herself. "He's just… Close by."

"Oh, good," Keiko said, nodding. "He's definitely gonna show, right?"

"Of course he is!" Botan immediately replied.

"Well, you know, probably not everybody wants him there today…"

Botan's smile started to fade as Keiko looked away from her, pretending to be interested in the painting hung over the fireplace.

"Oh…" Botan said, her eyes lowering to the ground. "I see… That's… Very unfortunate…"

"I'm sure you understand, Botan," Keiko said. "It's been a long time, I know, but I'm not sure she's ready to see him again yet. And we both know that the last time they were in a room together, things got a little… Hostile…"

Botan nodded her agreement, even though it was a wasted gesture, as Keiko was still not looking her way.

"Should I tell him not to go to the…?" Botan began, watching Keiko expectantly.

"That would be best, yes," Keiko said stiffly, looking her in the eye again, her face suddenly stern. "It was good to see you again Botan, but I have to go. I have a wedding to get to."

Botan nodded and started to carefully pick her way out of the room again as Keiko began calling the others into order. Botan watched her as she went, an increasing sadness consuming her soul as she thought about how this ought to be Yusuke's day, this ought to be the day he walked up the aisle. The day – as long as she had known about it – still felt surreal to Botan. She could scarcely believe it when she and Yusuke received invites from Keiko to the wedding, and she would never forget the look on Yusuke's face when he had read the contents of his invite. She thought that she could almost pinpoint the exact moment, as he was reading it, that his heart broke.

Yusuke was still hurting from the news of the wedding, and Botan was surprised and impressed that he had agreed to go, and disappointed now to learn that Keiko's invite had been the bluff Kuwabara had warned them that it might be. She doubted it would take much convincing to get Yusuke not to go, but she still dreaded breaking the news to him and seeing him saddened all over again, especially after he had gone to such great lengths to look as human and presentable as possible for the big day.

And yet, a part of her was happy.

Botan hated herself for it. As she left the Yukimura household and started across the street she tried to block the thought out, tried not to think about it. She tried to suppress it the same way she had been suppressing it for so many years. But suppressing the feeling was all Botan was ever able to do, because she could not deny it. Especially not when it grew stronger and stronger every day. It had always been her dark little secret, something she had been so proud of herself for being able to hide and ignore during her early days with Yusuke: but, after Yusuke had realised his demon side and the pressures of trying to live a double life had become too much and Keiko had finally made the difficult and heart-wrenching decision to move on and marry someone else, Botan had not been able to ignore it any more.

She was in love with Yusuke. She always had been, and she was certain that she always would be.

Botan had always known how happy Keiko made Yusuke, and she would never have done anything to stand between them, simply consoling herself that Yusuke was happy with Keiko and that was good enough for her. But when Keiko had, after many months of crying and trying, decided to end things with Yusuke, Botan had suddenly started to see a glimmer of hope. The main reasons Keiko had left Yusuke had been because of his extended demon lifespan and his need to be in demon world – a place she could not go with him because of the limitations of her human body – and neither of those things were a problem for Botan, who, as a ferry girl, would out-live Yusuke and, with her heightened spirit energy, she could and did visit demon world as often as she liked.

But, even though Keiko had moved on as best she could – she said that a part of her would always love Yusuke – Yusuke was still madly in love with Keiko and still raw from her leaving him, even though it had been years since that fateful day. And as long as Yusuke was still in love with Keiko, Botan's dreams of being with Yusuke were just that: dreams. Dreams that could never be realised. It left Botan with a mixture of joy and despair to see the loving way Yusuke still watched Keiko when they visited the living world and he insisted on spying on her. He had so much love in his heart, but it was all directed towards Keiko, and although Botan admired and was touched by his loyalty, she was also distraught by it, because it seemed unending, and as long as he was so devoted to Keiko, he would never love anyone else, not even Botan.

Botan had loyally been at Yusuke's side through everything from the day he had been killed by the car, but sometimes she felt like he thought of her as just a buddy, like Kuwabara or Kurama, or else as a pest from spirit world like Koenma or George, or even just as an accessory, a tool for getting information and flying him to places that he needed to be. Yusuke was still in love with Keiko, and it was beautiful and touching, but Botan was in love with Yusuke, and her love felt painful at times, because she could never tell anyone about it or express it freely. She spent almost every day with Yusuke, and they often scrapped physically – strictly in a light-hearted sense – and he had taken to putting his arms around her when she flew him somewhere on her oar (which had led to her always flying above the clouds so that she could take a longer route without him noticing and prolong the moment) and he often fell asleep in her arms.

But she might as well be invisible to him, she thought miserably as she approached him still sat on the bench. This maybe was a special day, but for Botan it was about the same as any other: she was breaking her heart over Yusuke and he was breaking his heart over Keiko.

"Well?" he asked, lifting his head to look at her.

Botan paused for long enough to note that he looked at her quite plainly, as though she was nothing special. He was not being cold or cruel: she had gone to great lengths to hide her true feelings from him, so why should he act any differently when he did not know the truth?

"I spoke to Keiko," she said quietly.

"She doesn't want me there," Yusuke said, hanging his head again.

Botan carefully sat down at his side once more, eying him over as he sighed heavily. He looked gorgeous in his perfectly-fitted suit and with his hair swept back, and, although he was hiding his face from her, she knew that he was in pain, and that pained her.

"Oh Yusuke, I'm so sorry," she said gently, touching a hand to his shoulder.

"I knew this would happen," he muttered. "I don't know why I bothered with this stupid suit…"

He sat upright and grabbed at the lapels of his suit jacket, a glint of something bitter flashing across his eyes.

"Yusuke, no!" Botan cried, grabbing his wrists desperately. "Don't tear it!"

"Why not?" he asked, shifting his eyes to her. "What's the point? You know better than anyone that I've been getting less and less human with every month that passes, so why am I even trying to dress like a human when I'm clearly not one any more?"

"Yusuke, don't be silly!" she pleaded.

"I'm a monster," he said quietly. "That's what she called me the last time she saw me. You were there, Botan, you saw the way she looked at me and the way she spoke to me… Do you remember the first time she ever saw me? She cried!"

"Yusuke, she was just a baby back then. She cried when she saw Kuwabara too!"

"She didn't cry when she saw Kurama – shit, even Kurama's more human than I am!"

Yusuke stood up and stamped a foot in frustration. Botan gently stood up at his side and touched a hand to his shoulder again. He turned to look at her, searching her eyes as though looking for an answer to something he thought might fix all of his problems. He then drew in a deep breath and as he sighed the air out he lunged at Botan, grabbing his arms around her. She gladly put her arms around him and cuddled into him, closing her eyes and pressing her cheek against his. He had become increasingly physical with her over the years and more and more comfortable hugging her, and she always enjoyed it every time that he did. She knew that she ought to be focusing on counselling him through the difficult day ahead of him, but instead she spent that moment pretending – as she too often did when he embraced her – that he loved her just as much as she loved him, and that they were going to live happily ever after together.

Botan's devotion to Yusuke was everlasting. He had lost one love, but he had another one right in front of him, a committed, eternal one: but he would never know it.

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Botan stepped under the arched garland of pure white flowers and smiled. She clasped her hands together and gazed out across the empty seats facing the small, raised dais she was standing on. The chairs, the flowers, the platform and the ribbons tied in bows to everything around them were all pristine and white. Botan started to imagine what it would be like to stand there with Yusuke, in that perfect suit he was wearing, to marry him in a ceremony of flowers and friends. She sighed.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to move, Miss."

Botan turned to find a man suddenly standing at her side frowning at her sternly. He looked familiar, and yet not. He was dressed very smartly, though not quite so extravagantly as Yusuke or Botan was, so she had to assume that he was a minor guest from the wedding, still at the scene of the ceremony and not yet moved on to the after-party the rest of the guests had gone to some time before.

"Are you going to disappoint me again?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.

She felt her face twist involuntarily. He sounded familiar, and yet not.

"Botan?" he said.

"How did you know…?" she whispered faintly.

"Well, the blue hair, the pink eyes and the rather… Colourful kimono were somewhat of a giveaway," he replied, smiling warmly.

He was quite a strange man, Botan thought to herself. He held himself like a young man, but he was showing signs of aging, faint lines beating a path to the corners of his features and curling around the edges of his mouth and undersides of his eyes. His short but messy hair was grey, but small hints of colour at the back of his neck suggested that it had once been a vibrant shade of red.

"Botan, it's only been a few years," he said. "I may be a little greyer than before, but surely you still recognise my face?"

"Kurama!" Botan yelped, realisation finally striking her as she looked into his brilliant green eyes.

He smiled and gave a single, polite nod of his head.

"But what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I could ask the same of you, Botan!" he replied, his smile widening slightly. "The party has long since moved on. I'm here to remove the demon flowers before anyone takes them and… Well I should really get on with removing them…"

"Oh I did wonder why they were so pure white and beautiful!" Botan gushed. "It's amazing that something like that could grow in demon world, isn't it?"

Kurama wrapped a hand around one strut of the garland and the flowers around it began slowly closing into buds and then receding back into a single stalk that was gradually shrinking to the point Kurama was holding.

"Where's Yusuke?" he asked. "I didn't see him at the ceremony."

"No, Hitomi still isn't speaking to him," Botan explained. "Keiko did invite us, but I think she… I don't know what to think…"

"It was a lovely ceremony," Kurama replied. "But a rather startling reminder of just how much time has passed since our time together as the spirit detective team."

"It's certainly been a long time since we solved a case together," Botan agreed.

"Thirty years."

Botan stiffened.

"What?" she asked.

"It's been thirty years since Yusuke defeated Sensui," he replied. "Well, almost thirty-one years now."

"Goodness, has it really been that long?"

"It's a long time to harbour an unrequited love."

Botan nodded.

"Poor Yusuke," she said. "He does still love Keiko. Here we are, all these years later, at Keiko's oldest daughter's wedding, but still Yusuke can't accept that he's lost her. I think he felt he should have been the one giving Hitomi away today."

"Yusuke is not Hitomi's father, Botan," Kurama pointed out.

"That's not what I meant," Botan said, shaking her head. "I meant that Yusuke should have married Keiko and been the father of her children and he should have been the father of the bride today, the day Keiko's daughter was getting married."

Kurama stepped away from the archway and opened out his fist to reveal a single seed.

"Should he have?" he asked, fixing Botan with an almost accusing glare.

"I-I don't know what you mean!" Botan said hurriedly. "I mean, of course Yusuke should have married Keiko and… What are you implying?"

Kurama smiled gently.

"Like I already told you, thirty years is a long time to harbour an unrequited love," he said.

Botan felt her face drop. Typical that Kurama should have seen through her, she thought darkly. Her only consolation was that Hiei was not there to read her mind and confirm his accusations.

Hiei had been such a moody and haughty little bastard, she thought darkly, always intruding on her thoughts at the most inopportune of moments and saying nasty, hurtful things unnecessarily. She had not seen him since watching him lose to Mukuro at the first demon world tournament many years ago, and, until that moment, she had never thought about him even once. He never really had been a part of their group – only ever begrudgingly and because he wanted to be free of his sentence from spirit world for his various crimes.

If the changes in the others were any indication, Hiei had probably changed too. He was probably a full black dragon. He probably lived in a cave high in a mountainside somewhere, gathering treasures and blowing fire at anyone who came close.

Botan wondered if that really was what had become of him, but she shortly realised that she did not actually care: he had always been especially rude to and dismissive of her.

"And I agree," she said, trying to sound casual. "Poor Yusuke, still loving Keiko despite the fact that she has long since moved on, married and had a family of her own."

Botan could tell that Kurama was not in the least bit convinced by her act and she wondered why he even cared. He had never had a romantic relationship as long as she had known him, so what did he care if she was in love with Yusuke?

"Kurama!"

Botan quietly and subtly sighed in relief at the sound of another familiar voice. She spun around to see a large suited figure starting towards them, unable to stop herself from making two consecutive and inappropriate noises – first one of shock and then one of confusion.

Time had not been nearly as kind to Kuwabara as it had to Kurama – presumably because of Kurama's demon soul. Kuwabara looked like a grandfather figure, the top of his head bald and the hair he had left wiry and grey. He was dressed in a slightly obnoxious white suit, though Botan understood that it was the fashion of the time. It unfortunately did not flatter his slightly bloated gut, something he had been acquiring the last time she had met with him, and he had blamed that on his appetite not lessening but his physical activity being reduced over time. She had then pointed out to him that Genkai had fought in the Dark Tournament when she had been twenty years older than he was now, but he had brushed her off with excuses about times of peace and his trusting Yusuke and Kurama to take care of any future battles.

And as Kuwabara had been her shock, the person clinging to his arm had been her confusion. Inexplicably, despite being a bald, overweight old man in a mildly hideous suit, Kuwabara had a stunningly gorgeous young woman at his side, her arm looped through his. She was almost as tall as Kuwabara himself, and dressed in a long, plain yet stylish sleeveless black dress, her face mostly hidden behind an over-sized pair of bug-eyed dark glasses and her long, loose black hair which fell over one side of her face. But the shape of her figure, the tautness of her bare arms and the perfectly flawless skin on her face clearly showed that she was very young, easily less than half Kuwabara's age: was she his daughter? And if so, why had Botan never met her before?

"Hey, Botan, you made it!" Kuwabara said as he and his partner joined Botan and Kurama on the stage.

"Yes," she replied, bowing a greeting to them.

"Where's Urameshi?" he asked, looking slightly confused. "Usually you guys are always together…"

Botan glanced at Kurama, who tried to hide the knowing smile he had been wearing, but failing to do so before Botan caught a glimpse of it.

"Oh dear, was it all too much for him today?"

Botan turned to the girl, as she had asked the question, and sounded genuinely concerned as she did so.

"Um…" Botan began, still trying to figure out just who the girl was. "Yes, I think so…"

"It was awful," the girl said sadly. "That fight Yusuke and Hitomi had… I cried when Hitomi called Yusuke a monster and told him to never come near her family again!"

"Me too…" Botan flatly replied.

She squinted slightly at the girl, but still gained no clue as to who she was.

"I could cry thinking about it right now," the girl whispered.

She reached up a hand and slowly pulled off her dark glasses, revealing a face that was unmistakable, but did not match the hair or body that came with it.

"Yukina?" Botan asked.

Red eyes lifted up to hers and a gentle smile appeared beneath them.

"It's been such a long time, Botan," she said. "I've missed you!"

Botan made another noise of confusion, ignoring the way the others laughed at her.

"But…" she began. "What happened to your hair?"

"I dye it black to help me blend in with the humans," Yukina explained. "I don't really like wearing the coloured contact lenses though, they're quite uncomfortable, so I tend to just wear these dark glasses to hide my eye colour."

"You have beautiful eyes just as they are, my love," Kuwabara said to her.

He turned to her and she leaned closer to kiss him softly on the lips. Botan swallowed hard, pushing down a remark about how bizarre it was to see aging Kuwabara kissing still-youthful Yukina. It was amazing that they were still so in love – and in that moment Botan was glad that Yusuke was not present to see them together like that, as it was sure to make him wonder why Keiko could not have overlooked his demon lifespan in the same way Kuwabara had for Yukina.

"And…" Botan began, waving a hand up and down in the air. "You've grown so tall!"

"I was still young when we first met, Botan!" Yukina replied, smiling in amusement. "I was still just a girl back then. I'm a woman now though."

She smiled at Kuwabara and they nuzzled noses together. Seeing them still so ludicrously happy together, Botan began to wonder if she ought to just bite the bullet and tell Yusuke about her true feelings for him.

"Why are you two still here?" she asked the loving couple. "Kurama's excuse was that he needed to gather the demon flowers, but why aren't you two at the party?"

"Keiko told us you and Urameshi were in the living world, and we figured you might be here," Kuwabara replied.

"Where is Yusuke?" Yukina asked. "Is he alright?"

Botan slowly shook her head.

"He's hurting quite badly," she said. "It's almost as bad as the day Keiko got married herself. He uh… In his heart he holds the greatest love, but it will never be known or returned."

Yukina's eyes began to water over and Kuwabara quickly took her into a reassuring hug. Kurama placed a hand on Botan's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile as she looked up at him.

"These things have a way of working themselves out," he said softly.

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**Next Chapter:** After briefly joining the party, Botan and Yusuke return to demon world, where they have differing opinions about how to pass the remainder of the evening. After some confusion and a small mishap, Botan makes a bold advance to express her true feelings for Yusuke: but things don't quite go as she expected. **Chapter 2 – Living for a Fantasy**

**A/N: **Please review, because I like getting attention…!


	2. Living for a Fantasy

**A/N:** I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters herein, they are all the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

**Recap:** Thirty years after their adventures together, and the ol' spirit detective team have all moved on with their lives: well, almost all. Yusuke is still in love with Keiko, but she has long moved on, and was attending her own daughter's wedding. And, just as Yusuke is still blindly devoted to Keiko, Botan is madly in love with Yusuke – but she has never made her feelings known.

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**Chapter 2: Living for a Fantasy**

"Hey Botan, do you wanna dance?"

Botan lifted her eyes from the cocktail she had been stirring with a straw for the best part of an hour. The ice had melted long ago and the drink had deepened as a result and overflowed over the rim of the glass, creating a small puddle on the table surface.

"That's very sweet of you to ask, but I don't like dancing," she lied before lowering her eyes to her drink again.

"That's not true! You love dancing!"

Botan sighed. She did love dancing. She always had. She had danced with almost all of her friends: all except one.

"Why don't you ask Yukina instead?" she suggested.

"I just thought that you might want to dance," Kuwabara replied, sitting down opposite Botan at the table. "You've been sitting here in this dark corner all on your own for so long. You look even more miserable than Urameshi did when he first showed up here, and even he's having a good time now."

Botan lifted her eyes again, almost instantly finding Yusuke. He did look a lot happier than he had earlier that day – in fact, she thought, he looked a lot happier than he had in months. He was playing some sort of drinking game with Kurama and Shizuru. It was almost amusing to watch, because every time they tipped back their heads, Kurama sneakily flung the contents of his glass over his shoulder. As a result of this little trick, the fox demon was still reasonably sober and Shizuru and Yusuke were becoming progressively intoxicated.

"I'm glad to see him so happy," she said, smiling slightly as she watched Yusuke laugh at a joke Shizuru had just told that had left Kurama looking bewildered.

"You don't look glad," Kuwabara muttered. "In fact, I don't think I've ever seen you look so miserable. You were never miserable before. You used to always be so happy. What happened?"

Botan forced a smile.

"Weddings always make me cry," she said.

It was only partially a lie.

"Yeah, you were a mess at Keiko's wedding!" Kuwabara agreed, chuckling slightly at the thought.

"I wasn't at Keiko's wedding," Botan reminded him. "I only briefly stopped by to offer her my congratulations and to let you know that Yusuke wouldn't be going to the ceremony."

"Yeah, but you were a total wreck!" Kuwabara insisted.

"I spent the day with Yusuke," Botan explained. "It was very hard for me to see him that distraught. He always put on the tough guy act and pretended that he was fine with Keiko leaving him and dating other men, and even when she got engaged he still acted like he was unaffected. Honestly, I don't think the gravity of the situation occurred to him until the day of the actual wedding. I think he was always in denial until that moment. And then, all those years of suppressing it made it as though someone had opened a floodgate…"

"But that's Urameshi you're talking about, Botan," Kuwabara gently pointed out. "And I know you guys are close, but it's not like you're linked emotionally or anything like that. And even if you are emotionally linked to him, he's having a great time over there, so you ought to be smiling too! This isn't a sad day, Botan!"

Botan looked across the room at Yusuke again. Judging by the way he was wildly gesticulating and Shizuru was doubled over laughing and Kurama was shaking his head with a smirk, it looked as though Yusuke was the one telling a joke. Botan wondered exactly what anecdote he was sharing with them. In her own experience, the only time Yusuke became animated when retelling anything was when he spoke about his time as spirit detective – a time when Keiko was loyally at his side. And it was clear that he was already quite drunk, with no sign of stopping his alcoholic binge any time soon as he had a half drunk glass of something resting on the table nearby where he was stood. Botan knew that she was going to spend another night holding back Yusuke's long hair whilst he vomited. In the morning she would be sent out to find something fatty and disgusting for him to eat and she would have an argument with him about how he ought to eat and drink slowly until his body had fully recovered, he would tell her to stop nagging him when he had such a pounding headache, he would ignore her advice and either have indigestion all day or go back to throwing up again. Once the worst of his hangover had passed, he would then either feel great because he was no longer ill and he had enjoyed himself the night before or he would feel terrible because he would remember why he had drunk so much the night before.

"Every day's a sad day when you're living for a fantasy," she muttered, speaking mostly to herself, her eyes still on Yusuke. "It's just something that will never be."

She sighed and patted Kuwabara on the hand as she caught him squinting at her in confusion.

"You're a dear, Kuwabara," she said.

"Okay…" he muttered, looking even more confused than ever.

She gave him a smile before her eyes wandered to something over his shoulder. Yukina was standing a short distance from their table, glancing their way anxiously. Botan still found it hard to accept that the tall, willowy figure with hair as dark as the night sky was Yukina. And it was not just that the ice maiden had darkened her hair and grown taller: her facial features had become more defined and pronounced and she had transformed from a pleasantly pretty girl into a devastatingly beautiful woman. Which made it all the more amazing that she and Kuwabara were still completely devoted to each other. Botan supposed that their relationship was simply one of true love, because, despite the obstacles between them, they had remained together and overcome all manners of adversity.

"I think someone's looking for you," Botan said, moving her eyes back to Kuwabara.

"Huh?" he asked, looking back over his shoulder. "Oh hey Yukina, my love!"

He waved a hand at her and grinned like an idiot, his expression and actions no different than they had been during the Dark Tournament more than thirty years before.

"Keep smiling, Botan," he said as he stood up from the table again. "It's okay to be happy, you know."

Botan nodded and forced another smile as Kuwabara took his leave from the table. She watched him walk back over to Yukina, who smiled at him and took hold of his hands as he joined her. They exchanged a few words and then moved closer to each other, Yukina wrapping her arms around Kuwabara's shoulders and Kuwabara putting his arms around Yukina's waist, and together they began slowly swaying to the music – and Yukina was actually now tall enough that Kuwabara could rest his forehead against hers without stooping over, Botan noted. It was an inspiring sight, she thought, because it was proof, beyond all doubt, that true love did still exist.

But perhaps true love was only mutual in the most rare of cases, she thought sadly as her eyes once more moved over to Yusuke.

**

* * *

**

Botan had been flying around in a circle for close to an hour, but Yusuke had yet to notice, and so she kept up her pretence of taking him home, all the while smiling to herself, resting one shoulder against his chest and basking in the feeling of his arms around her.

"Hey, what about that Yukina, huh?" he asked.

He was sitting facing forwards and she was, as always, riding in the side-saddle position, meaning that when he spoke to her she felt his breath on the side of her face and neck and felt the tickle of his voice in her ear.

"Yeah," she vaguely replied.

She was not listening. When he talked to her in this position, it was more of a feeling for her than a conversation.

"She looked kinda hot," he said. "I can't believe she's still with Kuwabara! He's a lucky bastard!"

"Yeah," Botan said vaguely.

"Or maybe she's the lucky one," Yusuke said, his voice lowering sadly. "Kuwabara doesn't care how ridiculous he looks going around with a girlfriend who looks young enough to be his daughter… Unlike Keiko…"

Botan was torn. She wanted to feel sorry for Yusuke and sympathise with his pains, but at the same time, he was cuddling closer to her and his lips were so close to her ear when he was speaking and if he could not be with Keiko, did it really have to mean that he could not be happy? She was sure that she could make him happy if he would just give her the chance to, if he would just let go of his past hurt and open his mind to future joy.

"Damn it Botan, what is taking so long? Shouldn't we be back by now?"

Botan snapped out of her thoughts and quickly tried to get her bearings, tried to remember how many times she had circled Yusuke's tower and whether she was moving away from or towards it. In her daze she had completely forgotten. They were both still dressed in the clothes they had donned for Keiko's daughter's wedding, and she had been quite distracted by how fabulous Yusuke looked and how nice it was to snuggle up to him when he looked and smelled so good, and to be flying with him. Her two favourite things were flying and Yusuke, and having the two together often left her a bit scatter-brained. Well, more scatter-brained than usual.

"Um, I was taking a short-cut!" she lied, dipping down through the clouds to get a visual of where they were.

She expected to find them flying away from Yusuke's tower and that it would be in sight, and she tensed herself in expectation of a scolding from Yusuke: but when they cleared the clouds and Botan saw where they were Yusuke was shocked into silence and she was left totally confused.

"I guess I took a wrong turn somewhere…" she muttered.

"Damn it, Botan!" Yusuke groaned.

"Oh goodness, isn't this the recreational plaza?" Botan asked as they flew low over the rooftops of several buildings adorned by gaudy neon signs depicting money symbols and naked women.

"Botan! "The recreational plaza"? Gees, you're so dumb sometimes! This is the red light district!"

Botan sighed.

"I was trying to be polite," she pointed out.

"Oh, I get it!" Yusuke said, grinning at her and wiggling his eyebrows.

"What?" she asked, feeling even more confused than ever.

"You took me here to cheer me up, right?" he said. "You're the best, Botan! You know me too well!"

"Yusuke, I have no idea what you're talking about! Can you at least – Yusuke, no!"

Botan gasped and sharply pushed down on the handle of her oar to chase after Yusuke, who had just leapt down. He landed on the roof of a building and hopped his way down over a few balconies to the ground below and promptly took himself into the building that bore tackiest of tacky neon signs, comprised of two naked women doing something Botan thought might be sexual and a string of money symbols running around their naked bodies, flashing through three different colours too quickly for comfort. Botan landed on the ground facing the door Yusuke had gone through, glancing nervously at the two gigantic demons guarding it. A scream from the inside of the building wiped the indecision from her mind and she moved over to one side of the entrance and sat down on the ground with her back resting against the wall. She would just wait outside until Yusuke remerged.

She had, a few times before, chosen to go inside one such establishment – and she still shuddered to recall those memories.

After what was probably more than an hour of counting the gold stitching on the sleeves of her kimono, Botan finally noticed someone approaching her and she gladly stood up with a smile, drawing in a breath to greet Yusuke, only to sigh it out again, her smile sagging as she saw that it was a woman – an employee of the club judging by her clothing and figure.

"Hey sweetheart," she greeted Botan.

"Good evening," Botan replied, bowing her head.

"Nice!" the woman replied, smiling and nodding her head approvingly. "Subservient little geisha girl is a very sexy gimmick."

"E-excuse me?" Botan echoed.

"You're here for a job, right?" the woman asked. "You've got a pretty face. Nothing special, but those big eyes and that soft hair sort of fits the whole "servant woman" act, so it still works."

"What?"

The woman began walking around Botan, who stayed perfectly still, too confused to move or talk.

"You've got an okay ass," the woman said as she passed Botan's back. "Like your face, it's nothing great, but it's okay. Your breasts are really small, but hey, some guys like that. And after you've worked here a few months, you could probably afford the surgery to give you a better pair anyway."

Botan screamed as the woman grabbed the material of her kimono and pulled it upwards. She managed to hit the woman's hands away, but not before her legs had been exposed up to her mid-thighs, drawing the attention of several passers-by.

"Nice legs," the woman concluded. "You ever tried pole dancing? You've got great legs for it."

"How dare you?" Botan hissed. "I'm not here to work, I'm waiting for a friend!"

"Oh, you're a hooker?"

Botan felt tears start to sting at her eyes. The last few days had been impossibly difficult, she did not now need a demon woman telling her how unattractive she was and accusing her of being a sex worker.

"Excuse me!" she said, shirking past the woman and marching up to the entrance of the club.

"No entry without a membership card or a bribe," one of the doormen told her.

"I'm with Yusuke Urameshi, now get out of my way!" Botan shouted angrily, pushing him aside and storming into the club.

She shouldered and elbowed her way through a sea of rowdy men who tried to grab at her, eventually finding Yusuke in his usual place, sat by the edge of the stage.

"Yusuke!" she yelled into his ear.

"Damn, Botan!" he yelped, ducking away from her and pressing a hand to his ear. "Don't scream at me like that!"

"I think you need to go home, mister!" she continued, ignoring his complaint. "It's late, it's been a long day, and this is a terrible place!"

Yusuke arched his eyebrows at her, casually picking up a bottle of dangerously dark liquid and taking a swig from it.

"I'm having a good time," he said as he lowered the bottle again, the stench of alcohol on his breath making Botan's eyes water. "Go on home, I'll see you there later."

Botan wiped a tear from her eye and sighed.

"The last time you said that, I had to come back here at ten o'clock the next morning, and I found you asleep out on the street," she reminded him.

"I don't remember that," Yusuke replied. "Stop exaggerating, Botan!"

"I woke you up but you refused to actually physically get up, so I had to pick you up and put you on my oar and fly you back home," Botan explained. "I put you to bed and you slept until three in the afternoon, at which point you rolled out of your bed and threw up on the floor."

"…I definitely don't remember that. Don't you think I would remember if you had managed to carry me back to my bed?"

"Um…"

"Just go on ahead and make yourself a nice cup of cocoa and go to bed, grandma!"

Botan thinned her eyes angrily but Yusuke had already turned away from her. She looked up at the performance on the stage that had caught Yusuke's attention, groaning in despair. Yusuke was not nearly drunk enough for her to manage to drag him out of the club on her own, and so she was left with only two choices: she could either go back to waiting outside for Yusuke – and risk being forcefully recruited as a member of staff for the club – or she could get some help extracting Yusuke from the club. After a few seconds of debate and watching the rowdy demons around her, Botan decided on the latter, and made her way out of the club again, summoning her oar and rocketing up into the sky.

Hokushin often lacked a sense of humour when Botan had to enlist his help with anything – in fact, she thought, Hokushin lacked a sense of humour entirely – and so going to him always made her apprehensive. In an attempt to distract herself from the task ahead of her, she veered away from the bright lights of the plaza and over to the darkened, uninhabited forests, where she often saw the exotic wildlife of demon world. None of the creatures she saw were strong enough or fast enough to catch her, and so she often flew over the forests to observe them, as some of them were quite beautiful. And, as though to prove that she had made the right decision, an especially beautiful bird flew up out of the trees in front of her, soaring off to her left. It was so beautiful, with sparkling plumage and a long, flowing tail, Botan could not take her eyes off of it; and in doing so, she promptly forgot the first rule of steering: the hands always follow the eyes.

Botan did not know how long she followed the bird for, either in time or distance, and she only awoke from her trance when something hideous shot up from the ground and devoured the bird in one gulp. She cried out and pulled back on her oar, halting herself midair. A quick glance around about her told her that she was well and truly lost, and in a part of demon world she had never seen before. She contemplated turning around and flying in the opposite direction she was currently facing, but as she could not be sure that she had flown in a straight line, she did not know if that was the best strategy to employ. She slowly turned around on the spot as she tried to decide what to do. As she completed her rotation she saw the monster that had eaten the bird shooting up from the ground, her brain taking longer than it ought to have to acknowledge that the monster was after her.

She screamed and shot away, but the monster – despite being some sort of worm with a mouth the size of its own head – was so massive, it could reach up high and cover great distances with little effort, and evading it proved much harder than she had initially thought it would. The monster snapped at her oar, barely missing her, and the displacement of air caused by it closing its jaws created a blast of wind that sent Botan spiralling downwards. She screamed as she tried to right herself, branches of trees scratching at her face and hands and catching in her hair and clothing. By the time she had control of her oar again she was in the thick of the forest in near pitch-dark conditions, but she was too frightened to think clearly. She flew forwards without changing direction or ascending above the trees, her breathing become ragged and uneven.

In her panic, Botan began thinking about only one thing: where was Yusuke? Would he know that she was in trouble and come and rescue her? He usually had a way of knowing such things – Kuwabara had joked about it, but perhaps she really was somehow emotionally connected to Yusuke. She heard movement behind her and she started to lose focus.

"Yusuke, help me, please…" she whispered.

She heard more movement behind her and her heart began to race.

"Help me!" she wailed.

She screamed as she collided with a thick branch of a tree that easily knocked her from her oar. She landed hard on the ground below, the sound of her oar bouncing away from her resonating around her head. She started to try to stand but something that felt worryingly like a boot collided with one of her shoulders and shoved her back down to the ground. She closed her eyes and tensed, waiting for an attack: but one never came. Instead, she heard the worm monster screaming and the sound of conflict behind her. She sighed in relief and sat up, touching a hand to her chest, feeling her heart thudding against her palm. She was a little annoyed that Yusuke had kicked her down, but it had not hurt, he had done it to keep her safe and she knew that it had been a difficult day for him, so she decided to forgive him.

As the commotion of the battle ended Botan got to her feet, shirking past a lump of bloodied flesh from the monster that had somehow been hacked off during the battle and landed nearby her. In the dark of the forest she could not locate Yusuke immediately, but eventually she noticed a shadow moving towards her, which soon took the shape of a man with wild hair carrying her oar.

"Your timing is just perfect!" she cried, running towards him. "My hero!"

She threw herself at him, grabbing her arms around his neck and squeezing him as tightly as she could. He grunted and she heard him drop her oar with a clatter, but as he did not try to push her off, she held on.

"You're always in the right place at the right time," she said.

She sighed, her mind vaguely registering that something seemed odd – like the fact that she was on her tiptoes in order to rest her chin on Yusuke's shoulder – but she was mostly overcome by her relief, and so she dismissed her concerns. Instead she delighted in the feeling of holding onto him. And, when he continued to let her cling onto him – which was very unlike him – she suddenly found her voice speaking the one thought that had been lingering in her mind for countless years.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

She felt him flinch against her, but again he neither said nor did anything.

"Please," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "Please just kiss me. Don't say anything, don't tell me it's wrong, just do it. Please."

Botan choked out a faint sob and clung onto Yusuke tighter. After a few more seconds of holding onto him she felt his hands on her shoulders. His fingers slid up her neck and into her hair – which had mostly come loose after her tearing through the branches of the trees – and he gently pulled her head back. She submitted to his touch, letting him angle her head back, closing her eyes and praying that he would oblige her request. And, barely an instant later, she moaned in surprise and ecstasy as she finally felt his lips on hers.

She melted into his hold, clinging at his clothing to keep herself on her feet. He worked his tongue between her lips and into her mouth, smoothing it against hers, dominating the pace of the kiss. Botan tried to follow his movements as best she could, but he was being almost aggressive with his assault on her mouth. But, despite their kiss not being exactly gentle or tender, Botan's knees began to tremble and falter beneath her, and she had to reaffirm her grip on his clothing to keep herself upright. She was glad when he moved his hands to her back, curling his arms around her and holding her against him and on her feet. It was not exactly how she had imagined their first kiss would be, but it certainly was passionate and memorable.

Eventually, just as Botan was reaching the point of discomfort, he slid his tongue out of her mouth. She started to relax only to moan out again as he lightly caught her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled on it gently. As he finally broke the contact between their mouths Botan collapsed against him, burying her head into his shoulder and panting in exhaustion. They remained that way for some time more, her barely standing and him holding her up in a tight embrace.

"Oh Yusuke…" she muttered into his shoulder.

"What?" he grunted.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that…" she said breathlessly. "Yusuke, I… Oh Yusuke…"

"Did you just say Yusuke? As in Yusuke Urameshi?"

Botan froze. That was not Yusuke's voice. She was too afraid to blink or even to breathe. If he was not Yusuke, then who was she clinging to? Who had she just kissed?

"Y-Yusuke…" she muttered.

"You thought I was Yusuke?"

He sounded offended. And he clearly did not sound like Yusuke. And, Botan thought miserably, before they had kissed, she had begged him to kiss her.

"Well…" she said slowly. "You rescued me from the monster…"

Botan slowly leaned back, tilting her head up to look at the face leering down at her. In the darkness of the forest it was difficult to make out much of anything, and so, out of desperation, she move her hands to his neck, feeling her way up to his face. He had the face of a humanlike demon, which was something of a consolation to her, since her initial fear was that she had just let some sort of monstrous looking demon become the first kiss she had been saving for her one true love. But, after fumbling about over his features, trying to ignore the way he growled and grunted when she poked at him, Botan realised that she did not really know how to recognise a person's face by touch – though she thought she might be able to do it with Yusuke because she knew his face better than anyone's. She moved her hands to the demon's hair, finding that it felt much like Yusuke's did, only it was much shorter, and it seemed to all sweep up towards the back of his head. She sighed in frustration, ready to give up and start yelling at whoever he was for taking advantage of her, but just then her hands landed on something that seemed familiar somehow.

The demon was wearing a bandana around his head, and a little more fumbling around – and a few more disgruntled snarls from him – revealed to her that he had a jagan eye in his forehead, concealed behind the bandana. Botan slowly moved her hands from his face to his arms, pushing them from her. He obligingly let her push him off and she gladly staggered back from him. As she stopped she saw an eerie silver glow of demon energy appear in front of her, illuminating a hand. She watched the hand move through the air and then stop between her face and the demon's.

She gasped at what she saw.

"You!" she cried, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Hn. Idiot."

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** Botan is surprised to see how Hiei has changed since she last saw him, but mostly she is repulsed that she kissed him. Just as she thinks she has gotten over the embarrassment of the moment, she is again reunited with Hiei and forced to endure his taunts: but she learns something about Hiei that perhaps evens the score between them. **Chapter 3 – Same Difference**

**A/N:** The sickness continues…

Please review. Reviews make me bounce…


	3. Same Difference

**A/N:** I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters herein, they are all the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

**Recap:** After the wedding after-party, Yusuke went to a strip club and Botan got herself into a spot of bother, but she was rescued by who she thought was Yusuke. She begged him to kiss her and he obliged: only, oh noes, it wasn't Yusuke! It wasn't Yusuke at all!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 3: Same Difference**

Botan ignored the growling and grunting at her side and continued spitting and wiping her kimono sleeves across her mouth. She was absolutely horrified – she had been saving her first kiss for Yusuke, and to have wasted it on a demon taking advantage of her was simply too much to bear.

"I hope you're ashamed of yourself!" she hissed, scowling at the demon watching her. "Where is the honour in what you just did?"

"What I just did?" he echoed. "I just saved your miserable life."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it!" she snapped.

"You're talking about the fact that I kissed you?"

"Of course I'm talking about the fact that you kissed me!"

"You were begging for it."

"How dare you?"

"...You literally begged me to."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did."

"Even if I did – and I'm not saying that I did, because I most definitely did not – what sort of man would go ahead and kiss a girl who begged him to?"

"...If you need to ask that question then you are even more idiotic than I originally gave you credit for."

"I only asked you to kiss me – asked, not begged – because I thought you were Yusuke!"

"Yes, so you said already. An understandable mistake..."

Botan paused. Even in the dark conditions she could see him rolling his eyes. She huffed and began straightening out her clothing before tidying her hair where it had come loose from her fall through the trees and during their interchange. As she completed her task, she started to realise that the demon before her looked familiar.

"Have we met before?" she asked.

"Hn, probably," he replied. "I'm unfortunately rather familiar with spirit world and many of its more prominent residents."

Botan felt a strange chill pass over her.

"How did you know that I am from spirit world?" she asked.

He picked up her oar and gave her a look that suggested that he thought she was infinitely stupid.

"Right..." she muttered, stepping forwards to retrieve it.

"Wait," he said, moving the oar out of her reach. "First tell me why you are here. If spirit world are in contact with Yusuke again that must mean something significant."

"No," she replied, taking another step towards him. "Yusuke and I are just... Old friends."

She tried to retrieve her oar again but again he moved it just beyond her reach, her hand closing around open air.

"Yusuke doesn't have any "friends" in spirit world," he said. "In the human world he does, but not in spirit world."

"I was his assistant when he was Spirit Detective, if you must know!"

As a look of realisation spread over the demon's face, Botan started to realise that he did in fact look familiar. In her multiple failed attempts to take back her oar, she had taken herself very close to him, close enough that she could see every detail of his face in spite of the darkness around them. He had pronounced and strong features, bold red eyes and spiked black hair. The spikes at the front of his head were highlighted by a streak of white that formed a star shape like a jagged halo floating at an odd angle over his head.

He looked a bit like Yukina, especially so now that she wore her hair black.

"Of course!" he snorted, a lop-sided smirk appearing on his face. "You're that ridiculous, bouncy, interfering ferry girl. I remember you. Hn, how pathetic: are you still trailing Yusuke around like a lost animal? Even after all these years?"

Botan knew that she ought to be offended, but she was too distracted by the man in front of her. He was dressed in black – a long cloak and loose-fitting pants that hid his specific shape – but even in those clothes his bulky build was evident. The hilt of a katana was just visible at his hip, poking out through the folds of his cloak, and she could just make out the head of a black dragon on the back of his right hand.

"Oh, ew, Hiei?" she blurted out.

"It's a real pleasure to see you again too, idiot," he replied.

"But you're so tall!"

Hiei again gave Botan a look that made her feel ridiculous, and she remembered then that it was the same look he had pretty much always given her. And, she reasoned, he was perhaps justified: Yukina had grown exceptionally tall and so it only made sense that Hiei, as her twin brother, should also have grown taller too – though as logical as the change was, it was still a surprising sight to behold. He was possibly even taller than Kuwabara and he was certainly broader across the shoulders. Botan wondered what Kuwabara would think if he met Hiei now, and the thought made her smile.

"Something amusing you, woman?" Hiei asked her.

"No," she lied, forcing away her smile.

"Something's amusing me," he said.

"Oh really?" she asked. "Well you know it's very rude not to share a joke."

"Then let me tell you a hilarious joke."

Botan frowned. She had never known Hiei to tell jokes before, least of all "hilarious" ones.

"It starts with a meddlesome ferry girl who lost sight of herself and developed a ridiculous attachment to a human boy," he began. "A human boy who was already in love with a human girl. The ferry girl behaved foolishly and pretended to be alright about not being able to act on her feelings, but she didn't fool anyone with her pathetic act."

"This isn't a joke," Botan said quietly.

"I haven't told you the funniest part yet," Hiei replied, grinning wickedly. "The human boy the ferry girl was pining after was reawakened as a demon, and this gave the ferry girl foolish hope for her love. She started to believe that she could have the one she wanted after all: all she had to do was wait for his human lover to die of old age, like all humans eventually do."

"A joke is something that's funny, Hiei!"

"I still haven't got to the best part yet," Hiei replied. "The ferry girl kept waiting and kept following the demon around, even though the demon saw her as nothing more than a hindrance. Decades passed and still she followed and hoped, and with every year that past, her life became more pitiful and more pathetic."

"Shut up!"

"And the punch-line is, the demon never realised the ferry girl's repressed feelings, but even if he had, he never would have returned them because she was about as lovable as a worm."

Blinded by fury and hurt, and tired of being forced to suppress her emotions that day, Botan swung a hand at Hiei's face with the intention of slapping him – unfortunately for her, he effortlessly caught her wrist long before her hand reached his cheek.

"It's been a long time, I'd like to see Yusuke again," he said. "And I could use a little light entertainment like watching you fawn all over him pointlessly. Take me to him."

Hiei pushed Botan's oar into her hand and then released her wrist. Her first thought was to simply leap onto the oar and quickly get as far away from him as she possibly could; but then another idea occurred to her.

"Yusuke's in a gentlemen's club," she began, intent on building up to asking Hiei to help her remove Yusuke from the club and return him to his tower.

"A what?" Hiei asked.

"A gentlemen's club," Botan repeated.

"You mean a strip club?"

"...Yes, I suppose so..."

"Hn, so just say that then."

"It sounds incredibly vulgar to just say it like that..."

"Lead the way, I want to see him for myself. I hear he's a good deal stronger now than he was when we last duelled, and that he spends all of his time in his full demon form. I wouldn't mind testing his skills to see if he's still a worthy opponent for me."

"Yusuke could destroy you with one flick of his wrist!"

Botan leapt onto her oar and rose up above Hiei's head and out of his reach before continuing.

"I have a joke for you, Hiei!" she called back down to him. "It starts with a rude little fire demon whose arrogance blinds him to his own shortcomings, and so he continuously challenges a much more powerful demon and continuously suffers one humiliating defeat after another!"

Botan then shot off, flying for about half a minute before halting abruptly: she still had no idea where she was and how to get back to Yusuke. Looking down, she saw Hiei running on as though he knew where he was going – which, she reasoned, between his jagan eye and demon senses, he probably did – and so she decided to follow him in the hope that he would guide her back to Yusuke.

**

* * *

**

Back at the club, Botan was relieved to find that, by the time she had landed, banished her oar and smoothed out her hair and clothing from the effects of flying into the wind, Yusuke was exiting the club with Hiei.

"It's not funny," Hiei said sternly as Botan approached them.

"It's hilarious!" Yusuke replied. "Look at you: you finally got past puberty!"

Yusuke slapped Hiei on the shoulder and Hiei growled at him, shirking out of his reach as he tried to put an arm around him.

"You even sound different!" Yusuke continued, unfazed by Hiei's hostility. "I guess your voice broke too, huh? Probably right after your balls dropped, right?"

"Shut up!" Hiei snapped.

Botan smiled smugly and folded her arms over her chest as Hiei looked her way.

"This is pointless," he sneered. "He's too drunk to be a worthy challenger to me!"

Yusuke looked up at Hiei and started to ask who he was talking to before stopping again as he noticed Botan.

"Oh, hey Botan," he greeted her. "I thought you went home for a cup of cocoa and a nice early night."

Botan sighed and Hiei smirked.

"Well since you're here, could you fly me home?" Yusuke asked. "I don't think I'm legal to drive."

Botan started to berate him for telling unfunny jokes but stopped short when he grinned at her hopefully and her heart skipped a beat.

"Of course," she said.

"Great!" he said.

She summoned her oar and moved over to join him. She hopped onto her vehicle of choice and Yusuke clambered on awkwardly behind her.

"Hey Hiei!" he called out.

"What?" Hiei responded.

"Climb on, you can stay the night at my place," Yusuke offered, patting the blade of Botan's oar behind him.

"Yusuke!" Botan protested.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"I can't carry more than one passenger!"

"It's okay, Hiei's tiny, he doesn't weight as much as a full-grown person does."

Botan gave Yusuke a flat look but he seemed not to notice the ridiculousness of his words, only taking on a look of understanding as Hiei moved over to join them, his now imposing shadow falling over them both.

"Oh yeah, right," Yusuke muttered. "I guess I forgot about that..."

Hiei muttered something indecipherable but apparently Yusuke did not hear it, as he did not respond.

"Let's just get you home, Mister," Botan said.

"Okay, grandma," Yusuke replied, quirking an eyebrow at Hiei and pointing a thumb towards Botan.

"I'll test your strength some other time, Yusuke," Hiei answered him.

"You want a fight?" Yusuke asked, starting to climb off of Botan's oar again. "You want to "test my strength", you better do it right now, while I'm tired and Botan's here, because if you wait until I'm at my best I'll leave you flat on your back in under a minute."

"I look forward to it," Hiei dryly replied.

"I'm only letting you go because Botan's here," Yusuke continued, ignoring Hiei's response. "I don't want to upset her by making her watch you get beat down like a loser."

"Yusuke, please," Botan said gently, reaching out a hand to his shoulder. "Don't mind me. I'd like to see you punch that smug look clean off of Hiei's face!"

Yusuke brightened and took a decisive step towards Hiei, promptly tripping over Botan's oar and landing flat on his face.

"Like I said Yusuke, some other time," Hiei said.

He moved his eyes to Botan, who took a moment to notice that he was watching her. As their eyes met she faltered for a moment before straightening her back and turning her nose up in the air indignantly. He smiled and grunted out a "hn" before disappearing in a blur of black.

"Well some people never change, I suppose," she sighed. "He's still the same arrogant and rude soul that he was back when we first met him. You should pound him as badly as you did then, Yusuke."

Botan slowly felt her ire fade when Yusuke did not answer her.

"Yusuke?" she asked, looking about herself. "Yusuke!"

She looked down. Yusuke was still face down in the dirt. She sighed. Hiei had not changed since the day he had battled Yusuke for the Artefacts of Darkness, but neither had Botan. Hiei was still the same soul whose satisfaction depended on his one day defeating Yusuke and Botan was still the same soul whose happiness depended on her one day earning Yusuke's affections. It seemed ironic to her that both she and Hiei depended on one person to bring joy into their lives: one person who was currently lying face down in the dirt and oblivious as always to how much others needed him so.

Botan slowly stepped off of her oar and crouched down at Yusuke's side, mentally preparing herself for another night that he would never remember of her getting him safely into bed and then nursing him back to his senses the next morning.

**

* * *

**

"Tell me why we're here," Botan demanded.

"It's a surprise," Yusuke replied.

"But you know that I don't like surprises, Yusuke!" Botan shouted, stamping a foot impetuously.

"Keep it down, would you?" Yusuke complained, pressing a hand to his ear nearest her.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself because you have a hangover," she replied.

"Yeah, that's right," he agreed. "I am because I do!"

"Well you should have thought of that before you got so drunk last night!"

"Hey, I got home and into bed, so I can't have been that bad."

"Do you remember how you got home and into bed?"

"No, which is a clear sign that it was a great night."

Botan sighed. Yusuke could not remember how he had gotten home and into bed the night before because he had not gotten home and into bed the night before, rather Botan had draped him over her oar and flown him back to his tower, where Hokushin had begrudgingly helped her to carry Yusuke to his bed: it was something that had happened more times than Botan could recall.

"I don't like this place, Yusuke," she said, hooking her arm through his and shuffling closer to him.

It was an eerie place that Yusuke had taken her to, but no worse than most other places in demon world – Botan was simply using the excuse of being wary to cuddle up to him. It was rare that they visited a part of demon world she was not already familiar with, but whenever they did, she always feigned fear and clung onto him.

"Well you're probably gonna have to learn to like it, Botan," Yusuke said. "I have a feeling we'll be coming here a lot from now on."

Botan stopped walking, tugging back on his arm.

"I don't like the sound of that," she said.

"It's no big deal," he replied, pulling her along. "I'm just meeting someone here."

"Meeting someone?" she echoed. "Who? And why didn't you mention it before?"

"I got a message this morning from an old friend to meet here."

Botan groaned.

"What?" Yusuke asked, smiling at her response.

"It's that no-good cad Hiei, isn't it?" she said through a sigh. "You've come here to fight him, haven't you?"

Yusuke stopped walking and Botan jerked to a halt at his side as her arm caught on his.

"Look around you, Botan," he said. "Does this look like the sort of place I would come to to fight someone?"

Botan looked around. They were in a plush hotel bar, much like the hotel they had all stayed in on Hanging Neck Island during the Dark Tournament, and whilst the hotel itself was in no way concerning, the poor lighting and array of demons huddled in small groups in the various dark nooks and crannies made the atmosphere very unsettling.

"I can never tell with you," she concluded. "Maybe you want to have a bar room brawl."

"Not my style," Yusuke corrected her. "And here's the lady in question."

"Lady?" Botan echoed, her heart missing a beat in panic and disappointment.

Yusuke had not said anything about meeting a female. Was this a date? And if so, why had he dragged her along with him?

"Hey, how's it going?" he called out, waving a hand above his head in greeting.

Botan turned her head in the direction he appeared to be looking. Her brain took a little longer than she felt comfortable admitting to to recognise the figure holding up a hand in acknowledgment of Yusuke's greeting. Although Botan had not seen her since the demon world tournament some thirty years previously, Mukuro had not changed in the slightest. And, at her side was of course Hiei, who had changed quite substantially.

"Yusuke, I'm glad that you could make it," Mukuro said as all four joined together in the centre of the bar.

"Wouldn't miss it," Yusuke replied.

"I've booked the conference room here at the hotel, shall we?"

"Sure!"

Mukuro turned and walked away and Yusuke followed behind her. He had slid his arm out of Botan's, but she followed him regardless, only stopping when she felt something tugging at the collar of her kimono by the back of her neck. She looked back and saw Hiei glaring down at her almost accusingly.

"Their meeting doesn't concern you, ferry girl," he told her.

"Who are you to decide that?" she asked as she tried to wriggle out of his grip.

"Mukuro brought me here to police this meeting," he flatly replied. "She brought me here to ensure the privacy of the meeting, and that means keeping mouthy idiots like you out."

Botan's jaw dropped in outrage but Hiei said no more.

"Well Yusuke brought me here as his assistant, so I need to go with him," she said.

She jerked her entire upper body forwards and escaped his hold.

"Yusuke!" she called, hurrying after him.

Ahead of her, in the hotel lobby, Yusuke and Mukuro stopped walking and turned to look back at her. They exchanged a few hushed words before Yusuke called out something that made Botan's heart sink.

"You just wait here with Hiei, Botan," he said. "We won't be long. You guys can… Catch up on old times!"

Botan's top lip twitched in irritation, but she forced a smile for Yusuke's benefit.

"Okay, I'll wait right here!" she called back. "Don't be too long in there!"

Botan watched Yusuke go until he was out of sight before turning back to Hiei.

"Well I hope you're satisfied," she said, narrowing her eyes to glower at him angrily.

"Satisfied with what?" he snorted. "Being left babysitting a noisy brat like you?"

"You're calling me a brat?" she echoed.

"Yes," he calmly replied. "Now wait quietly for your master like a good dog."

"Dog?"

"Hn, it's an apt analogy."

"Well at least dog's are loyal!"

"They're also stupid and emotionally transparent."

""Emotionally transparent?" Why, because I know how to express emotions other than just anger?"

Hiei turned his head away from Botan as though he was growing bored of their conversation. She tried not to let his actions infuriate her, but she was already quite emotional, and warding off irrational outbursts was getting harder for her to do.

"How many times have you done this?" he asked her. "How many times have you followed Yusuke somewhere and been shut out and left waiting for him? What's the longest he's ever made you wait for him?"

She growled.

"Actually, don't bother answering that," he corrected himself. "I already know. The longest he's ever made you wait is 30 years, and you're still waiting now. Pathetic."

"You're waiting too, you jerk!" she snapped, finally losing the last shred of self-control she had. "You've been left waiting by Mukuro, so don't stand there and act like you're so much better than me when you are in exactly the same position as I am!"

Botan was so riled up, she took several deep breaths before realising that Hiei was not arguing back and that he was no longer smirking condescendingly at her. A few breaths more and she noticed the slight anger in his suddenly wide eyes. Another few breaths and she noticed the way his lips were quivering as though they were barely containing a sneer or a biting retort.

"You're no different from me," she said, folding her arms smugly. "If I'm pathetic, then so are you."

"You can't possibly know that!" he snapped suddenly.

Botan frowned, taken aback by his sudden rage.

"And don't even think of comparing the two: you're an idiot spirit, foolishly wishing for romance with a demon, whereas Mukuro and I are equals beings and I seek a sensible partnership of strength and honour with her!"

Botan's frown began to fade. Hiei was in love with Mukuro. She started to smile.

"Meow, this is an interesting twist to the tale!" she said, pulling a kitty face and pawing at the air.

"Wipe that look off your face, or I will pluck those whiskers out one by one!" Hiei snarled at her.

"Oh, calm down mister grumpy boots!" she replied, easing the cat-look from her face. "I think it's simply marvellous that you've found yourself a… "Partner". It's just a pity that she doesn't return your feelings. And since you seem to be quite hurt about that, I wonder why you insult me for being in exactly the same situation with Yusuke."

"Our situations are very, very different," he said.

"You love Mukuro and she doesn't love you back, I love Yusuke and he doesn't love me back. That seems quite similar to me."

"It's not in the slightest similar. Yusuke already has a lover and he doesn't need a frivolous thing like you. Mukuro, on the other hand, is foolishly pining for a love long lost."

"Well that's where you're wrong. If you'd bothered to stay in touch with your friends, you would know that Keiko left Yusuke many, many years ago. She married another and she has children of her own now. Yusuke is still in love with her, but she has long since let him go."

"That's not the same thing at all!"

"You say tomato, I say tomato."

"You say potato, I say shut the hell up!"

Botan sighed and shook her head.

"Manners like that won't help you to woo the lady of your desires, Hiei," she pointed out.

"Idiot, Mukuro doesn't need to be "wooed", she's a warrior!" Hiei spat angrily.

"Maybe so, but a little patience and kindness go a long way," she replied.

"I'm hardly going to take advice from you in this situation, am I?" he sighed, rolling his eyes. "You've been "patient" and "kind" and look where it's got you: standing around in a hotel lounge waiting at the door for Yusuke like a pathetic little girl!"

Botan clenched her fists tightly at her sides, her face contorting in anger.

"Idiot, you're doing exactly the same thing as I am!" she yelled.

Hiei opened his mouth as though he intended to correct her, but a strange look passed over his eyes, and, for a brief moment, he looked like he actually realised the point she was trying to make.

"Idiot," he growled, turning his back on her.

"You're the idiot!" she muttered, turning her back on him.

"You're the real idiot, idiot."

"Saying that makes you sound like a bigger idiot!"

"And saying that is just idiotic."

"It's not idiotic, it's rightiotic!"

Botan felt quite smug that she had had the last word: though as time passed and she considered that her last word had been a non-word, she started to feel idiotic.

After about an hour of pretending to be interested in the maps and paintings that decorated the walls of the hotel lounge area and trying to ignore the way Hiei was glaring at her the entire time, Botan was relieved to see Mukuro returning from her meeting with Yusuke. Botan turned expectantly, watching the corridor Mukuro had emerged from, waiting for Yusuke to appear too: but instead, after a brief and hushed conversation with Hiei, Mukuro went back the way she had come and Yusuke failed to appear.

"Hey, idiot, follow me."

Botan turned her head away with a flick of her ponytail: she absolutely refused to respond to the moniker "idiot". She had remembered that Hiei was rude and that he infuriated her, but she had actually forgotten just how rude and infuriating he was. Maybe the others had all matured since their days working for spirit world, but Hiei certainly had not.

"Idiot, follow me, or you'll be sleeping outside tonight!"

Botan turned around, Hiei's words overriding her ire.

"We're staying here tonight," he called over to her, holding up a key in the air to indicate his point. "If you want a bed to sleep in, you better move."

Botan begrudgingly stomped after him, following him into an elevator. As the doors closed behind them she eyed him over, her face twisted in disgust. She had been wondering what sort of business Yusuke had with Mukuro that could possibly require all four of them to stay at the hotel that night, but as her eyes wandered the length of Hiei's body her thoughts strayed.

"What the hell are you looking at, idiot?" he grumbled, keeping his eyes on the counter that told them which floors they were passing.

"You," Botan honestly replied. "You look quite different. Though so does Yukina. She's grown up to be as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. She was always a pretty girl though, so the change in her is less surprising than the change in you."

Botan turned to watch the counter, but from the corner of her eye she saw Hiei turn to look at her.

"You haven't changed at all," he said.

"No, I suppose I haven't," she replied. "And I suppose it's nice for you that you finally grew up a bit. It must be convenient to be able to reach the top shelf of the fridge now without Kurama's help."

"Hn, don't bother trying to sound clever, it doesn't suit you," he shot back.

"I wasn't being "clever", I was just pointing out the facts," she said snootily. "It's quite surprising, really. You used to be quite odd-looking – like a gerbil. You had that little upturned nose and you were kinda goofy and you had big cheeks and you were small–"

"Does this trip down memory lane have a point?"

"Just that it's surprising that such a strange-looking boy would grow up to become such a gorgeous specimen of a man."

Botan felt as much as saw Hiei's eyes double in size at her side, and as the elevator pinged and the doors slid open she raced out ahead of him, hurriedly retrieving a fan from one sleeve of her kimono. As Hiei joined her in the hall she forced a smile and avoided looking directly at him.

"It's very hot in here," she lied as she attempted to fan away the redness from her face.

"It's too hot," he muttered.

Botan dared to look at Hiei then, surprised to find that he looked a little flustered himself.

"It's this way," he added, turning from her and starting along the hall.

Botan followed after him, trying to calm herself as she went. Yusuke had not mentioned anything about staying at the hotel, and it was not something they had ever done before: usually if they were away from Yusuke's tower for longer than a day they would take it in turns to journey back, with Yusuke sleeping the first part whilst Botan flew them on her oar and then Botan sleeping the second part as Yusuke carried her on his back. This hotel was reasonably close to Yusuke's home and Botan was sure that, even in a strong headwind, she could have flown them home in less than two hours. She contemplated asking Hiei what the meeting was about and why they had to stay at the hotel, but decided against it as she remembered how generally unhelpful he was.

Hiei led her to a door that opened into a large living area with a miniature bar and kitchen at the back and a door leading off to either side. Botan took a little time to look around herself before noticing that Hiei was aiming himself for one of the doors off of the room they were in. She turned to watch him and noticed that the door had a sign hanging on it that read "Mukuro". She turned to her other side and saw that the other door had a similar sign that read "Urameshi". She casually walked towards it and into the room beyond, where she found herself in a plush bedroom, decorated with an extravagant four-poster king-sized bed and a small bathroom adjoining the back of the room.

"Well, it's nice to know that you got yourself a luxurious room, Yusuke," she muttered. "But what about me?"

Botan paused, mid-step on her way around the room. There were only two bedrooms in the suite they were in, but there were four bodies. She briefly entertained the thought of sharing a bed with Yusuke, her eyes lingering on the delightfully comfortable looking bed in question, but memories of Yusuke's behaviour the day before at Keiko's daughter's wedding brought her back to her senses: obviously only Yusuke and Mukuro were staying in that suite, and obviously she and Hiei would be staying somewhere else.

Botan's top lip curled: was she going to have to share a suite with Hiei? She took a moment to check that the bedroom door had a substantial lock on it before moving back into the living room area, where she found Hiei lying on the couch, his coat thrown haphazardly in the general direction of a coat-stand, his boots kicked off by the entrance door. He had one hand behind his head and the other was holding open one of the complimentary magazines from the pile splayed over the low glass table in the centre of the room.

"I'd like to go to my room, please," she said, folding her arms and waiting expectantly.

"Hn, "your room"," Hiei grunted, keeping his face concealed from her view behind the magazine he was pretending to read. "You do amuse me."

"I'm serious Hiei, give me the key to my room," she insisted, walking over to the arm of the couch Hiei had his feet propped up on.

"You don't have a room, idiot," he said with a sigh. "Why would Mukuro pay for a room for an idiot like you?"

"Hiei, that's not funny!" Botan snapped. "You maybe think that you have a sense of humour now, but you don't! There's a fine line between being ironic and just making inappropriate remarks!"

Hiei lowered the magazine to look over the top of the pages at her.

"This is the only room reserved for Mukuro's party," he said flatly. "It's not my fault you can't take a hint after thirty years."

"There are only two bedrooms in here!" she pointed out. "I don't have a bed, but neither do you!"

"I'm sleeping here," he said casually, nodding at the couch he was filling with the length of his body. "I always sleep out here to keep guard when Mukuro is meeting with someone."

Botan twitched in agitation but Hiei lifted up his magazine again, hiding his face behind it once more.

"Well you're just going to have to sleep on the floor tonight!" she snapped, slapping his feet from the arm of the couch.

He threw down the magazine and pushed himself up onto his elbows to glare at her.

"I need to sleep on the couch, you can sleep on the floor," she said tightly.

"I got here first, and I have a reason for being here," he growled back. "You sleep on the floor!"

"I'm a lady and you're supposed to be a man! You can't make me sleep on the floor!"

"Well I'm not moving!"

Hiei repositioned his feet and settled back down onto his back, closing his eyes. Botan's mind went blank as logic was lost to rage. She stomped forwards a few steps and then sat on top of Hiei's mid-section.

"What the hell are you doing?" he roared, his eyes opening immediately.

"I'm not sleeping on the floor, Hiei," Botan replied in a low voice.

He tried to sit up, his actions forcing Botan to slide into his lap, becoming lodged between his slightly bent legs and his chest.

"You're a stubborn idiot," he growled at her.

"Ditto," she shot back. "If you won't get on the floor, we're just going to have to share this couch."

He growled but she turned her nose up in the air indignantly.

"Fine by me, idiot," he said. "I'll gladly sleep with you tonight."

"Fine by me," she replied. "I'll gladly stay on top of you all night long."

Botan felt her smugness slowly melt as she considered what she had just said and what Hiei had just said. She gulped anxiously, deciding that she ought to correct herself just in case he had misinterpreted her, but as she started to turn to tell him as much her eyes tripped over something in front of her.

"Hiei…?" she said faintly.

"What?" he grunted.

"Why have you got your hand up my kimono?"

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Hiei maybe has put his hand up Botan's kimono, but that's nothing compared to what she does to him… And just when it seems like things can't possibly get any weirder or more awkward, Hiei suggests something that Botan thinks might just be the best idea ever. **Chapter 4 – Keep Pretending**

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews. For those who have read more of this fic, you know how sick it gets. For those who haven't, brace yourselves, because the hurt/comfort element of this fic doesn't take the form you think it might/ought to.

That said, please review.


	4. Keep Pretending

**Recap:** Yusuke and Mukuro went off for a meeting together and conveniently left Hiei and Botan alone in a hotel room with only one couch between them as a bed for the night.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4: Keep Pretending**

Botan waited patiently for Hiei to answer her – or at least, she waited as patiently as any ferry girl could when she was sitting in the lap of a demon who had his hand up her kimono. His very warm hand that was very firmly gripped around the inside of her left thigh. She glared at him expectantly, but found that he looked as confused and horrified by his actions as she felt. Maybe it had been an accident. Maybe he had grabbed onto her to stop her from falling to the floor and his hand had accidentally slipped underneath her clothing. Underneath her three layers over double-wrapped clothing.

"How did you even manage that?" she demanded.

"Hn, don't flatter yourself, idiot!" he snapped back. "I'm not attracted to you!"

"I never said that you were!" she yelled.

"Then get off of me!"

"No! You get off! I'm the lady, you should be the one to sleep on the floor!"

"I'm not moving!"

"Well you'll – ah!"

Botan tensed all over as Hiei's hand slid further up her leg. She was unsure if he had done it deliberately or not, as it had happened as he had adjusted himself slightly on the couch, and it had seemed accidental: but as she caught a faint hint of a smirk on his face she realised that he was trying to make her feel awkward so that she would surrender the couch to him.

"You pig!" she screamed.

She grabbed a magazine from the nearby table, rolled it up and began smacking him about the head with it – or rather, she tried to smack him about the head with it whilst he easily batted aside her blows with an easy flick of one hand. After several seconds of pointless slapping from Botan, Hiei slid his hands under her and pushed her from the couch. She landed on all fours on the floor but she was quickly on her feet, and before she could even think about what she had done, she had already flung one of the decorative floor vases at Hiei's head. He had apparently not predicted her move as he barely ducked out of harm's way in time, his face clearly expressing his shock.

"I hate you!" she spat when he turned to her as though expecting an explanation for her action.

"The feeling's mutual, but at least I get the couch," he replied, lying back down.

Botan ran to the other side of the room and grabbed up another floor vase. She raised it above her head and began charging towards Hiei, who leapt off of the couch and shot to one side as she launched it at him. The vase hit the back of the mini-bar, smashing against the wall and breaking all the optics hanging there. The contents of the bottles quickly spread, leaving a dark circle in the carpet around the entire bar.

"Idiot!" Hiei cursed her. "Why should Mukuro have to pay for your petty vandalism?"

Botan stared at him blankly as she hoisted up the third and final remaining floor vase.

"Don't even think about it!" he warned.

Her face still blank, Botan hurled the vase at Hiei, who caught it awkwardly in his arms and carefully placed it on the floor behind the sofa. He then began retrieving the first vase, which had only been chipped, and, whilst he was suitably distracted, Botan sought out another weapon, one that Hiei did not notice until he had set down the partially damaged floor vase.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he cried as she started towards him.

Botan was wielding the coat-stand like a lance and aiming it at Hiei's mid-section, though he appeared to think that she was aiming her attack somewhere else, as both his hands flew to cover his groin. Botan took on a maniacal grin, Hiei's actions having given her an idea, and she lowered her aim.

"You're starting to piss me off!" he warned, stumbling backwards to maintain distance between them as she continued to charge at him. "I don't run away from anything or anyone!"

"It doesn't look that way right now!" she pointed out.

Hiei stopped and caught the end of the coat-stand in one hand, jarring Botan to a halt as she was still clinging to it with both arms.

"Take the damn couch, you infuriating bitch!" he said, pushing the coat-stand down.

She yelped and dropped the item in shock. As the noise of it clattering against the floor faded she looked up to see Hiei grabbing up his coat and boots.

"I'm going to take one of the bedrooms anyway," he said.

"You can't do that!" Botan cried, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Those rooms are reserved: look, they have nametags on the doors!"

Hiei casually walked over to the door marked "Urameshi" and unhooked the sign. He made a show of pretending to read it before moving his eyes to Botan and smiling sarcastically as he snapped the sign in two between the fingers of one hand.

"Well two can play that game!" she said, marching over to the door marked "Mukuro".

She unhooked the sign, wiggled it in the air at Hiei and then began trying to break it. Unfortunately, it was an inch thick and made of wood, and did not so much as bend, even when she laid it against her leg and pushed down on both ends with the heels of her hands. After straining herself into a sweat she eventually gave up and settled for throwing the sign across the room at Hiei. It landed less than halfway towards its intended target.

"Pathetic," Hiei spat.

"Loser!" Botan sneered.

They both stormed into their respective rooms and simultaneously slammed the doors shut behind themselves, the resultant vibrations knocking down most of the framed pictures from the living room walls.

Botan sighed and started towards the welcoming bed at the back of the room, only stopping as she sighted the room service menu on the pillow and a welcoming note that addressed the occupant as "Emperor Mukuro".

"Oh poo!" she muttered.

She could not stay in that room. Hiei had won their argument after all, because she would have to return to sleeping on the couch out in the living room area. She did not want to risk sleeping in Mukuro's bed in case she did not awaken before Mukuro herself returned to find her there. Yusuke would have a sense of humour about finding Hiei asleep in his bed, but Botan did not know Mukuro well enough to know if she would share the joke. Tears of frustration began blurring Botan's eyes, and she stumbled closer to the bed and then let herself fall onto it, face-first. She felt worse when she discovered that the bed was even more comfortable than it had looked like it would be.

And within minutes, she was fast asleep.

**

* * *

**

Hiei stood still, his head tilted back and his eyes closed, letting the water from the shower beat down on him. He was only a little bit curious about why Mukuro was meeting with Yusuke, as he had never really cared for the more intricate political aspects of his leader's job: but he was more than a little bit concerned about Mukuro choosing to meet with Yusuke and not Yomi or anyone from his territory. It was not paranoia, as such, it was more just suspicion. After all, Yusuke had grown to look quite alarmingly like his late ancestor, Raizen.

Hiei had been serving with Mukuro for close to thirty years, and it was, by far, the longest he had ever remained in one place or with one person. He was loyal to her in more ways than one, but infuriatingly she was only really interested in his value to her as a soldier and ally. She entrusted him with many things and he knew that she respected him more than anyone else in her employ, but she still refused to have him as anything other than her right-hand man. He had tried to advance their relationship from worker and boss to something more intimate, but every time he tried she fed him one of two equally infuriating excuses for why that could never be: either she fought him and pointed out that she could not accept him as a lover because his strength was inferior to hers or else she waxed lyrical about her eternal bond to another soul who had never returned her feelings. Which was quite stupid, really, not to mention wholly pathetic.

Raizen was long gone, and even when he had been alive, he had spent most of his time starving himself and whining about some miserable human woman; but for some reason Hiei would never fathom, Mukuro still felt some sort of attachment to the demon who had once rivalled her for leadership of demon world. As far as he could tell, Mukuro and Raizen had never been anything more than sparring partners and then opposing leaders, and yet still Mukuro seemed to be blinded to any other offer of partnership. It was infuriating because Raizen was dead, he had never wanted Mukuro and nothing was going to change that.

And now two things had happened, both of which made Hiei's situation feel all the more desperate and pathetic: Mukuro had called Raizen's descendant and virtual lookalike into an all-night "meeting" and Hiei's own life sounded about as pathetic as that ferry girl's did.

Of all the things he could ever have had in common with something from spirit world, suffering an unrequited love was not one that Hiei was proud to admit to or even to accept.

He turned off the shower and stepped out of it, walking back into the bedroom, dripping wet and without a towel. He paused, tilting his head slightly as a wretched noise began to reach his ears. Unfortunately the walls of the hotel suite were not very soundproof, and he could hear the ferry girl in the other bedroom talking to herself, or saying a prayer.

Still soaking wet, Hiei crawled into Yusuke's bed and clamped a pillow over each of his ears in the hope of blocking out the noise. He doubted Yusuke would appreciate it if he tore the girl's vocal chords out, despite the fact that doing so was obviously a good thing.

**

* * *

**

Botan awoke with a start. She did not know what had woken her, but suddenly she was very awake and sitting bolt upright in a bed that she was aware she was not supposed to be sleeping in. She quickly looked about herself, relieved that she was alone and could not hear any sounds of movement within the rest of hotel suite, but she was also alarmed to find that, despite having fallen asleep fully-clothed and on top of the bed-sheets, she was somehow stripped down to her yukata, her hair was loose and she was comfortably underneath several layers of bedding.

In a panic she clawed her way out of the bed and staggered away from it, stepping back into her sandals – which she had also conveniently discarded at some point – she grabbed up her remaining clothing and hurried out of the room to the living room area beyond. The room was still a mess from her earlier scuffle with Hiei – the carpet around the bar was still stained from the spilt drink and surrounded by pieces of broken vase, the other two vases and the coat-stand were still out of place and the plaques from the bedroom doors were still lying in random places on the floor – but there was no trace of life there otherwise and the couch did not look like it had been slept on. Botan sighed in relief, glad at least that Mukuro was not camping out there, angry at having lost her bedroom to a deep-sleeping ferry girl.

As Botan began to relax, she noticed a note stuck to the door of Yusuke's bedroom, and, her curiosity getting the better of her as always, she hurried over to read it.

"We have something urgent to attend to, we will meet you at lunch-time in the agreed place," she muttered. "Don't leave the hotel until I get back, Mukuro. PS, I couldn't stay here because the ferry girl is sleeping in my bed, and she was making enough of a racket asleep, I didn't want to have deal with her awake."

Botan carefully stuck the note against the door again, all feelings of having successfully avoided Mukuro catching her in her bed vanishing and leaving behind only a feeling of stupidity and embarrassment. She was at least glad that Mukuro had not awoken her, as waking up to find Mukuro standing over her would have been even more distressing than knowing that Mukuro had gone elsewhere to find a bed to sleep in.

Botan looked at the first word of the note again. It said "we". That could only mean that Mukuro had taken Hiei with her when she had left, and the note was obviously intended for Yusuke, as it was stuck on his bedroom door. Botan smiled to herself, relieved that Hiei was gone and Yusuke was back in his place.

She lingered outside the door for several seconds, thoughts of Yusuke sprawled out in the bed beyond the door filling her mind.

She spent a few seconds more stepping from side to side as she contemplated going into the room to check on Yusuke. She eventually convinced herself that she only wanted to check that he was in bed and asleep and that he had not thrown up on himself – though she did not know if he had been drinking that night or not – and she carefully opened the door and quietly slipped into the room. She closed the door behind her, but again blocked out why. She tip-toed across the room to the bed, where she could see an undefined shape beneath the sheets. As she reached his bedside, she realised that Yusuke had buried himself beneath so much bedding that she could not actually see him.

Botan hesitated again as she contemplated what she ought to do. She knew that she probably ought to just turn around and walk away, but instead she silently opened out her yukata, slipped it off of her shoulders and slid her feet out of her sandals once more. She then delicately and cautiously worked her way beneath the sheets.

**

* * *

**

Hiei awoke slowly. He was bundled up in a strange bed and his mind was rousing slowly from his dreams, his body a step ahead of it and a haze of confusion descending upon him as a result. He could feel something on his back, and although his body already knew otherwise, his mind was still creating imaginings of Mukuro being in the bed with him. The thoughts were so pleasant, his brain stubbornly lagged behind his body, remaining in a state of semi-consciousness and spawning mental pictures to accompany the feeling of fingers massaging at his back. It made absolutely no sense that Mukuro would suddenly want to sneak into bed with him and start touching him in ways that were almost too good to bear, but it was a nice thought to entertain, and so Hiei let himself think it for a little longer.

When the hands were joined by lips, Hiei's entire body jerked and he was suddenly very awake, and there was no longer any doubt in his mind: someone was in the bed with him, playing silken fingertips over his skin and placing tantalisingly soft kisses up over his shoulder. He slowly pulled down the bed-sheets to fully expose his head, turning around gradually. He already knew that his dreams were not about to be realised, as the creature in his bed was clearly not Mukuro: not only could he not sense any power from the creature but he did not feel any metallic fingers amongst those teasing him, and the smell of the creature was far too sweet and light to be Mukuro. He had an idea that it was some sort of low-class demon prostitute who made a living out of sneaking into hotel rooms and seducing sleeping demons and then robbing them blind: but as he turned fully around the lips that had been kissing over the curve of his shoulder suddenly crashed into his, and the delicate hands that had been on his back were suddenly on his arm, pulling at him in an attempt to roll him onto his back.

Hiei grunted and moved his eyes to the face against his, his shock at what he saw overtaking his physical strength as the ferry girl somehow managed to pull him over and mount him during his moment of confusion. What the hell was she doing? He had almost forgiven her little "mistake" in the forest when she had claimed to have only kissed him because she thought he was Yusuke – which was a flimsy excuse at best – but there was no excusing what she was doing now.

He gripped her arms in his hands and quickly rolled over, pinning her down on the bed beneath him. Like a tenacious animal, she maintained their kiss by suckering herself onto his lips. Her eyes were closed and she was wriggling slightly beneath him – and in that moment, as he felt a stiffened nipple brushing against his chest, Hiei also realised that she was nearly completely naked. No woman had ever thrown herself at him so boldly, not even in one of the crude brothels Yusuke had once taken him to.

Well, he decided, if she wanted him that badly, it would be foolish to refuse. She was a loud-mouthed, graceless, powerless idiot, but she was quite pretty and she certainly was keen to please him. And so, that decided, he pushed his tongue into her mouth, which she gladly opened for him, her back arching up from the bed and her body pressing flush against his. It was a lot of sudden skin-on-skin contact, especially so when she then wrapped a leg around his waist, but again, it was not entirely a bad experience. He had suspected that their kiss in the forest had been her first, and by the way she was eagerly and more confidently responding to him this time, he felt sure that it had been. She was apparently keen to learn, and her arms were twitching beneath his grip, her hands trying to reach up to him. He let her have her way and released her arms, her hands quickly moving to his sides and from there slowly gliding around to his back again, her arms enclosing him in an embrace that was firm but a little apprehensive – much like everything else about her was. His hands now free, Hiei placed a hand on each of the ferry girl's shoulders and began slowly dragging his hands down over her body.

He groaned into their kiss as his fingers passed over the swelling of her breasts and she pushed herself into his touch. Her fingernails began clawing at his back as his hands slid lower still, passing over her taut abdomen and tripping over the elastic of her panties. He felt her judder beneath him, and as he slid his fingers inside her underwear she suddenly whipped her tongue out of his mouth and dropped her arms down. He stopped moving until she began pushing her elbows into his chest, at which point he broke all contact between them, moving his hands onto the mattress at either side of her head to push himself up from her.

"I'm scared," she said faintly, her hands covering her face. "I-I've never… I mean, I want to, but I…"

"Hn, if you're this eager for it, I promise, it won't hurt," he assured her.

Her eyes snapped open and her hands moved from her face to form fists by her throat. For a long and tense moment, enormous pink eyes stared up at Hiei from beneath twisted pale blue eyebrows. And then suddenly his ears were being assaulted by a shrill scream.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled, hurriedly clamping a hand over her mouth.

Her eyes looked almost deranged, and when she realised that her screaming was almost inaudible against his palm, she took to biting at his hand as hard as she could.

"Stop that!" he ordered.

When she did not, he picked up a pillow and stuffed that against her face instead. She began to thrash about, and Hiei shortly realised why: she needed to breathe. He sighed and lifted the pillow, watching as the ferry girl somehow managed to wriggle her way out from under him. She fell out of the bed and grabbed up her discarded yukata, clutching it to her chest to conceal her bare breasts, and she staggered to her feet, rounding on him.

"You rotten monster!" she wailed.

"What?" he echoed. "You came into my room and started trying to seduce me: don't bother playing the innocent ferry girl card with me again, because unlike you, I'm not stupid! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on–"

Hiei stopped short as one of his boots smacked him square in the face.

"Well that was helpful," he muttered.

"You're not supposed to be here!" the ferry girl cried. "There's a note on the door from Mukuro, and it says that you left with her! I though Yusuke was in this room!"

"Oh I see," Hiei said dryly, manoeuvring himself around to sit on the edge of the bed facing her. "You regularly sneak into bed with Yusuke and tease him with your practically naked body only to become all frigid at the last possible second because you're worried about your purity. I can't imagine why he doesn't love you back…"

The ferry girl growled and grabbed up Hiei's other boot, flinging it at him in a slow and ineffective manner. He easily caught it, giving her a withering look that apparently finally conveyed to her just how much she was pissing him off because tears sprang to her eyes.

"Idiot…" he muttered.

**

* * *

**

Botan was shaking all over. She stumbled slightly, struggling to keep a hold of her yukata. Her vision was blurred by tears, and she could not decide why she was crying: the humiliation of again mistaking Hiei for Yusuke or the reminder from Hiei that Yusuke still did not return her feelings.

"I don't constantly try to…" she tried to say. "I don't… This was the first time I've ever… I just thought that since even Keiko's daughter has moved on, maybe Yusuke would… I don't know what I was thinking!"

She sobbed openly and tried to ignore the way that Hiei rolled his eyes. He stood up from the bed, the sheets falling away from him, and suddenly Botan saw something that dried her tears in an instant.

"Oh my goodness!" she cried. "Put some clothes on, Hiei!"

He quirked an eyebrow at her as though her order had amused him, and instead of making any effort to obey it, he stretched his arms above his head and yawned. Botan, meanwhile, was trying to look anywhere but at Hiei's naked body.

"That's despicable, Hiei!" she added in the hope that she would shame him into covering himself up as she had had the decency to do.

"I sleep naked," he flatly replied. "It's the only way I can get comfortable in bed."

"Well that excuses the nudity, but don't you think it's highly inappropriate to be brandishing that thing around like it's a weapon?" Botan growled, keeping her head turned from him.

From the corner of her eye she saw Hiei look down at himself. He did not even flinch when he saw how aroused he was.

"Cover it up!" she insisted.

"Fine," he said.

She turned towards him and almost collapsed: he had covered himself up, but not in the way she had meant. He had literally just dropped the boot she had thrown at him onto his erect member, concealing it inside his own footwear.

"Oh, you think you're such a comedian, don't you Hiei?" she sneered.

"You came in here looking for me," he replied.

"I came in here looking for Yusuke!"

"Hn, like a cheap and easy whore…"

Botan tried to argue back, but she was again overcome by tears.

"You're a jerk, and I hate you!" she said instead, yanking open the bedroom door and sprinting across the living room to Mukuro's room again.

She barged through the door and slammed it closed again behind her. Once inside the room she buried her face into her yukata and dropped to her knees, crying into the folds of silk. She was so consumed in her own misery, she did not hear someone coming into the room behind her, only realising the situation when she found herself being lifted off the ground. She started to yell at Hiei to put her down and he obliged her by throwing her a little too roughly onto the bed. She bounced a few times and before she could right herself she felt Hiei's hands on her ankles and he suddenly tugged downwards, sliding her down the bed. She screamed in shock, but again he was on her before she could argue.

"What are you doing?" she hissed as he covered her body with his.

"You were fine with this until you opened your eyes and saw that it was me," he replied, leaning over her.

"Exactly!" she said, sinking into the pillows in the hope of distancing herself from him. "What's your point?"

"My point is, we're both tired, we both have needs and neither of us will get back to sleep unless we do something about this."

"Wh-what are you saying?"

"You were fine with this until you opened your eyes."

"So?"

"So just shut your eyes and keep pretending."

"Do wh–"

Botan's words were cut off as Hiei pushed his lips against hers. She glared at him accusingly but he simply moved a hand over her eyes, blocking out her vision. She remained tense for some time, but, as his other hand returned to the place it had been before she had pushed him off of her in the other room, the feeling of fingers moving to a part of her body she had never been touched on she found herself starting to think that maybe what he had suggested – as ridiculous and immoral as it was – was maybe not such a bad idea after all.

Botan closed her eyes and pictured the person she actually wanted lying there with her, and everything changed. She began returning his kiss and she put her arms around his shoulders, clinging onto him to stabilise herself as a rush of pleasure overtook her and she began to feel light-headed with desire.

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** (Rating goes up to M because) Hiei and Botan do the unthinkable, and although they are both content enough that night, the following morning things are tense and awkward, especially when they are reunited with Yusuke and Mukuro and have to pretend that nothing happened between them. **Chapter 5 – Overlook This Supposed Crime**

**A/N: **That's right, this isn't your usual hurt/comfort fic. The hurt/comfort in this fic isn't long speeches, crying and wrist-slitting: it's just lots and lots of role-playing sex… Never let it be said that I follow trends…

Thanks for the reviews, especially MystiKoorime and ReaperDemon, I appreciate you both still reviewing this fic even though you've already read these chapters!


	5. Overlook This Supposed Crime

**A/N:** Seriously porny chapter warning. Also, the porn gets more explicit and more intense with every chapter, so if this is too much for you, probably best you don't read any further. There might be plot in this story, but not in this chapter.

**Recap:** Botan accidentally crept into bed with Hiei, and after much arguing, found him in her bed, where he told her to just go with it. And she did.

**

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**

**Chapter 5: Overlook This Supposed Crime**

Botan wondered if this was what Nirvana felt like. Her head was spinning and her body trembling as she felt her panties drag down her thighs. She was sure that he was deliberately taking his time removing the one piece of clothing she had been wearing when he had climbed into bed with her and she was trying to urge his movements on, but he seemed to be determined to draw the moment out, to leave her panting with desire and almost bursting to feel more of his touch. Even once he had finally unhooked her underwear from her feet his hands were slow on their journey back up the length of her legs. She wriggled and squirmed and whimpered in anticipation, her mounting need granting her an almost superhuman sense of feeling, as she could almost feel every fibre of the luxurious bedding against her bared skin.

Botan could not stop the cry of delight that burst from her as his fingers finally reached their destination. It amazed her that he could, by just touching one part of her, make her entire body flood with a warmth that tingled all the way down to the tips of her fingers and toes. With one hand he let his thick, warm fingers massage at her and with his other hand he pulled one of her hands downwards. She was so distracted in the throes of her pleasure she did not immediately realise what he was doing, and only when she felt her palm being pressed against something hot, firm and almost pulsing did she understand. She had no previous experience of touching a man so intimately, and she was almost too lost in the new sensations she was feeling from his touch to concentrate on reciprocating, but once she had gripped her fingers around him she did not really need to do much else, as his hips began bucking in response to her touch, and all she really had to do was hold her hand in place.

When he pressed his fingers harder against her Botan thought she might pass out – actually, she thought, it was possibly that she had for just a moment, as she had kept her eyes closed throughout and could not tell anyway. Not that anything was registering with her any more: her senses were shutting down, one by one, her own whimpering cries sounding muffled to her own ears, and the feeling of his touch and the warmth and closeness of his body was all that was left. It seemed almost impossible to fathom that such physical pleasures could be felt, but with every passing second, the pleasure was intensifying and Botan's need for more was growing exponentially. She had existed a long, long time without ever succumbing to the sins of the flesh, but she was beginning to believe that she would not survive from that moment on if she had to be denied such delight in her future.

Botan felt the muscles in her thighs, hips, stomach and lower back tighten and quiver as her pleasure reached feverish heights, and although she had only ever heard passing remarks about what an orgasm was, she knew that she was close to one. She gripped tighter at his penis and began moving her hand up and down, trying to keep rhythm with his movements, wanting him to reach climax at the same moment that she did: though mere seconds later she lost the last of her sense of reality as her entire body was suddenly washed over by a wave of ecstasy. She vaguely heard her own voice making a sound she had not thought any creature of humanoid form could, and she soon found herself jerking up from the bed, her chest colliding with his. He put his free hand around her back and held onto her, but still his hand between her legs did not stop, his fingers still pushed and pulled and rubbed insistently against her. Her cries rose in pitch and she felt something warm flood her insides and something hot and wet spilling out of her.

Botan felt a little confused about what had just happened, but she felt so relaxed and so happy, she found it difficult to care. She reaffirmed her grip and began torturing his body the way he had hers, smiling to herself when he began to grunt and groan. She felt the muscles in his body harden before he let out an almost animalistic roar and she felt him expend his orgasm, feeble noises slipping from his lips as she squeezed out every drop from him. He eventually reached down and forcefully removed her hand from him and then gently pushed her back down to lie on her back, his weight sinking down on top of her. He was almost suffocating her, but as she came down from the body rush of their shared moment she felt a need to hold onto him, and so she tolerated the discomfort. She sighed and cuddled into him, the infinite sense of peace and the warmth of his body suddenly making her very sleepy.

"I love you, Yusuke," she muttered into his shoulder.

"Hn," he grunted back.

**

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**

Botan awoke slowly, feeling a vague sense of sympathy for Yusuke as she did so, because she felt as though she had a mild hangover. Before she had even fully opened her eyes she had pushed her bed-sheets aside and flipped onto her back, stretching her arms and legs out at her sides in an attempt to cool herself down. As her eyes focused on her surroundings, she found herself in a strange bedroom, but she quickly remembered that she was in a hotel room in demon world, and she then enjoyed a brief moment of blissful ignorance before her brain added that she was not only in a hotel room in demon world, but she was in Mukuro's bed, which she had shared with Hiei, and together they had done something Botan was certain would get her ejected from spirit world if she ever confessed to it.

With speed and agility that would probably have impressed even Hiei himself, Botan launched herself from the bed and into the bathroom, locking herself in and hurriedly switching on the shower. She turned the temperature control down as low as she could bear and stepped under the water, tense and shivering. She tried not to think about what she had done, but she could not stop herself. At the time it had seemed alright. It had seemed like the right thing to do. It had felt divine. But now, in the light of day and with the benefit of hindsight, she could see that it was a terrible crime.

She had fallen asleep most pleasantly, her mind under the deluded belief that she had just shared an intimate and passionate moment with the only person she had ever loved or wanted romantically, but she had awoken to the truth: she had indulged in something filthy and depraved with someone she barely knew and at best tolerated, and, to make it worse, she had pretended that he was someone else throughout.

Botan turned the temperature of the water up and began frantically soaping up the bath-brush.

She felt like a criminal, but most of all, she just felt dirty. She had an idea that maybe she could wash away the filth, and so she began scrubbing frantically at her skin with the brush, almost enjoying the ache she felt as she broke her skin from the force of her actions. No-one could ever know what she had done, that much was certain. If Koenma ever found out, he would surely expel her from his employ and spirit world, and that was nothing compared to what Yusuke might do or say if he ever found out.

But Yusuke never would find out – nobody would. She would never tell another soul, and she was almost certain that she could trust Hiei to keep quiet on the matter. He hated her and he was in love with Mukuro, and if he did admit to what he had done, he risked Mukuro being disgusted with him, and Botan was confident that Hiei would not take such a risk. And, of course, it had been a pure lapse in judgement on her part, and it would never, ever happen again.

As she continued to scour herself clean, Botan tried to remember why she had consented to indulge in a session of intense sexual petting with Hiei in the first place. She had, genuinely, not realised that she had snuck into bed with him until he spoke and she heard his voice. She genuinely had believed that Yusuke was the one in that bed – and a part of her had actually been glad when she had been wrong, because, again using that blessing of hindsight, she realised that sneaking into bed with a still emotionally raw Yusuke and forcing herself on him would have been a really bad thing to do. He would have been a gentleman about it and refused her, but that would have humiliated her, and things between them would have always been awkward afterwards, to the point that he might not even want her around any more. Hiei, on the other hand, had been quite typically ungentlemanly about Botan sneaking into his bed. She wished that she could say that he had forced her into what she had done, but she knew, deep down, that she had been so distraught and so wound up and in need of release that she had simply succumbed to his touch.

Botan slipped and almost fell. She told herself it was because the base of the shower was slippery, but the remaining fluttering in her chest told her otherwise. The absolute worst part about what she had done was that she had enjoyed it. She had really, really enjoyed it. She had done exactly what Hiei had suggested, and it had been far easier than she had thought it would be to pretend that the hands doing magical things to her were Yusuke's. Her thoughts of one day earning Yusuke's love had extended as far as sometimes imagining what it would be like to feel his touch, and, after years of fantasising about, desperation and need mounting with every passing day, week, month and year, the release had been beyond perfection.

But it was wrong. It was unfitting for a ferry girl to behave that way. It was unfitting for a ferry girl to do those things with a demon. It was downright immoral for anyone – ferry girl or otherwise – to lay down with someone and indulge in such pleasures whilst pretending that that someone was someone else.

Botan started to realise that she could over-think the severity of her situation. The complexities of getting involved with Yusuke himself had been difficult enough to overcome when she had, in the past, tried to consider how she would explain herself to Koenma and spirit world the day she did finally win the mazoku's heart, and so the complexities of involving herself with another demon whilst pretending that he was in fact Yusuke were unfathomable.

Adultery.

Botan shuddered, despite the heat of the water and went back to scrubbing her already painful red skin with the bath-brush.

**

* * *

**

After spending far longer than was necessary scrubbing herself ridiculously clean and then pulling on her clothes and spending a stupid amount of time tightening every fold and finally scraping her hair so tightly back that she gave herself a free facelift, Botan stepped out into the central living area of the hotel suite, where any feelings of control and calm she had been starting to regain vanished as her eyes landed on Hiei.

She stopped, her eyes widening as she regarded him. He was perched on one arm of the couch, his arms folded and a slight pout on his face. It was the sort of look he used to wear when he squashed himself onto a window-ledge, and it had seemed fitting back then because he had been small and apparently quite young: but now, in a very adult body that was way too large to fit onto any narrow strip of wood, he looked almost ridiculous. He slowly moved his eyes to one side to regard her, his expression unchanged as their eyes met. He looked as displeased, dissatisfied and disgusted with everything around him as he usually did, so presumably he was unaffected by what they had done the night before: and for that Botan envied him.

"Mukuro and Yusuke are meeting us for lunch in a café a few miles from here," he said quietly. "We need to be there soon, we really should leave right now."

She nodded. It seemed uncharacteristically decent of him to wait for her, she thought.

"But you can fly reasonably fast," he continued, starting with what seemed like a compliment and lured Botan into a false sense of security. "So perhaps I should wait another ten minutes so that you can do something about that nasty skin condition you seem to have developed overnight."

Botan's face dropped.

"Hn, that had better not be contagious," he added.

"Well if it is contagious, I must have caught it off of you, you filthy monster!" she yelled.

She looked about herself and then lunged at a floor vase, but before she could lift it Hiei had darted across the room and had a hand on the rim, holding it down.

"I hate you!" she hissed up at him.

"Good," he replied. "I was worried you might be one of those idiots who mistakes sexual contact for love."

Botan yelped out indignantly.

"I don't find anything lovable or sexual about you!" she sneered.

"Try to bear that in mind," he said, his tone changed slightly. "I don't want any tearful confessions over lunch. If you tell anyone – even Yusuke or Koenma – I will categorically deny that I ever laid a finger on you, and I will wash my hands clean of you and your little cries for help, understand?"

"I don't intend to tell anyone!" she shot back. "And you better not tell anyone either – though I don't know who you would tell, since you don't even visit Yukina or Kurama any more and you clearly have no friends – but if you do tell anyone, I'll tell them you're lying to make me look bad! And then I'll wash my hands clean of you and your… What do you mean "little cries for help"? When did I "cry for help"?"

"Hn, crawling into bed with me and then sobbing because I rejected you doesn't count as a cry for help in your eyes?"

Botan gasped and then clamped a hand over her gaping jaw.

"What have you done to yourself anyway, idiot?" Hiei asked, eying her over. "You look like you swapped your washcloth for a wire-brush!"

"I had to wash out the stink of you!"

A flicker of something Botan did not like passed over Hiei's eyes and then he slowly lifted the fingers of his right hand to his nose. Rather than watch whatever torment he had planned, Botan spun around and stormed out of the suite, slamming the door shut behind her. She started along the corridor before cursing "poo" and turning around. She stomped back to the door she had just slammed shut and threw it open again.

"I don't know where I'm going!" she yelled, balling her fists at her sides in frustration.

"Hn, idiot," Hiei said, smirking in a way that made her want to punch him.

He slowly crossed the room, picking up his cloak as he went. As he joined her in the hallway and locked door behind himself Botan eyed him over, something he caught her doing as he completed his task. He arched his eyebrows at her expectantly and she turned her head away.

"You don't cover your arm or your jagan eye any more," she said. "I just thought it was strange."

"I only do that in battle now," he replied. "And only then to handicap myself for the sake of my opponent."

Botan turned around to tell him exactly what an arrogant prick she thought he was for giving such a reply, but when she found him walking down the corridor without her – rapidly moving away thanks to his longer legs taking much longer strides – she stayed silent and hurried after him. She caught up to him just as the doors to the elevator opened and together they stepped inside.

The journey down was longer than the journey up had seemed the night before, and although the elevator made no stops on its way to the reception lounge, the time it took seemed almost ridiculous. The entire way down, Botan stole glances at Hiei, and every time she looked at him he appeared to be watching the counter above the door, but she was sure that in the instant before she looked at him and mere moments after she looked away again, he was watching her.

She wished that she had a jagan eye so that she could find out what he was thinking: and that thought reminded her that he did have a jagan eye and he could find out what she was thinking, and so she quickly starting humming her favourite song and thinking about spirit world in an attempt to remove Hiei entirely from her brain.

When the elevator doors finally opened again Botan made to leave first but Hiei barged past her, almost knocking her over. She stopped and glared at his back as he casually crossed the hotel lobby, donning his cloak in a smooth, swishing motion. The elevator doors started to close again and Botan yelped, leaping through them, only for them to close on the hem of her kimono. She cried out and began yanking at the material in blind panic, tearing it free a split-second before one of the hotel staff pressed the up button and the doors reopened, revealing a tattered piece of pink silk on the elevator floor.

Things just kept getting worse, she thought miserably.

She ran after Hiei, finding him waiting out on the street for her. He gave her a slightly condescending look as though she was a major thorn in his side that he just wanted to cut out by whatever means possible, and so she felt the need to explain herself.

"My kimono tore," she said, turning around to show him the damage at the back of her ankles.

"Is that really something worth crying over?" he asked flatly as she turned back to face him. "Hn, idiot, you're very easily moved to tears."

"Well unlike you, I care about what I look like!" she argued. "I always try to look my best when I'm with Yusuke."

"I don't know what Yusuke likes in a woman, but I can tell you that a torn kimono won't be something he would hold against you."

Botan stopped, tilting her head in confusion.

"You have plenty of other shortcomings you ought to be concerning yourself with."

"Ah, that's more like it. For a moment there, it sounded like you were being civil. Silly me…"

"Contrary to popular belief, men past the stage of puberty don't feel comfortable going to bed with virgin women who cry and panic at the sight of a penis."

Botan froze. Hiei turned and started to walk down the street. Botan marched after him.

"Well there's not much I can do about that, is there?" she said snippily as she trailed his ankles.

"Idiot, try having sex with someone," he replied without breaking pace or looking back at her.

"I don't want to sleep around, I'm not a hussy!" she snapped.

"I didn't say sleep around. I just said try it. Ideally get good at it before you throw yourself at someone you actually want to enjoy it with."

"That's horrible!"

"I'm doing you a kindness. Don't you think having sex with Yusuke for the first time will be awkward and stressful enough for you without the added pressure of it being your first time?"

"That's… Well… It would be even harder to sleep with a stranger as a virgin by that logic!"

"So sleep with someone who already knows you and what you are."

"Like who? You?"

Hiei stopped and turned around so abruptly Botan stumbled into him. Before she could move back his hands were on her arms, holding her in place as firmly as they could without his grip actually being painful.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked quietly.

"No!" she immediately replied, trying to struggle out of his grasp.

She knew that trying to free herself was a futile exercise, but she thought that if she did not at least try, he might think that she wanted to be held against him.

"I didn't hear you complaining last night," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

"I was pretending!" she wailed.

She was glad that she had scrubbed her face red, because she was sure that she was blushing, and hopefully it would not be noticeable through her raw skin.

"So if you "accidentally" crawl into my bed tonight, you'd be happy for me to kick you out?" he asked.

"First of all, it really was an accident, and secondly, I won't be anywhere near your bed tonight!"

Hiei's face changed slightly and he searched Botan's eyes as though looking for something. When she continued to frown and pout up at him, he started to grin.

"You don't know?" he asked.

"Know what?" she asked.

"We're staying in that hotel for three more nights at least," he replied.

"No!"

"Yes."

"No! Well… No! And even if you are staying there, I won't be! If Yusuke won't take me home, I'll just go back to spirit world!"

"Isn't spirit world your home?"

"Shut-up and let me go!"

"Fine."

Hiei released Botan, eyed her over blankly and then, in a movement too quick for her to hope to defend herself against, he leaned down and briefly kissed her on the lips. She jabbed a punch at his nose, her fist swinging through a faint after-image of his grinning face, a cloud of dust indicating which direction he had run off in. She growled and hurriedly summoned her oar, leaping onto it and shooting off after him. As she following the dust-clouds she wiped her lips on her sleeves again. Her heart was thundering in her chest, she was uncomfortably hot and she could almost hear the adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was all anger, but the symptoms of her anger were, rather ironically, the same as the sensations she had felt during her moment of passion the night before.

Which was a very, very worrying thought.

**

* * *

**

Botan was sceptical at first that either she had been following the wrong speed-demon or else Hiei had led her to the wrong place: she was standing outside of a roadside diner that looked like it had been made out of a giant, dusty old boot. It was rounded and the roof seemed to fold over like a boot-top, and there was even a rope mysteriously hanging from one side of the building like an old shoelace. And to complete the image, the whole place stunk of unwashed feet.

Botan gulped nervously and continued on, entering the diner with her head held high and her confidence at an all-time low: though she perked up a little when she spotted Hiei sitting down at a table beside Mukuro and Yusuke. She moved over to join them, sitting down next to Yusuke and opposite Hiei, her eyes on her friend.

"You took your time getting here," he commented. "What's wrong, did you forget your – holy crap, what happened to your face?"

Botan sighed patiently.

"I had a violent allergic reaction to something vile I came into contact with in the hotel room last night," she lied smoothly.

"Gees, you look awful, Botan!" Yusuke continued with his typical lack of tact.

"I feel awful, Yusuke," she replied. "And the only cure for this is for me to get as far away as I possibly can from that hotel and the vileness I encountered there."

"Oh, so you're going back to spirit world? Tell Koenma that I said hi and that he still owes me money."

"No, I don't need to go back to spirit world. I just need to stay away from that hotel and the filth that rots it."

Yusuke gave her a strange look that soon changed into an almost apologetic look that started to make Botan worry about what Hiei had told her earlier.

"I'm kinda staying at the hotel for a few more nights, Botan," he said carefully. "If you want to stay here in demon world, you'll have to stay there with me."

She moved her eyes to one side, watching Hiei to gauge his reaction to Yusuke's words. She expected him to be looking smug because he had just been proven right, or else to make a remark about her remembering to sleep on the floor or something else equally as banal, but his eyes were on a menu and he seemed to be completely engrossed in it, as though he was no longer even aware of the others at the table. Moving her eyes slightly Botan started as she found Mukuro glaring at her almost accusingly. Her first thought was that Mukuro knew what she had done with Hiei the night before: of course she knew, she had a certain amount of telepathic powers, and the thoughts of the night before had been lingering around Botan's mind despite her best attempts to quash them.

"Maybe you should go back to spirit world, girl," she said.

Botan gulped.

"Nah, she's okay," Yusuke said. "I trust Botan, and you can too. She's not like most of the assholes of spirit world."

"Such flattery…" Hiei muttered through a sigh.

Botan turned to glare at him but his face was still mostly hidden behind his menu.

"Well she'll need a place to stay," Mukuro said to Yusuke. "I intend to sleep tonight and I don't intend to share my bed with anyone."

Botan smiled as she saw the menu in front of Hiei quiver briefly.

"I'll get a room for her by ours," Yusuke said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve his wallet. "How much are the rooms there anyway?"

"For a room like ours?" Mukuro asked. "One night in a room like ours is three hirui stones."

Yusuke almost dropped his wallet in shock.

"That's why we're sharing," Mukuro added.

"Right, yeah…" he said awkwardly.

"You can send her to the motel on the edge of town," she suggested. "Rooms there are a lot cheaper."

"The edge of town?" he repeated. "I don't know about that. I don't like sending Botan away to somewhere strange on her own. She's not a demon, she might be in danger on her own like that."

"I'll send one of my men there with her."

"Can I trust him?"

"Do you really want to ask me that question?"

"I'm not saying that I don't trust you Mukuro, I just don't know any of your men and how they would treat a ferry girl."

"I'll send Hiei. You know him and he didn't do anything terrible to her last night when we left them alone together."

Botan froze, her eyes staring at Yusuke, an alarmed Hiei barely visible on the edge of her vision.

"Oh hey, good idea!" Yusuke said. "You can stay with Hiei at the motel, Botan," he continued, turning to address Botan. "I'll come get you if I need anything."

Botan opened her mouth slightly to argue, but no words came out. She had no words to say – what could she say?

"Think you can manage simple guard duty without running off, Hiei?" Mukuro said.

"Hn, it's too simple," he replied.

A glance at Hiei showed that he looked confident, but Botan was sure that he his tone had sounded a little strained as though he was suppressing something: probably anger, she thought.

The last thing she had wanted was to be forced to spend another night with him, but at least this way, at the motel, they would have their own rooms, she thought. She made a mental note to ask the desk clerk for a room at the opposite end of the building from Hiei.

"Well, now that's sorted, let's eat!" Yusuke said cheerfully, blissfully unaware of the tension around him.

Botan decided to adopt his tactics and smiled and remained cheerful throughout the meal – something she found a lot easier to do when she purposely avoided looking directly at Hiei.

**

* * *

**

Botan waited out in the hallway as Hiei entered the motel room ahead of her. The motel Mukuro had sent them to was a horrible, dirty and dingy place with intermittent and unreliable lighting in its corridors. The one elevator that serviced the four-floor building was broken – and it looked as though it had been for several years as the snapped metal cabling had long since corroded – and the stairwells were dark and hollow, every footstep echoing. The room Hiei had led Botan to was on the top floor: and mentally, as a spirit of death, she could not help but think that they were on the fourth level of a four-storey building and that four was, of course, the number of death.

"Are you going to stand out there all night, idiot?"

It was the first words Hiei had spoken to her since leaving the more luxurious hotel that morning.

"I'm waiting for you to give me the key to my room," she tightly replied.

"I didn't think it was wise to let you out of my sight," he said casually.

He had his back to her and was closing the curtains over the window, and so Botan could not tell whether or not he was making yet another of his infinitely unfunny jokes.

"I was given orders to keep you out of trouble, and the easiest way for me to do that is to keep you where I can see you," he continued. "Especially since you seem to have a penchant for getting yourself into trouble…"

"You can see me if I'm a hundred miles from you!" she protested. "Use your jagan eye, you idiot! Now give me some money so that I can get my own room!"

Botan waited expectantly but Hiei merely continued moving about the room as though he had not even heard her last words. When he threw down his cloak and kicked off his boots she started to lose her temper.

"Hiei!" she snapped.

"Get in here or sleep outside!" he snapped back.

She hurried into the room and closed the door. It was not that she wanted to share a room with him or that she felt obliged to take orders from him, but she had heard two demons approaching her out in the hallway and Hiei was sometimes quite frightening when he was angry. She slowly surveyed her surroundings, feeling less and less confident as she did so. She was standing in a small, square room with a plain double bed in the centre of it and a desk and chair by the window – which Hiei had just sat down at. She was starting to worry that her situation was actually worse than it had been the night before, but when she noticed a door beyond the desk she brightened a little and quickly moved towards it.

Beyond the door was a tiny room containing a single-unit shower cubicle, a tiny sink with only one, coldwater, tap and a toilet with an incomplete seat and no lid.

Botan backed up and closed the door. She turned around and looked down at the back of Hiei's head and then over at the bed. She knew that she ought to remain calm and think logically – it was part of ferry girl training to employ such tactics – but for some reason she was yet to fathom, being around Hiei left her anything but calm and logical, and she found herself diving at the bed. She was less than surprised when she felt Hiei's hands grab at her hips but she stubbornly held onto the bed-sheets, dragging them with her as he pulled her back.

"You can sleep on the floor," he told her, putting her on her feet a short distance from the bed.

"You should go on the floor!" she yelled.

"Hn, not this again…"

He climbed onto the bed and started to lie down but before he could complete his task, Botan hurriedly grabbed the pillows out from under him. He slowly moved himself around onto his side, holding himself up on one elbow.

"You maybe have the bed, but I have the bedding!" she said smugly.

She knelt down on the floor and began arranging the pillows and bed-sheets she had taken.

"I will have that bedding back on this bed within minutes."

Botan paused. Hiei's voice had almost sounded like the purr of a wild-cat. She slowly moved her eyes to him, the look on his face backing up her initial suspicion.

"And what's more," he continued. "I'll have you in this bed too."

Botan growled in frustration, grabbing up a pillow and hurriedly standing. She drew back her arm to launch the pillow at him, but then realised that doing so meant surrendering the pillow to him. She pulled the pillow against her chest and hugged it tightly, pouting at him before spinning on her heels to face away from him. A second later she heard a clicking sound and suddenly she found herself immersed in near total darkness. Hiei had just turned out the light, and, with the heavy curtains drawn over the window, the room was exceptionally dark: had he closed those curtains deliberately, she wondered?

She heard him moving on the bed and then the muted thump of his bare feet hitting the floor. She tensed but did not move or turn around as she heard his feet moving towards her back. She had to fight a shiver when he stopped so close to her that she could feel the heat of his body through her clothing, every inch of him as close to her as he could possibly get without actually touching her. She waited for him to say or do something, tightening her hold on the pillow in anticipation – anticipation of what, she wondered?

She whimpered softly when she felt his hands on her arms. At first the contact was light, but he slowly curled his fingers around her arms just above her elbows, his grip gradually becoming tighter. He then began to pull her arms back and she shortly felt the pillow fall from her embrace to her feet. She could feel his breath by her ear, and she realised that he was slowly leaning over her shoulder, still somehow managing to keep his body impossibly close to hers without actually touching her. She whimpered again when she felt the tip of his nose against her ear, and she found herself turning towards him, as though her body was acting on an instinct she had no control over.

Botan looked up, and even though Hiei's face was very close to hers, her eyes could not clearly make out his features through the darkness. She could, however, see that he was still moving his face closer, and again she found herself moving closer to him, despite her mind screaming at her not to. Their lips touched, lightly at first, and Botan felt something sink in her chest. She thought that it was probably her heart, abandoning her for her sins, but it was soon replaced by a flutter of pleasure and a pain of longing. She let him turn her around to face him, their lips never breaking contact as their kiss grew progressively more passionate.

It was terrible, it was awful and it was wrong: but, Botan wondered, was it any more wrong the second time around? She had already taken that step and done it once, was it really any worse if she did it a second time? She was already suffering from the guilt, shame and humiliation, she might as well have the brief and incomparable joy that came with it.

**

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**

**Next Chapter:** More filth, more fighting and maybe some plot. **Chapter 6 – Morning After**

**A/N:** Updates are slow, I know, but the bad weather here is really getting me down and I'm travelling a lot (I go away again next week for 4 days, so no updates during the week next week).

I appreciate all reviews, and I promise this isn't just a PWP fic!


	6. Morning After

**Recap:** I don't remember. There was probably lots of sex. Here is some more.

**

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**

**Chapter 6: Morning After**

Hiei awoke with a grunt as something jabbed him in the gut. It was a less than pleasant way to wake up, but he had been awoken by worse and more violent means. He opened his eyes and tightened his grip on the ferry girl who was in the process of trying to wriggle free of him. She sounded like she was close to tears or perhaps already crying. He supposed she was going to pretend to be full of regret and wracked with guilt again, which he supposed was an act she felt she had to put on to justify her un-ferry girl-like behaviour.

The night before they had done nothing more explicit or involved than they had the night before that: it was just touching. The only two differences between the first time they had laid down together and the second were that this time Hiei had not waited for her to fall asleep afterwards and then left her bed and they had brought each other to climax twice the night before.

"Please let me go."

Her voice was faint and pitiful. He wondered if she even knew that he was awake. He also wondered why she was burdening herself with so much unnecessary guilt.

"I have to go to the toilet!" she said, her voice a little clearer and more determined.

Hiei sighed and released her. She shot out of the bed with surprising speed and agility for a ferry girl. She was shaking all over as she tried to pick up her clothes and when she saw him watching her she squealed and darted across the room to the bathroom, locking herself in there. He scowled at the door, half-expecting to hear her start retching or crying. He decided to let her do whatever she needed to until she had calmed down, but after that he intended to tell her exactly what he thought about her bipolar behaviour. He was mildly surprised and slightly pleased to hear that she did not vomit or sob in the bathroom and that it did just seem as though she was using the toilet as she had said she was going to. But, when she flushed the toilet and then loitered in the room, Hiei's minimal patience faded.

He threw aside the bed-sheets and crossed the room, collecting his sword. He drew it out and threw aside the scabbard. He heard the ferry girl gasp as it clattered against the ground, but he continued regardless. He already knew that she was too neurotic to open the door if he asked her to, and he was not in the habit of pleading with anyone for anything, and so he simply stabbed the blade between the door and door-frame and pried the locked door open forcibly, ignoring the increasingly desperate and offensive remarks the ferry girl issued about his actions throughout.

Once he had the door open he threw his sword away to one side and took a step towards her.

"Stop!" she said, holding up one hand to halt his advance.

She had a towel clutched by her chest with her other hand, but as she was still shaking and only holding it in place with the one hand, it was doing little to preserve her dignity.

"You accused me of trashing the last hotel room at Mukuro's expense, but look at what you've just done at Yusuke's expense!" she said, waving her hand at the damaged door.

"Well I guess this makes us even," he answered her.

"Getting even like this is even more childish and idiotic!" she replied.

He hooked his fingers over the top of the door-frame in a casual gesture. He distinctly saw her eyes wander over the full length of his body, her face flickering slightly as she realised that, unlike her with her towel, he was not trying to hide his nakedness. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and her chest began to heave. When her eyes reached his again he clearly saw the dilation of her pupils and the slight upwards tilt of the inner corners of her eyebrows: she was aroused, she was ashamed and she already knew that she would succumb to him again, then and there.

"Let's just agree to stop trying to one-up each other," she suggested, wiping aside a stray strand of cotton blue hair that had fallen over her face.

She was trying to be civil. She was trying to make things simple. But Hiei was not about to let that happen: things were a lot more fun as long as they were complicated and awkward. But, as she was a nervous and mouthy fool, he had to be sure before he pushed her any further.

"I know you won't tell Yusuke about this, but I don't want you blabbing to Mukuro either," he said.

"What?" she echoed, looking genuinely surprised.

"You need to accept this for what it is and forget your guilt," he explained. "Otherwise it will consume you, and one day you will go running to Mukuro to confess your sins. If you keep quiet about this, I might even be willing to make it a regular thing."

She looked horrified and disgusted, but when Hiei slid his hands from the door-frame, putting one on the small of her back and grabbing her towel with the other, her expression softened and she let him take the towel from her without even a hint of resistance. He carefully pushed her back into the shower cubicle, and when she started to complain about space and routines he turned the water on and pinned her against the tiles, ravaging her neck with kisses, her words dissolving into moans of protest that in turn quickly changed into moans of pleasure.

She felt a little tense against him but when her hands grabbed onto the wrist of his free hand and pushed it down to where she wanted it to be she confirmed his suspicions that she was willing, and that her only concerns were the guilt and the shame she was bound to laden herself with afterwards. And although she was not nearly strong enough to control his movements in any way, he relaxed his arm and let her manoeuvre his hand between her legs. He smiled to himself as his fingers were met with heat and a wetness that belied her outwards objections to his attentions. Looking at her face he saw that she was still keeping her eyes shut – presumably because she was still trying to justify what they were doing by pretending that he was Yusuke – but the way she was biting at her lip and her head was tilting back he could see that already, with only the lightest of touches, he was getting the desired response from her.

It was as though she was starting to anticipate his touches and the way they would make her feel.

Hiei hated the thought of anyone thinking that they could predict him or that they understood what he was capable of, and so he decided that now was the time to push the ferry girl a little bit further. He had known from the beginning that he could not rush her into full intercourse straight away, because she was a virgin and because she was so entrenched in her belief that laying down with him was a sin and the ultimate crime for a denizen of spirit world like herself, but he was confident that he could push her to it gradually. And so, to test just how far he could push her then and there, he moved his hands to the backs of her thighs, grinning again when she let out a disappointed moan at the loss of contact where she needed his touch, and he lifted her from the ground, hooking her legs around his waist. She seemed not to care about what he was doing at first, but he kept her eyes on her face to gauge her reaction as he slowly let her weight slide her downwards. He had to fight to keep his movements slow and steady when he began to feel the heat radiating off of her against the aching tip of his penis, and his fight became even harder when her wet folds came into contact with him at last and she let out a soft moan and she leaned closer to him, her forehead resting against his.

Hiei paused until he was confident that he had his urges in check before continuing. Instinct told him to tug her down hard and sheath his entire length within her, but he knew that if he did that he would hurt her and she would not let him near her again – and although he was not really interested in her, she was a very pleasant and welcome distraction for the next few days while Mukuro did whatever she was doing with Yusuke. He carefully began lowering the ferry girl again, and she began to whimper and groan, at first in the same pleased way she usually did, but, as he pressed harder against her, parting and stretching her tender flesh, her tone changed and her fingernails bit into his skin. He continued pulling her down, almost managing to get the entire head of his penis inside her, but when she let out a stuttered cry of alarm and her face contorted he stopped. He had not quite gone far enough to breach her sacred purity, but another inch probably would have been enough to do so. She gripped at his shoulders and tried to push herself up again, and he took this as a sign that she was going to need a little more convincing than he had thought before he could push her as far as he wanted to.

Hiei sighed and lifted the ferry girl back up and secured her legs high around his waist. He saw the creases in her face fade and she rested her forehead against his again with a sigh, putting her arms around his shoulders. It was not the position he had been hoping to manoeuvre her into but he found himself pausing there, as it actually felt quite nice to just let her cling onto him. It was surprising to him that he would be satisfied to let anyone hang onto him the way this ferry girl was, but not as surprising as the fact that she was the one who ended the moment: she groaned and wriggled her hips as though in an attempt to rub herself against him, which was clearly a sign that she wanted more. It was enough to bring Hiei back to his senses and he unwrapped her legs from around himself and lowered her to her feet.

She still had her eyes closed, but the frown on her face was a confused one. He wanted to tell her to open her damn eyes, but he knew that the sound of his voice or her seeing his face would probably break the spell she put herself under in order to justify their little trysts, so he forced himself to tolerate it and focussed his attention instead on moving her into the position he wanted her in. He turned her around, and she made a noise of confusion and stumbled slightly, but otherwise seemed to trust his actions. He then put one hand on her thigh to keep her legs in place and put his other hand on the back of her neck and began pushing forwards. At first she did not try to resist, but as she began to double over he felt her push back against his hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Sh," he answered her.

"Don't shush me, explain what you're-ah!"

Hiei pushed harder, the realisation that the time for being gentle and considerate was past dawning on him. He bent her fully over and then grabbed the insides of her thighs, pulling outwards. She slid her feet apart but started to straighten up again, forcing him to push her head down again. Obviously she was not exactly happy about being bent over and fully exposed to him, but he had thought that she might grow to like her current position, as it meant she did not have to look at him whether she kept her eyes shut or not. She eventually held her position, but made a sound that suggested she wanted to cry. Ignoring her protests, Hiei carefully touched the tip of his erection against her entrance, having to steel himself again to stop himself from thrusting up into her. She whimpered warily but the noises she was making soon changed and her body relaxed as he slid himself along the length of her flesh. She even let out a small cry of delight when he pressed against her tender and hardened nub.

With a great effort, Hiei slid himself back and then slid forwards again, grinding his length against her. Until she was ready to let him penetrate her, it was the closest he could get to actually having sex with her, and a nicely efficient way of stimulating them both with the illusion of full sex. It was also, however, a game that was very difficult for him to play, and it became increasing difficult as they both got increasingly aroused. She began to relax more, her flesh becoming warmer, wetter and swollen. He bit his lip as his member tripped slightly as it passed her entrance. He was getting harder and thicker, the angle of his erection straightening, making it more difficult to stop himself from inadvertently entering her increasingly widening and inviting opening. He leaned forwards slightly to adjust his angle, hooking his arms around her hips to hold her steady and reducing his chances of accidentally turning their little game into something more serious.

Hiei grunted and tried not to squeeze the ferry girl against him. She felt surprisingly good, better than he had expected or would ever dare admit to. As he continued to push against her, her felt her tender, swollen flesh twitching in pleasure against him, he felt her body doing things he doubted she knew it could: her folds were enveloping his girth and suckering onto him, and every time his tip passed her entrance he could feel her body trying to pull him in. Maybe her mind was unwilling, but her body was more than ready for him. He thought about what it would be like to go all the way with her: and that thought made his body tighten in a way that told him he was already close to climaxing, after just minutes of rubbing against her. He pulled one arm from around her and smacked his hand against the tiles to steady himself as he continued to drive them both to the point of release whilst fighting not to drive himself straight into her. A few more strained thrusts and she began to cry out, the tightening of her warmth against his length pushing him over the edge shortly after, and after a few unrestrained, desperate jerks of his hips he stopped altogether, leaning over her back and relaxing as best he could.

They stayed in that position for some time, the shower still beating down on them, their genitals still joined in a hot, wet and sticky mess. He eventually pulled himself from her and pulled her up to stand straight, but she seemed even more unsteady than he felt, and he soon found her walking into his chest and before he could tell her what an idiot she was they were suddenly hugging each other, leaning on each other and holding each other steady.

It was a little stifling, but Hiei tolerated it as best he could until he had finished sweating and his legs were more certain beneath him.

As soon as he had calmed, Hiei became aware of how naked the ferry girl was, how much of her was squashed against him, how soft she was and how perfect she felt wet.

He growled out a sigh of frustration as his body betrayed him, his member twitching with renewed life. He focussed his mind and managed to stop it from stiffening up again, but it took a great amount of effort – and focussing on containing his urges became easier when she pushed back from him and lifted her head, her eyes meeting his and a dreamy smile on her face, which lasted only a second before she was once more overtaken by that look of horrified guilt she kept burdening herself with.

"I don't even like you…" she said faintly.

"Hn, I don't care," he coldly replied.

"I don't know who I hate more right now," she said, her eyes watering slightly. "You or me!"

She pushed past him and fled the bathroom, diving under the bed-sheets and concealing herself beneath them completely.

"Idiot…" Hiei groaned.

**

* * *

**

Botan stood patiently by the door as Hiei locked it. She thought that she was doing a good job of keeping a straight face and holding her head high, but the way Hiei was avoiding looking at her made her think otherwise.

Every time he touched her it felt better than the time before, but immediately afterwards she felt worse. It was like she was trading a little piece of her soul for every moment of ecstasy she let him take her to. She was, almost literally, making deals with a devil, and it had to stop. For the sake of her sanity, to salvage her dignity, to keep her from expulsion from spirit world and – most importantly – to avoid Yusuke ever finding out, it had to stop.

But she already knew that if Hiei so much as looked her in the eye again, she would be out of her clothes and writhing against him in a heartbeat.

Hiei spun the keys over his fingers and thrust them into his pocket before walking along the corridor. Botan followed him at a distance of five paces, as though she were his concubine, her head titled slightly downwards and her eyes sore with unshed tears. She was so confused, and only two things were clear in her mind: she loved Yusuke beyond all reason and her need for Hiei was insatiable. She was trying to keep pretending that Hiei was actually Yusuke when he was touching her, but it was quickly becoming difficult to fake, because, even with her eyes closed, the differences between the two were too great to overlook. She could feel that it was Hiei's demon energy, she could smell that it was Hiei – he still had that same, distinctive aroma of warm ashes, metal and a forest – and she could hear that it was Hiei every time he so much as grunted. And the two were quite physically different too: Yusuke was lean and flexible and Hiei was just big. All over. So much so, it was often hard for Botan to remember that he was the same little uptight fire demon who had once been the bane of her life. And, as she was learning very rapidly, Yusuke and Hiei took a very different approach to the opposite sex: Yusuke was cheeky, prone to perversion in a humorous way though sometimes a little awkward; whereas Hiei was frighteningly confident, intense and also prone to perversion – but in a completely different way.

As they began descending the stairs in the dank and dirty stairwell, Botan noticed that the way Hiei moved had not changed. He was a lot taller and bulkier and obviously as such he covered more ground with every stride and occasionally had to duck in places he would not have been bothered by before, but he still walked the same slightly stiff and unhurried way. It seemed strange to her because Yusuke walked with something of a rolling strut, holding his head at an almost insolent angle, and she had always thought that it had been fitting of his character. Hiei, however, walked like he was quietly confident and ready to slaughter something at any moment – which was perhaps a fair reflection of his character – but it seemed to Botan that someone with Hiei's sexual prowess ought to be moving in an arrogant swagger and constantly smiling.

Botan shook her head in a small shiver, and her action did not go unnoticed by Hiei, who had reached the bottom of the stairs and was stopped there looking back up at her.

"I had something in my ear," she lied as their eyes met.

He frowned slightly.

"Probably just a draft of air from the…" she added, waving a hand at a hole in the wall that was letting in daylight.

"You should be careful with that," he replied.

Botan slowed to a halt one step up from him.

"Air blowing in your ear," he continued. "Isn't your head already full to capacity with air?"

Botan growled and clenched her fists and bared her teeth. She was almost glad that Hiei kept being such a nasty bastard because it reminded her to hate him and it helped her put aside the niggling feelings of attraction she was starting to suffer from when she was furious and offended.

"Try to keep up," he said as he turned from her.

"You're supposed to be my bodyguard, you can't just run off and leave me anyway!" she pointed out, following after him as he moved on.

"Conserve your energy by shutting up," he suggested.

Botan started to retaliate with a childish remark, but as she realised that Hiei was leading her towards the hotel entrance she then began to grow confused.

"Where are we going, anyway?" she asked. "I don't remember agreeing a meeting place with Yusuke…"

"That's because you didn't agree a meeting place with Yusuke," he flatly replied. "You were too busy simpering up to him to think so logically. Luckily for you, I agreed a meeting place with Mukuro."

"Oh, you and Mukuro are just so sensible and mature!" Botan sneered, before sticking out her tongue at the back of Hiei's head.

"We are a lot more sensible and mature than you and Yusuke," he answered. "And we're also a lot more likely to succeed…"

Botan stopped short. She felt like she had been punched in the gut. Hiei insulting her was one thing, but his blatant dismissal of her and Yusuke together as nothing more than ridiculous was unbearable. She swallowed hard and pushed back tears, tightening her jaws and stomping after him, determined to just get back to Yusuke and away from Hiei for the day.

Outside of the motel Botan witnessed a sequence of things which ended with a tear slipping from one of her eyes despite her feeling less tearful than she had inside the motel: first of all, only Mukuro was waiting outside to meet them, secondly Hiei was giving her a strange look as Mukuro said something to him and finally she spotted Yusuke, some distance away, tangled up in the arms of an unreasonably attractive demon girl.

"It can wait," she heard Hiei say.

"No, it can't," Mukuro answered him sternly.

"Yes it can," Hiei spat back. "Or if it's urgent, send one of your lesser drones to do it."

"You're here with me, I'm your superior, and I'm telling you to do it," she said.

Botan was vaguely aware that their conversation seemed interesting, but almost all of her attention was focused on Yusuke, who was unwinding the girl's arms from around his neck. He said something to her before leaning forwards and kissing her briefly on the lips. She smiled and skipped back from him, and they both waved at each other. The girl walked off in the other direction and Yusuke began jogging towards Mukuro and Hiei.

"Where the hell was he last night?" Botan heard Hiei ask Mukuro.

"I don't know," Mukuro replied. "We bumped into some friends of his and I called it a night after that. This is the first time I've seen him since: he didn't come back to the hotel last night."

Botan slowly gripped a hand at her kimono by her heart, a strange sense of relief passing over her when she felt it softly beating against her knuckles.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Yusuke said as he joined Hiei and Mukuro.

He looked at each of them in turn and then grinned that cocky grin Botan had been thinking about just minutes earlier back inside the motel.

"But at least I'm not the last one here!" he said. "Where's Botan, Hiei? Don't tell me she had another "violent allergic reaction" to her pillow?"

Yusuke started to laugh, but stopped again as he finally noticed Botan standing by the motel doors.

"Hey, there you are!" he said. "What are you standing over there for? Let's go!"

Botan made no effort to move. She knew that even the slightest movement of any kind would tip the balance she had currently struck and cause her to burst into tears and become quite humiliatingly irrational.

"Hey, Botan!" Yusuke called over. "Come on! What are you hanging around there for? Let's go!"

Botan felt her bottom lip start to quiver and she quickly sucked it into her mouth to hold it steady.

"We have to go back to the living world to run an errand," he added. "Get your oar."

"You didn't go back to the living world last night?" Mukuro asked him.

"No I was uh… Kinda busy with something else last night…"

Yusuke grinned sheepishly at Mukuro who was glaring at him in a way Botan might have found frightening if she had not been so blinded by misery.

"I thought you would have at least sent a message there last night," Mukuro said. "This is important."

"I just had to do something else even more important," he replied. "But I'm on it now."

"We have other things to do today," she reminded him.

"Then I could just send Botan back to the living world."

Yusuke's remark was not unkind or even unexpected to Botan, but for some reason hearing him say it made her lose control of her emotions. She spun around and charged back into the motel, running blindly along a corridor, dodging past a trolley of laundry as she went. She only stopped when she reached the stairwell, where she took herself into the darkened gap beneath the stairs and sat down hard, burying her face into her hands and letting herself cry.

She had, over the years, become an expert at hiding her sadness. She was proud to say that, with the exception of Shizuru, nobody had ever seen her cry – and even Shizuru had only seen her cry twice: the first time being during the Dark Tournament over Genkai's death and the second time being around the time of Keiko's wedding. She doubted anyone would find her where she was (assuming anyone even bothered to look) and if they did, she was nicely concealed in the shadows and would have time to compose herself if she heard someone coming. And so she decided to remain where she was until the tears stopped or someone came to find her.

She was growing weary of feeling that way. For Botan, it was infuriating and beyond comprehension that Yusuke was still so besotted with Keiko and yet he did, from time to time, have little flings with the first pretty girl in a mini-skirt who glanced his way. If he was able to be with someone else at all, why was he not with her? He wasted his time with women who usually left him slightly less wealthy and even more withdrawn and saddened at his lack of a loyal lover at his side, and yet he seemed to be totally blind to Botan's dogged devotion at his side. The only way she could make any sense of it was to tell herself that one of two things was happening inside Yusuke's head: either he was genuinely ignorant of her feelings or he knew exactly how she felt and was trying to kindly reject her. Botan could never decide which scenario was worse.

Sometimes she thought that he did know. Sometimes she thought that Yusuke knew exactly how she felt about him and exactly how long she had felt that way. Sometimes she thought that he was disgusted by it, especially when he would periodically insist that she return to spirit world. It made him feel awkward around her. He thought she was stupid and frivolous. He laughed at her when she was not around. Her silly crush on him was a joke he enjoyed with his friends. He kept talking to her about his feelings for Keiko because he wanted to make her realise that she would never be as good as Keiko and she would never be good enough for him. What she thought was her best-kept secret was really known by everyone, and they were all laughing at her because she was so pathetic and unlovable. Or at least, that was sometimes how it all felt, and this was one of those times.

Botan's head snapped up as she heard the door to the stairwell bang shut. She had not heard it open, and she was furious at herself for not having detected someone approaching. She hurriedly wiped her sleeves at her face to clear her tears and sniffed as quietly as she could before standing up and straightening out her clothes. She stepped out from under the stairwell and was so surprised at what she saw she froze on the spot: behind her, through the banister of the stairs, Hiei was sitting on the second step up, his head facing forwards.

"Forget something from the room?" she asked him.

"There's no dignity in what you're doing, you know," he said without turning to look at her.

Her eyes started to blur again and her chest tightened: though she could not decide if it was sadness or anger that was making her shake all over.

"Aren't soul collectors meant to be a little more resilient than to sit under a staircase and cry pathetically over something so trivial?" he asked.

"You don't understand, you heartless monster!" she wailed, not even bothering to try to stop the tears that welled up and spilled from her eyes. "This isn't the first time he's done that, and I can't stand to see it!"

"He has needs only that sort of woman can fulfil," Hiei calmly replied.

"But it's wrong! Why does he have to be with someone like that when I'm right here? That sort of woman is just using him, but I love him! It should have been me he was with last night!"

Hiei's head snapped around and he looked suddenly angry, though Botan did not really care why.

"Are you really that stupid?" he snapped. "If that had been you he was with last night, you wouldn't still be here this morning!"

"…What?" Botan muttered.

"You say you're in love with him, but what he does with those women isn't love," Hiei said firmly. "If that had been you, he would have used you until he felt better about himself and then cast you aside. Is that what you want? I was under the impression you wanted eternal devotion, not a one-night stand!"

Botan felt even more confused than before: but her confusion was over-riding her sadness, which was something of a relief.

"Think about it, idiot," Hiei continued. "If you were to lay down with Yusuke every time he felt the need to forget about his human woman for one night, one of two things would happen to you: either he would have his way with you once and never want to see you again or else he would keep using you to satisfy his own moments of weakness, and only when he felt miserable enough to lay down with you would you ever receive any affection from him. Is that really what you want? There maybe isn't any dignity in pining after someone who doesn't want you back, but becoming nothing more than someone else's outlet for pent-up misery is a soulless existence and even an idiot like you should be trying for a better life than that."

Botan narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't look at me like that, idiot," he scoffed. "You know I'm right."

"I don't know if I want to punch you or thank you," she stiffly replied. "I think you might have said something nice, but you said it in a very rude way."

"I'm not here to molly-coddle your mood-swings, idiot," he said.

He stood up and walked around the end of the banister and she turned to face him.

"At least I was honest with you," he said quietly.

She nodded and lowered her eyes, no longer wanting to look him in the face. She knew that he was telling her the truth, but the truth hurt and at that moment, she wanted to hear false hope that would ease the pain – though she knew that it would only be temporary.

"Stop crying."

Botan tensed as he lightly brushing the backs of his fingers over her cheek, wiping away a tear that had been trickling down her face.

"Why, because it's "undignified" to feel emotions?" she asked bitterly, looking up at him.

"No," he replied, his face so completely emotionless she almost felt afraid of him. "Because it doesn't suit a chipper idiot like you."

Of all the answers she had been expecting, that was certainly not one of them. Botan had actually expected Hiei to say something contentious and for them to start arguing again. His face was still blank and unreadable, and she could not decide what that meant either.

"Don't hide in the shadows like that," he added. "I don't like it."

Botan opened her mouth to ask him what he meant but he started to briskly walk away, and, for a lack of anything better to do, she followed him.

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**Next Chapter:** Hiei and Botan go to the living world to perform Mukuro's errand, and while there they meet up with some old friends, including smug Kurama and clueless Kuwabara. And there's probably more porn in there too. **Chapter 7: Lovelier the Second Time**

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**A/N: **There was actually some plot in this chapter – if you blinked, you might have missed it. It was near the end somewhere.

This fic guarantees to have at least at one instance of something sexual in every chapter (from chapter 4 onwards). I'm making up for all the restraining I did in my last two fics.

Thanks for the reviews. MystiKoorime, ReaperDemon and hieinbotan637, I think you three are the only three people reading this…?


	7. Lovelier the Second Time

**Recap:** Lots of perverse stuff happened, and then there was a sprinkling of plot, and this fic threatened to deserve to be called a "hurt/comfort" fic.

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**Chapter 7: Lovelier the Second Time**

As they walked the long corridor together, Botan silently wondered why she could hear her own footsteps clattering against the wooden floor but not Hiei's. She was glad – though also very surprised – that Hiei had suggested that he should go to the living world with her instead of Yusuke, as it had saved her the awkwardness of having to make small talk with Yusuke when she was still raw and upset about his misdemeanours of the night before. Hiei had not said anything to her since his unusual words back in the stairwell of the motel, and they had journeyed back to the living world separately, him running and her flying on her oar. They had joined up again silently and with only a brief glance directly at each other by the entrance of the Faculty of Biology on the campus of Kyoto University and continued their journey into the building in silence.

Hiei seemed to know where he was going. Botan had never visited the university; although she had already known that it was where they would find the person they now sought. She supposed Hiei knew where he was going because of his jagan eye, though she did wonder if he had ever visited the university before that day. She believed that Hiei had not had contact with any of his one-time allies over the last thirty or so years, but she was prepared to be proved wrong that day, something she felt was even more likely when he turned suddenly and flung open a door marked "Professor of Botanical Sciences" and boldly marched into the room beyond. Botan scurried after him, her eyes widening slightly when she noticed that the door had collided with, and knocked over, a coat-stand.

"Hiei and Botan, what brings the two of you here today?"

Botan turned from the fallen mess of wood, coat, umbrella and scarf to the desk at the other side of the room, where she saw nothing but a large newspaper and a hand on either side of it holding it open.

"You have obligations in demon world," Hiei bluntly replied.

The paper folded over and lowered to the desk, revealing a curious face behind it. Botan could not stop herself from smiling in amusement as Hiei flinched back in surprise at what he saw. That reaction, she supposed, was indicative that Hiei had not even had contact with Kurama during the thirty years since the demon world tournament, as he looked genuinely shocked to see that Kurama was now a grey-haired man in glasses.

"It's nice to see you again too," Kurama said, removing his glasses. "It's been a long time. I trust you are well?"

He folded over his glasses and slid them into the top pocket of his shirt, arching his eyebrows expectantly at Hiei.

"I don't have time for this," Hiei said in a low voice.

"Things have been quite peaceful here actually, thanks for asking," Kurama said.

Hiei growled and bared his teeth and Kurama smiled sympathetically.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"Mukuro and Yusuke need to discuss something with you," Hiei replied.

"I see," Kurama said with a nod of his head. "Urgently?"

"Yes," Hiei replied.

"No," Botan said.

Hiei turned to glare at her but she ignored him.

"It can wait," she continued.

"Well good, I have work to do here," Kurama said.

He then ran his eyes over Botan before moving them to Hiei and smiling a strange, knowing smile that made even Botan feel uncomfortable.

"Something amusing?" Hiei spat.

"I was just wondering when it was that the efficiency of Mukuro's camp became so lax," Kurama replied. "After all, how many bodies does it take to deliver a simple message?"

Botan had no idea what Kurama meant but apparently Hiei did as he growled again, his lips lifting higher and exposing almost every tooth in his head.

"You look well," Kurama continued. "Finally decided to drink your milk and eat your vitamins, I see."

Kurama lifted up his newspaper and hid himself behind it, but not before Botan saw the smirk on his face.

"Hn, big words from an old man!" Hiei spat back.

"Yes…" Kurama sighed. "You know, they say it's lovelier the second time around."

Botan frowned, glancing at Hiei and feeling slightly relieved to see that he looked as confused as she felt.

"I don't know what you're talking about, fox!" he said to Kurama.

"Love," Kurama replied.

He folded down the pages of his newspaper to look over the top of them. Botan flinched when he fixed his gaze on her.

"They say that love is lovelier the second time around," he said.

Botan frowned again, but when Kurama slowly and purposefully moved his eyes to Hiei she suddenly realised exactly what he meant: with the exception of Hiei, Kurama was the only person who knew that she was harbouring feelings of unrequited love for Yusuke, and clearly he now thought that she had switched her affections to Hiei.

"Oh no!" she said hurriedly. "It's not like that! We're not…"

She turned to Hiei, who looked confused.

"It's not…" she tried again.

"These things have a way of working themselves out," Kurama said.

Botan froze. He had said those very same words to her only three days previously at Keiko's daughter's wedding, and, just as she had not really understood him then, she definitely did not understand him now.

"I'm waiting four hours," Hiei told him. "After that, I return to demon world. If you're not with me, someone else will come for you, someone a lot less patient than me!"

Kurama made a small noise that could have been stifled laughter, but as he was once more hidden behind his newspaper it was difficult to tell. Hiei muttered a curse and turned, marching out of the office. Botan took one last look over at Kurama's newspaper before hurrying after Hiei.

"I think he was mocking us in there!" she said as she skipped along at his side to keep pace with him. "He wasn't really reading that newspaper: he didn't put his reading glasses back on!"

"He's a fool," Hiei grumbled.

"Well I don't appreciate his jokes," Botan complained. "And now I'm stuck alone with you for the next four hours with nothing to do…"

Hiei turned his head slightly to look down at Botan at his side. She looked up at him for as long as she could stand to before her face started to burn and she had to turn away. Why was he looking at her like that?

"I might go and visit… Yukina," she said, picking a name she was sure Hiei would not want to follow her to.

"Yukina," Hiei echoed. "I haven't seen her in person since I left the living world to join Mukuro."

"Well, are you in for a surprise!" Botan said. "You won't believe it when you see her–"

Botan stopped abruptly as she found herself looking up at Hiei again. Why was she inviting him to join her when the whole point of her going to see Yukina was to get away from him?

"I see her all the time," Hiei answered, touching a finger to the faint crease along his forehead that was the closed lids of his jagan eye. "I just haven't seen her in person."

"Stalking her from a distance, how delightful…" Botan muttered.

"What was that, idiot?" he snapped.

"If you've been watching her, I suppose you'll know what she looks like now," she said, ignoring his question. "I saw her at… Recently, I saw her recently, and I was shocked at how she looks now. She's so tall and so beautiful."

"And she still wastes all of her time in the company of that oaf Kuwabara, who is uglier and more absurd than ever."

"I think it's wonderfully romantic that they are still so in love with each other despite time having changed them both so much! Their love is strong and true, and we could all learn a lesson from them."

"Hn, you would say that. You only feel that way because you can sympathise with Kuwabara. Just like him, you are an idiot who invested years running circles around a demon you were hopelessly in love with, who saw you as little more than a doting friend. But, unlike you, Kuwabara's efforts were at least rewarded."

"You're an insensitive jerk!"

Botan summoned her oar and quickened her pace, exiting the building ahead of Hiei.

"I never rub it in your face that Mukuro doesn't want you!" she spat back at Hiei as she mounted her oar.

"That's because, unlike Yusuke with you, Mukuro does want me," he casually replied.

"Oh really?" Botan sneered. "Then why are you sharing a bed with me instead of her?"

"Because of Mukuro's status as a ruler in demon world. It's political, I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"I thought you were her second-in-command and heir? Doesn't that make you like her queen?"

Hiei pulled a face at Botan, who then realised her mistake, but decided not to bother correcting herself.

"Where I come from, kings and queens share a bed, Hiei!" she continued.

"Where you come from all the women are idiots who fly around on oars and the men consist of a hairy giant, a brat in training pants and fanged, horned idiots in loincloths."

Botan paused. Hiei maybe had a good point.

"Change the subject all you want, the fact still remains that you and Mukuro are not together!" she said moodily.

She then shot up into the air before Hiei could retaliate and took off towards Sarayashki city with the intent of finding Yukina and Kuwabara. At least passing the next four hours with those two would be a pleasant use of her time.

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Botan hopped off her oar and banished it before proceeding through the garden gate and towards the front door of the simple but homely house she had recently learned was Kuwabara's. She knocked on the door and waited for a response, drawing in a breath to enjoy the scents around her of freshly cut grass and a variety of garden flowers. She heard the birds singing and a wind chime softly playing a disjointed melody as a light breeze played through it, and then she heard a thump behind her that made her jerk in surprise, and suddenly the door ahead of her was cast into shadow.

Botan slowly looked back over her shoulder, her eyes looking first at the still violently swaying branches of the tall sakura tree by one corner of the garden before moving to the bulky being behind her that was blocking out the sunlight.

"Hn, you took long enough to get here," Hiei greeted her. "I fell asleep waiting for you."

Botan groaned and turned away from him, pulling faces of disgust until the door opened and Yukina appeared before her.

"Yukina!" she said brightly, breaking into a smile.

"Botan!" Yukina replied, looking more startled than seemed necessary. "What a surprise!"

"I was just passing by and thought I would pay you a visit," Botan replied.

Yukina's face changed slightly and Botan laughed awkwardly.

"I felt a little guilty when I saw you at the wedding a few days ago, it made me realise I should be visiting my friends a lot more," she explained.

"Oh… Well, do come in!"

Yukina stepped back to let Botan pass. Botan bowed her head in thanks and walked into the house before turning around to watch what Hiei would do. She had not expected him to follow her to Yukina and Kuwabara, but she was absolutely sure that he would not want to pay a social call to his estranged sister and his least favourite human.

"And Mister Hiei!" Yukina said as she was left peering round the door at him. "My goodness, I didn't expect to see you ever again – I mean today."

Yukina blushed slightly and lowered her head, her still blackened hair spilling over the sides of her face to hide most of her embarrassment.

"Mister Hiei wasn't invited to the wedding," Botan explained to Yukina. "He never gets invited to anything, because nobody expects him to come and because he's such miserable company. But he was oddly interested in seeing you again, Yukina. I really can't imagine why…"

Hiei growled at her but silenced himself when Yukina looked directly at him again.

"Will you come in, Mister Hiei?" she asked him.

He grunted something indecipherable and stomped over the threshold, nodding at Yukina and glowering angrily at Botan, who smiled sweetly in response. Yukina closed the door behind him and turned around.

"Kazuma!" she called out. "We have guests!"

She smiled at Botan and Hiei in turn and Botan used her gesture as an excuse to grin as she heard movement in another part of the house. She was looking forward to the inevitable awkwardness when Kuwabara was reunited with Hiei, and the fact that, for once, Hiei was going to be the one looking stupid instead of her.

"Oh hey, Botan!" Kuwabara said as he appeared in the hallway. "You decided to come and see the place at la–oh God no!"

Kuwabara staggered back into the doorframe as he sighted Hiei, the resultant force of his collision knocking a picture from the wall. He looked terrified at first, but fear shortly gave way to curiosity, and he slowly crept towards. He stopped a few steps away from Hiei and slowly looked back and forth between Hiei and Yukina. Botan copied his actions and her grin widened: as Yukina had her hair black, the resemblance between the siblings was quite striking.

"You found Yukina's brother, Botan?" Kuwabara asked, his eyes still on Hiei as he spoke.

"Idiot," Hiei growled. "Not only has your physical strength waned but I see your mental strength has also faded with time – which is really saying something, considering you were always stupid."

Kuwabara slowly tilted his head, his eyebrows drawing together into a frown.

"Kuwabara, don't you remember Mister Hiei?" Yukina asked.

Kuwabara's head straightened again, his eyebrows lifted and his jaw dropped.

"I missed you too," Hiei spat out.

"Hiei?" Kuwabara said quietly.

"Yes," Hiei replied.

"Little Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes!" Hiei snapped.

"Tiny little Hiei?"

"Don't piss me off…"

"But the last time I saw you, you needed Kurama to fetch your milk from the top shelf of the fridge!"

Hiei gave him a withering look.

"Did-did Kurama plant you in a grow-bag for thirty years?"

Hiei started to growl.

"Have you been on one of those medieval stretching racks all this time?"

Hiei's top lip curled upwards, exposing his teeth and turning his growl into a snarl.

"Is this a joke? Was this Urameshi's idea?"

Kuwabara started to grin and he boldly marched forwards a few steps, closing the distance between himself and Hiei.

"This is a joke, isn't it?" he said. "You're not really Hiei! I bet you're one of those bald monk friends of Yusuke's and this is just a wig!"

Kuwabara grabbed two handfuls of Hiei's hair and tried to pull upwards. Yukina gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth and, as Hiei's energy began to flare, the heat literally radiating off of him and warming the air, Botan decided to step in. After all, she noted, her earlier assumptions had been correct: Hiei was now slightly taller than Kuwabara, and whereas Kuwabara's physical frame had withered slightly over the years, Hiei's had inflated quite impressively, and Botan was sure that Hiei's increase in size had also led to an increase in his powers.

"Kuwabara, stop it!" she said sharply.

Kuwabara slowly opened out his fists, the colour draining from his face.

"It really is Hiei?" he asked faintly, his eyes on Hiei as he spoke.

"Yes it is," Botan replied. "I was just as surprised as you are: I thought he was always going to be able to get into the cinema for half price, but I suppose he just grew."

"So was he a just a little kid when he used to work with us?" Kuwabara asked, his eyes still on Hiei.

"Yes," Botan replied – though she was unsure how true that actually was. "Which is probably why he was always behaving like a little kid when he used to work with us."

Hiei cast her a vicious glare but she was glad of it, as it indicated that his anger at Kuwabara was lessening, which was the real point of her interference.

"I thought maybe he was Yukina's brother," Kuwabara said. "He kinda looked a bit like her before, but now I can see that he's Hiei and I know it's not true."

"Well alright then," Botan said, smiling at Yukina. "Maybe we should all sit down somewhere?"

"Of course," Yukina agreed. "This way."

Yukina walked on ahead of the others and Botan moved to join her, Hiei and then finally Kuwabara following them.

"Isn't it weird that Yukina and Hiei both got tall?" Kuwabara commented.

Botan glanced over her shoulder and she was sure that she saw a bead of sweat forming by one of Hiei's temples, but he kept his nervousness in check.

"I can't believe I thought they looked alike…" Kuwabara muttered to himself. "I guess the red eyes and the black hair confused me… Man, I really need to get my eyes tested…"

"What brings you both to the living world?" Yukina asked Botan, her voice a little louder than seemed necessary, presumably to save her brother from his mounting apprehension.

"We came to see Kurama," Botan replied. "But he was… Busy at work…"

"Is there trouble afoot in demon world?" Yukina asked.

"I don't think so," Botan said.

Hiei snorted as though amused by her response. She looked back over her shoulder at him again and although he did not look directly at her, the way he was rolling his eyes and forming a crooked smirk on his face did not please her.

"Is there trouble in demon world, Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes, but it's not your concern," Hiei replied.

"There is not trouble in demon world!" Botan argued.

"There is," Hiei told Kuwabara. "It's a complicated matter, a demon thing. It would take me a long time to explain it in a way that a human like you could understand, and it would take twice that long for me to explain it in a way that an idiot ferry girl like her would be able to understand."

Botan made to argue back but stopped short when Kuwabara started to answer Hiei.

"That's not really fair, Hiei," he said. "You don't understand human world problems or spirit world problems, you can't expect us to understand demon world problems. And besides, Botan's not stupid. She just has a really bad habit of putting her foot in her mouth all the time."

"Hey!" Botan protested.

"Sit down," Yukina suggested, indicating the chairs in the living room she had led them to.

Kuwabara sat himself down in a reclining armchair that had a dent in it the exact shape of his body, suggesting that it was apparently his favourite chair. Yukina sat opposite him in another, plain armchair, leaving only a two-seater couch. Hiei sat down onto it and Botan reluctantly moved to sit next to him, stopping as he spread his legs and leaned back, sprawling his arms out at either side of him over the back of the couch.

"Move over, you selfish devil!" she snapped.

"What?" he echoed, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"You're sitting right in the middle!" she pointed out. "Move to one side so that I can sit down too!"

Hiei sighed and shuffled towards her slightly, as though his moving was a major inconvenience. Botan angrily stepped over his feet and slapped his knee a few times to encourage him to move further before sitting down in the space he had created, where she promptly found herself wedged between the arm of the couch and Hiei's right thigh.

"Move over!" she yelled.

"I already did!" he yelled back.

"I mean move right over!" she shouted. "To the other side of the divide!"

"The divide?"

"There are two cushions on this couch, you're supposed to sit on your own cushion, so get off of mine!"

Hiei lifted his hip and looked down at the meeting point between the two seat cushions beneath him.

"You're small," he concluded, lowering his hip again.

"You're being selfish, I need more space!" she argued.

"Maybe you need to go on a diet," Hiei muttered.

"If you don't move over right now, I'll scream in your ear until you do move over!"

"I'll rip out your vocal chords if you even try that."

"Then I'll use this!"

Botan whipped out the Mystic Whistle from one sleeve, wiggling it in the air to demonstrate her point. Hiei immediately snatched it from her fingers and yanked it away from her, but the string attached to it was still around her wrist, and in pulling the whistle away, he pulled her arm with it. Under the force of his strength she fell with a yelp, landing awkwardly over his lap.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Kuwabara asked in a low voice.

"I'll make us some tea," Yukina said, standing abruptly.

"I'll help you with that," Kuwabara immediately replied, hurrying to stand and stumbling after her as she left the room.

Botan watched them go before turning her head to look up at Hiei. She started to accuse him of making poor Kuwabara and Yukina feel uncomfortable in their own home but her words were cut off when he suddenly grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her face up to his, forcing a kiss on her. She moaned into his lips and tried to push him off of her with her free hand, but her attempts did little more than crease his cloak. As the moment continued, she began to feel torn between wanting to enjoy it and fearing being caught: if Kuwabara saw her kissing Hiei there was no way she could hope that he would keep it a secret, especially not after the things he had said to her at Hitomi's wedding.

"Mister Hiei?" Yukina called from another room.

Botan gave out a muffled squeak and redoubled her efforts to push Hiei off of her as she heard Yukina's footsteps moving towards them. At the last possible second Hiei shoved her back onto her own side of the couch and turned to face the doorway as Yukina entered through it.

"Do you like anything in your tea?" she asked him. "Milk, sugar, lemon, honey? I've never made tea for you before, I wasn't sure how you would like it."

"Just plain is fine," Hiei replied.

Botan marvelled at how clam and relaxed he sounded. She was sitting stiffly, the Mystic Whistle still swinging from her wrist, her hair slightly ruffled and her clothes a little twisted.

"Alright," Yukina said before leaving the room again.

Botan moved her eyes to the doorway, watching over Hiei's head as Yukina disappeared before lowering her eyes to Hiei himself.

"What is wrong with you?" she hissed.

"We already went over this," he whispered back. "We both have the same problem: we're both frustrated."

"What?"

Botan was genuinely confused and wanted to ask Hiei when exactly they had both agreed to being "frustrated", but before she could put her thoughts into words she suddenly found herself lying in Hiei's arms and his lips once more on hers. She struggled against him again, but found herself giving up quite quickly – because she stood no chance of overpowering him she told herself as she parted her lips and their tongues met.

"Hey Botan, do you like these little chocolate snacks?"

Botan tensed as she heard Kuwabara's heavy footsteps moving through the house and she began again trying to push Hiei back, but again he stubbornly held her in place until the last possible second, when he again threw her a little too harshly back over to her own side of the couch.

"Somebody I know doesn't like these with their tea, was that you or was it Yusuke?" Kuwabara asked as he entered the room.

"Um… What?" Botan asked, looking up at him in a confused daze.

"Do you like these?" he asked, waggling a packet of red foil-wrapped chocolate wafers in front of her.

"Sure," she replied.

Actually, she had no idea if she liked them or not, but right then she could not really remember what any type of food tasted like, as her mouth was still filled with the taste of Hiei, and her brain was too confused to think of anything else.

"Okay, cool," Kuwabara said before leaving the room again.

"You're really not funny, Hiei," Botan whispered once he was gone. "What if one of them had walked in on us like that? How would you have explained yourself?"

"I don't need to explain anything," Hiei casually replied. "Your awkwardness is your own, don't try to project that onto me. And besides, I don't remember hearing you complaining."

Botan gasped in horror.

"I was trying to push you off the whole time!" she pointed out.

"Hn, sure you were."

"I was!"

Hiei gave her a slightly strange look before again grabbing her and pulling her over his lap, cradling her in his arms so that she was looking up at him. He held her there for several seconds, staring down at her intensely. She looked into his eyes at first, but as the moment dragged on, her eyes began to wander to his lips, and only after she had already done it did she realise that, upon looking at his lips, she licked her own lips.

"Yes, you're pushing me off with so much effort, I don't know if I can possibly hold you here against your will much longer," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You're not funny, Hiei!" she hissed.

"I'm not trying to be, idiot," he replied.

"Oh, just shut-up!"

"I don't have to take orders from you."

"Just shut-up and kiss me!"

Botan thought that she was even more surprised than Hiei that she had said what she had, and she was positively shocked when she found herself grabbing handfuls of his cloak by his shoulders and pulling herself up to force a kiss on him the way he had already twice done to her. Unlike her response to such an action, Hiei did not try to resist, instead curling his arms around her to hold her in place and returning her gesture without hesitation. It was not that she wanted to kiss Hiei – far from it, because his rudeness disgusted her and she always felt terrible afterwards – but when their lips touched and she kept her eyes closed, it was such a wonderful feeling, and it made her forget, for just that brief moment of contact, about everything that brought worry and stress into her life. She still of course wished that it was Yusuke she was sharing those little moments of passion with, but with her eyes closed and her mind focussed, it was quite easy to pretend that she was actually with Yusuke.

"Botan, Mister Hiei?"

Botan tensed.

"I just noticed the time: would you like to stay for lunch?"

Hiei lifted his head and Botan almost cursed herself when she immediately let out a moan of complaint at the loss of contact and Hiei smirked to himself upon hearing it.

"Yes, thank you Yukina," he called through to his sister.

Botan glowered at him but his smirk merely widened as their eyes met.

"That was very presumptuous of you: maybe I don't want to stay for lunch!" she hissed.

"It was your idea to come here," he pointed out.

"Yes, it was my idea to come here!" she replied. "It was also my idea to come here alone! I didn't ask you to follow me here!"

"I got here ahead of you, how could I possibly have followed you?"

"You only came here because you knew that I was coming here!"

"Hn, don't flatter yourself."

"Of course you only came here because of me! You had no plans to come here until I said that I was coming here! You haven't visited anyone in the living world for over thirty years, don't bother pretending you've suddenly become sociable and this was somehow your idea!"

"Kurama made a good point: how many bodies does it take to deliver a message?"

"Yes, that is a very good point, so why are you here too?"

"Do you know what the message is?"

Botan faltered.

"N-not exactly…" she muttered.

"Because you were not the one sent here, I was!" Hiei reminded her. "You followed me!"

"But you followed me to this house!" she argued back.

"You followed me to this world," he growled.

"You followed me to this life!"

"…That doesn't even make any sense, idiot!"

"It doesn't need to make sense, the point is that you're wrong and I'm right!"

"About what?"

"I don't know any more! I can't concentrate on anything when you keep looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like you want to eat me!"

Hiei's face twisted, and the sudden and uncharacteristic look of confusion he took on slowly made Botan realise how she may not have chosen the best words to explain herself.

"I mean you want to eat my flesh," she qualified.

Hiei's face twisted further.

"No, wait!" she hurriedly corrected herself. "I mean you want to suck on my – I mean you want to drink my – I mean – I don't know what I mean, just let me go!"

"Alright."

Botan yelped as she fell to the floor. She had only meant for Hiei to release her, not for him to push her off of the couch, but, as usual, Hiei had misunderstood her completely. She picked herself up and smoothed down her clothing, readying herself to verbally berate Hiei for what he had just done: but before she got the chance Kuwabara poked his head into the room.

"Do you want to come through to the dining room?" he asked.

"Absolutely yes," Botan answered very loudly, hurrying over to join him by the door.

"I said my eyes aren't as good as they used to be, but there's nothing wrong with my ears, Botan," he grumbled.

"This is such a lovely house!" Botan continued, ignoring Kuwabara's complaint and continuing to talk too loudly for natural conversation. "Oh and just look at this lovely dining table!"

Kuwabara pulled out the nearest chair for her and she gladly sat into it, feeling relieved to be away from Hiei: but her relief was short-lived as he sat down opposite her and stretched out his legs under the table, his booted feet colliding with her shins. She scowled at him but he merely stared blankly back at her. She knew that she would not able to eat or drink anything with him staring at her the whole time – which was she sure he would do if she remained where she was – and so she stood up and walked around the table. Hiei's eyes followed her movements as she pulled out the chair next to him and sat down into it, but she kept her eyes forward, ignoring him completely.

"Why did you move?" he asked.

"Because I want to sit here," she replied.

"You want to sit there?"

"That's what I said: I want to sit here."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Absolutely I am."

"You're sure that you want to sit next to me?"

Botan sighed in annoyance. Clearly he was only trying to make her angry and argumentative, and she refused to comply any longer. She was glad when Kuwabara came back over with a teapot and bowl of sugar, which he placed in the centre of the table before sitting down opposite Botan.

"So Botan, how's things in spirit world?" he asked.

Botan opened her mouth to answer but all that came out was a high-pitched squawk of surprise, her entire body flinching as, beneath the table, Hiei suddenly grabbed his fingers around her knee nearest him.

"Botan?" Kuwabara asked, frowning slightly.

"Bad," she said breathily. "Very bad. It's very bad."

"Things are bad in spirit world?" Kuwabara echoed. "How so? Should I be worried?"

"You should be afraid of the consequences of what you are doing," Botan tightly replied, keeping her eyes on Kuwabara but hoping that Hiei would understand that she was actually speaking to him.

"Am I gonna be sent somewhere terrible in the afterlife?" Kuwabara asked.

His worry was mounting and he was starting to sweat and Botan wanted to reassure him, but Hiei's hand had moved and his fingers were digging their way through the folds of her kimono. She tried to slid her hands under the table as subtly as she could, hoping that Kuwabara was too distracted with his own anxiety to notice her actions, and she quickly grabbed both hands around Hiei's wrist as tightly as she could before remembering that she had no way of holding him back thanks to his infinitely superior physical strength.

"You just shouldn't force things," she said.

"Force things?" Kuwabara echoed. "Like what?"

"Like things that don't want to be forced into an awkward situation," she said sternly.

"I see…"

"Do you? Because I don't think that you do really understand how difficult you could make something if you continue doing things the way you're doing them."

Kuwabara looked even more confused than ever, but Botan was losing focus: Hiei had somehow found his way under the layers of silk she was wearing and his hand was on the inside of her thigh. She pressed her knees together as hard as she could but to no avail as he slowly slid his hand upwards.

"So what should I do to redeem my soul?" Kuwabara asked.

"You should just stop what you're doing right now," she replied.

Kuwabara correspondingly stopped stirring the sugar in the sugar bowl.

"You need to really stop and think to yourself: is this really something I want to do in front of my own sister?" she continued. "Think of the moral implications of your sister catching you with your hand in the… Sugar bowl…"

Kuwabara glanced about himself.

"You know Shizuru doesn't live here, right?" he asked Botan.

"At least think of it like this: how would you feel if someone was doing to your sister what you're doing to me right now?"

Kuwabara's face twisted in confusion but Botan was beyond caring. Hiei's hand had reached the apex of her thighs and the tip of his little finger was tracing along the lace trim of her panties.

"There comes a point where a joke stops being funny, do you understand?" she said as firmly as she could. "And this is now that point. You need to stop what you're doing before someone gets hurt."

"But I'm not doing anything!" Kuwabara wailed. "I'm just sitting here!"

"You maybe look like you're just innocently sitting there, but we both know there's nothing innocent about what you're doing right now!"

Kuwabara looked torn between fear and frustration, but he relaxed slightly as Yukina joined them with a stack of bowls for tea. She placed one out in front of each of them before moving to sit down next to Kuwabara and opposite Hiei.

"I would think that now Yukina has joined the table, you would start behaving yourself," Botan said mechanically, her eyes still on Kuwabara.

"I thought I was behaving myself…" Kuwabara muttered.

"You do play silly games with the mailman sometimes Kazuma," Yukina said as she picked up the teapot.

"But that's just for fun!" Kuwabara defended himself.

"He doesn't find it very funny," Yukina reminded him.

"I never thought about it like that…"

Yukina was swirling the teapot slightly, presumably to encourage the tea to stew. Botan tried to concentrate on watching the teapot and swallowing down a whimper as Hiei's little finger pushed its way under her underwear and began lightly brushing against her tender folds of flesh.

"It's probably ready," Kuwabara said to her.

"I wasn't sure," she said gently. "I didn't want to serve our guests weak tea."

"It's ready," Hiei said.

Botan bit her lip as his other three fingers burrowed under the elastic of her panties to join his little finger in teasing her.

"How do you know?" Kuwabara asked. "Can you see it with your freaky eye?"

"I know because I can feel it," Hiei replied. "I can feel that it's hot and wet and it's ready."

"…What?" Kuwabara muttered faintly.

"I'm not sure," Yukina said obliviously, her eyes still on the teapot. "Maybe it needs to be tasted."

"I look forward to tasting it," Hiei said, curling his fingers slightly to increase the pressure of his fingertips against Botan's most sensitive point. "If it tastes even half as good as it smells, I know it will be perfect."

"Oh," Yukina said, sniffing experimentally at the teapot. "I didn't really think that it had a strong odour."

"It doesn't," Hiei replied. "It's a light and delicate scent that makes my mouth water."

Botan thumped a fist onto the table, partly in the hope of expressing to Hiei that she wanted him to stop and partly because her body had flinched involuntarily at his touch. She grabbed at the tablecloth, bunching her fists around it and inadvertently tipping over her tea bowl which was, thankfully, still empty.

"Hey Botan, are you feeling alright?" Kuwabara asked her.

"Oh yes," she groaned. "I feel so good."

Kuwabara slowly turned to Yukina, who seemed to be temporarily frozen, her eyes wide and staring at Botan.

"Uh, okay…" Kuwabara muttered awkwardly.

**

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**

**Next Chapter:** Botan is furious with Hiei, and they agree to stop what they've been doing – after just one more little tryst. Back in demon world, Hiei makes a move on Mukuro, but it doesn't go quite as planned. **Chapter 8 – No More Messing Around**

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, it is nice to know people are reading. I was confused, because usually I get certain amount of pageviews when I post a chapter, but this fic was hardly getting any, and it seemed weird. Maybe it's just the sick nature of this fic – nobody wants to read any of the chapters more than once, LOL!


	8. No More Messing Around

**Recap:** In the last chapter, plot and smut were both sacrificed for filler/awkward comedy, and it was a long chapter. To compensate, this chapter is shorter, it contains explicit smut AND it contains some plot that is of the hurt/comfort genre!

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**Chapter 8: No More Messing Around**

"I can't believe you did that to me!" Botan raved, pummelling her fists against Hiei's back as they walked away from Kuwabara and Yukina's house. "In front of your own sister, have you no shame?"

"Hn, I didn't hear you complaining at the time," Hiei casually replied, without slowing down or turning around.

"What if they'd realised what you were doing?" she demanded. "How would you have explained yourself?"

"How would you have explained yourself?"

"I wasn't doing anything wrong! You were the one touching me!"

Hiei stopped and turned around to face her, catching her fists in his hands to halt her pointless assault.

"Like I already said, I didn't hear you complaining at the time," he said. ""Oh, I feel so good"?"

Botan gasped – partly because she was horrified but mostly because she could not think of a suitable counter-argument.

"Just as I thought," he said, releasing her hands and turning from her again.

He walked on and she remained behind, fuming in her own anger for several seconds before running after him.

"Don't act all smug!" she said, glaring at the back of his head as she walked. "This is all just stupid anyway, you don't even like me! What are you even getting out of this relationship?"

"The same as you, I imagine," he replied.

"Well every time you touch me, I'm thinking of Yusuke!"

"I know."

"You read my mind when we're…?"

"I don't need to. You're rather predictable."

"Well at least I'm not despicable!"

Hiei stopped and turned around to face her. She stopped in front of him expectantly.

"Was that supposed to rhyme or was it just meant to be profound?" he asked.

"Both!" she replied.

"Hn."

He turned around and walked on. Again Botan hurried after him. She was determined to yell at him and make him feel as embarrassed as she did, but every time they spoke, he left her feeling stupid and as though she was making a big deal out of nothing.

"This is a big deal!" she said, deciding that she needed to impress that point upon him. "And it can't go on! We have to stop what we're doing! We maybe didn't get caught today, but we could get caught one day. And besides, I think Kurama maybe knows something, and he might tell Yusuke."

"That's really what you want?" Hiei asked. "You want to end this?"

"Yes, absolutely."

Hiei stopped again and turned to face her and again she stopped in front of him.

"Alright I'll make a deal with you, ferry girl," he said. "Let me show you one more thing, and then I will never so much as look at you ever again."

"That sounds very reasonable," Botan said, eying him over suspiciously. "What's the one thing?"

"Follow me, this isn't the right place for it."

Botan did not like what he seemed to be implying, but when he ran off, she summoned her oar and took off after him regardless. He ran at what she thought was almost his maximum speed and as a result, she struggled to keep up with him, her eyes barely managing to follow his movements. She was glad that he at least ran in a straight line, because if he had made any turns, she would have responded too slowly and probably lost track of him altogether.

Hiei led Botan deep into a forest, where he eventually slowed to a halt. Botan eased her oar down to join him, and as she drew level with him he had made a small gesture with one hand as though to indicate something around them that she ought to be observing.

"What?" she asked, slipping off of her oar. "I don't see anything here but trees."

Her oar vanished with a pop and as it did so Hiei suddenly collided with her. Before she had even finished vocalising a cry of alarm, she was on her back on the forest floor and Hiei was pulling open her kimono to expose her legs. She started to complain, but he silenced her with a kiss, and when she felt his hands smoothing up past her bared knees she gave up trying to argue – instead she closed her eyes and relaxed, silently telling herself that one more time – one last time – was no worse than what she had already done with Hiei.

Botan kept her eyes closed and thought of Yusuke as Hiei eased her legs apart and began slowly moving himself up the length of them, kissing the insides of each of her thighs in turn as he went. She began to feel the rush of desire and excitement his touch always brought, and she even allowed herself a small moan and shiver when his hands slid under her kimono and eased the layers of silk over her hips to fully expose her legs. His fingers gently plucked at the elastic of her panties and she gladly lifted her hips from the ground to allow him to remove them. She almost cried in frustration when he leaned back to slowly pull her panties down the length of her legs, and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from suggesting to him that he did not actually need to bother pulling them off completely, just down to her knees was far enough.

Once he had her panties off he dropped them to one side and hooked his arms under her knees, lifting her legs up. At first she thought nothing of it, but when he pulled her knees up over his shoulders she started to become confused – so confused that she opened her eyes to see what he was trying to do. Botan was surprised that when she did open her eyes the first thing she saw was Hiei's deep red eyes looking directly at her – she had always assumed that he, like her, closed his eyes and used his imagination to place himself somewhere else and with someone else when they were together. He smiled as their eyes met, but it was not a friendly or kindly smile, rather it was an almost threatening, predatory grin; but she did not have to look at it for long as he dipped his head down, his face disappearing from her line of sight, and he gently nuzzled the tip of his nose against her tender flesh. She almost sobbed in surprise and delight, and when she felt the warmth and wetness of his slightly abrasive tongue firmly lick over her opening she threw her head back and let out a short, soft cry of pleasure.

"Nobody can hear you out here," he said, his warm breath teasing over her. "Cry as loudly as you want to."

Botan felt a little defiant then and was about to tell Hiei not to flatter himself that he could cause her to make such a ruckus, but when he dragged the flat of his tongue over the entire length of her womanhood, her head fell back again and she moaned in spite of herself, and before long she was writhing around and crying out as he continued to tease her with a blend of long, slow licks, short, quick laps and infrequent, penetrating jabs of his tongue. She had heard about men pleasuring women in this way, but she had thought that it was something very few lovers ever indulged in – she had once heard Yusuke talking about it and he had made it sound as though it was an uncomfortable experience for both the man and the woman – but for Botan, being pleasured by a tongue was quickly proving to be even more enjoyable than being pleasured by fingers had been.

When Hiei's tongue reached her most sensitive point, he closed his lips around her tender flesh and gently sucked her into his mouth. She began to quiver all over, her hands grabbing at his hair. As though in response to her actions, he sucked harder, and the tension that had been mounting in her body suddenly released in an explosion of ecstasy. She threw her head back and cried out shamelessly, the moment lasting a lot longer than it had in previous encounters she had had with Hiei, as he gradually eased off the pressure of his sucking lips as she climaxed, this act somehow prolonging her feeling of divine rapture.

When the moment finally ended, Hiei dropped her legs and she opened her eyes to see him sit back onto his ankles. Botan watched in silent awe as he meticulously licked all around his lips before standing up and tugging at his cloak to straighten it. He looked down at her and smiled in an almost sympathetic manner.

"Don't look so worried, ferry girl," he said gently. "I'm a man of my word: I promise I won't ever even look at you again from now on."

Botan blurted out an incoherent noise and sat up, reaching out a hand towards Hiei before she realised what she was doing.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

She slowly retracted her hand.

"N-no," she lied.

"Good," he replied, before vanishing in a blur of black and white.

Botan sighed and clutched her hand to her chest, clumsily rewrapping her kimono over her legs with her other hand. She was so overwhelmed by the sense of satisfaction she felt after Hiei's attentions that she could barely even begin to think about what had just happened – but she told herself that it was definitely a good thing, and that at last her conscience was clear.

**

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**

When they reached their destination in demon world, Hiei was glad that Kurama had been quite serious since he had collected him from his office. He had been quite insolent earlier – as he sometimes was, being a fox demon – but when Hiei had returned to him after the agreed four hours, Kurama had become sombre and asked some serious and relevant questions en route to demon world.

"Quite the ambient atmosphere," Kurama said dryly as they passed through the hotel lobby towards the conference room.

"Hn, it's functional and convenient, nothing more," Hiei replied.

Kurama made a noise of interest and together they stopped by the conference room door. Hiei knocked, despite hating the custom, and waited for an answer. Eventually the door opened and Yusuke stuck his head out of the room.

"Hey Hiei," he greeted him. "Kurama, thanks for coming. Come in."

Kurama nodded and walked into the room. Hiei followed him, finding the room beyond to be a typical boardroom layout, complete with a long, wooden meeting table surrounded by black leather chairs.

"Thank you for fetching Kurama, Hiei," Mukuro said.

Hiei stopped short, his eyes meeting hers. Something about her tone had seemed strange, and the look on her face made it seem even worse.

"You're dismissed," she said, her tone a little too admonishing for Hiei's liking.

He narrowed his eyes at her, but her glare lost none of its intensity.

"If I have any further need for you, I'll call for you," she added.

He squared his jaw, glancing at Yusuke and Kurama in turn. Yusuke looked unaffected but Kurama looked slightly concerned. Hiei took that to mean that this was not the time to argue Mukuro's ruling, so he politely bowed his head to her and spun on his heel, swiftly retreating out the room again: he was not going to let her humiliate him in front of Yusuke and Kurama, but most of all, he did not want her thinking that he was some sort of idiot who was incapable of taking a hint. He simply stood outside of the room by the door, guarding the meeting within from any unwanted interference and waiting for Mukuro to remerge.

Hiei thought that he would only hold that position for an hour or so, so when he still found himself there almost three hours later, he started to feel a little used and irritated – so much so that when Mukuro finally did emerge, he snapped at her out of sheer frustration.

"This is ridiculous!" he said. "Not to mention a complete waste of my time and yours!"

She stopped, a few steps away from him, and remained there for a few moments in silence, keeping her back to him.

"What are you trying to prove, Hiei?" she asked quietly. "Because all you're actually doing is demonstrating what an impetuous ass you can be."

She turned around to glare at him but he did not let her gesture intimidate him, instead smirking and shrugging it off with ease and a false air of indifference.

"Hn, you know I'm right," he said.

"Maybe if you have time to waste and energy to burn you should put them both to better use," she suggested, with more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Is that an offer?" he asked.

By the look on her face as he asked his question he could tell that he had misinterpreted her remark to be a challenge to a fight – which, he thought, was rather unfortunate, as he had been hoping to spar with her so that he could literally demonstrate to her how much stronger he had become since their last bout.

"It has been a long time since I beat you down to the ground," she mused, her face changing as she spoke. "Would an ass-kicking stop you being such a smug bastard?"

"You won't know until you try," he returned, grinning hopefully.

"In that case, follow me," she said quietly.

Hiei waited until she had turned around before allowing himself a grin of joy. His recent interactions with the ferry girl had done little more than add fuel to the fire of his burning desire to have Mukuro. She had denied him for so long, and most typically with the excuse that he was not strong enough to be a worthy partner for her, a misconception he was confident that he could now disprove. And of course, the rigorous physical exercise of battling her would nicely prepare him for the union he was hoping for at the end of it.

"You better not disappoint me," Mukuro warned him as they exited the hotel.

"I never disappoint," Hiei replied. "On the battleground or in the bedroom."

Mukuro pulled a face at him that expressed how unimpressed she was with his response, but he ignored it – soon enough, he told himself, he would prove his point, and then she would be wearing a completely different expression.

**

* * *

**

Botan yawned as she lazily shuffled the deck of cards. She had, after her encounter with Hiei in the forest in the living world, travelled back to demon world alone and taken herself to the hotel Yusuke had been staying at, flying up to the roof to avoid the less than savoury demons on the ground. She had been playing cards to pass the time, but each game was becoming more boring than the last, and she was starting to wonder if she ought to return to spirit world. Just as she was debating whether she would indulge in another card game or go to spirit world, she noticed Mukuro exiting the hotel, a sure sign that her meeting with Yusuke and Kurama was over. Cheered by this prospect, Botan stowed the pack of cards up her sleeve and stood up, brushing the grit from her clothing with the flats of her hands. She then summoned her oar and hurried to the edge of the roof, where she promptly skidded to a halt – Mukuro was not alone, Hiei was with her.

Botan's heart began to beat faster.

Of course Hiei was with Mukuro, she told herself. Hiei was always with Mukuro, just like how she was always with Yusuke. It was not an unusual sight, but something seemed amiss, and so Botan waited and watched.

Hiei and Mukuro walked across the street, paused long enough to have a brief conversation, and then they both vanished.

"Oh darn!" Botan cursed.

They had taken off so quickly, she had neither seen which direction they had taken nor any sign of them moving in any direction in the distance. She wanted to know where they were going and what they were doing, her nosiness getting the better of her, as it so often did. She waited a little while to see if Yusuke or Kurama would emerge from the hotel, and when neither did, she jumped onto her oar and gently levitated up from the roof. She tried to decide which way to go, but her mind was soon made up for her when she saw and heard an almighty energy blast beyond the city limits: apparently Hiei and Mukuro were duelling, she concluded.

As she flew towards the source of the blast, Botan witnessed several more impressive flashes of light. This, she thought, was more than a mere work-out, this was an all-out war between the two. Typical Hiei, she thought with a smile, he never did anything half-heartedly. And, she supposed, the fact that Mukuro shared that mentality was doubtlessly another reason why Hiei was so attracted to her.

Botan wished that Yusuke could be as devoted to her as Hiei was to Mukuro.

By the time she eventually reached the location of the brawl, a small crowd had gathered, including Yusuke and Kurama, which only confused Botan further – how had they managed to pass her without her noticing? Her attention had been on the blasts she had been heading towards, so she supposed that anything else could have been happening beneath her without her noticing. She eased herself down behind Yusuke and Kurama, banished her oar and then tapped them both on the shoulder simultaneously.

"Botan," Kurama began, turning his head to look back over his shoulder at her. "It's not really safe for you to be this close to–"

"Botan!" Yusuke yelped, turning fully around to face her. "What are you doing here? You could get hurt, you idiot!"

"Well that's no way to greet a friend!" she haughtily replied.

"He does, however, make a good point, Botan," Kurama said in a soothing tone. "It is very dangerous for you to be this close to a conflict as violent as this one."

"The both of you are standing here!" she argued.

"That's different! A stray blast won't vaporise either of us!" Yusuke argued back.

"Well I'm not leaving!" Botan stubbornly replied, folding her arms snootily.

Yusuke started to argue back but stopped talking as a shadow fell over them. Botan looked up to find its source, and by the time she realised that it was Hiei's limp body falling towards them, Yusuke had grabbed her arm and was dragging her out of the way. She stumbled aimlessly after him, shrieking in fear as Hiei hit the ground hard behind her, the earth sinking into a crater. As the ground around her feet cracked she fell forwards, and shortly found herself in Yusuke's arms. He was so shocked by what he was witnessing happening in the fight, he did not seem to notice that he was holding her so closely, and so she closed her eyes and clutched him tighter still, enjoying the rare opportunity to fully embrace him and have him return the gesture.

"Concede defeat and I'll let you off with just one month of caretaker duties as punishment for your arrogance."

Botan's eyes were suddenly wide open and she was frozen stiff at what she had just heard.

"If you don't concede now, you should also know that I will think you incredibly dense."

Botan turned her head slightly, peering back over her shoulder to see what was happening. Behind her, Hiei was lying face-down in the centre of the giant crater his fall had created in the ground, and he was trying to lift the upper half of his body up, but his left arm was hanging limply at his side and looked broken and dislocated at the shoulder, and his right arm was bloodied and shaking from supporting his entire weight – it was not a sight that she was accustomed to seeing, though she knew that Hiei did always give his all in a fight, often with little regard to how much damage his own body sustained.

"I can't hear you Hiei, you'll have to speak up," Mukuro said.

Hiei grumbled something Botan could not make out and Mukuro kicked him hard in the ribs. He groaned, his body collapsing onto his left side, and he winced as he landed on his badly injured arm.

"I didn't hear that either," Mukuro said.

"I concede."

Hiei had not spoken loudly or even very clearly, but Botan had certainly heard his words.

"A little louder?" Mukuro said.

Botan's hands slid from Yusuke's back and she turned a little more, a frown forming on her face.

"I concede," Hiei said again, his voice louder and clearer than before.

"I think he said that he concedes," Mukuro said, addressing the spectating crowd.

Botan turned away from Yusuke, one hand clutched in a fist over her chest. This was just humiliation, and more so than most souls could manage to endure, so she could only imagine how a soul as proud as Hiei's was suffering.

"Try harder next time and maybe I'll break a sweat," Mukuro said to Hiei.

She walked over to Yusuke and Kurama and together the three of them moved on. The crowd began to disperse, and soon only Hiei – still lying in the crater – and Botan remained.

"Go ahead and gloat."

Botan frowned harder before looking about herself to be sure that there was no-one else around who Hiei might have been talking to.

"That's what you're thinking, isn't it?" he said. "I'm as pathetic as you are."

Botan shook her head – a wasted gesture as Hiei did not have line of sight of her – and she began picking her way down into the crater towards him.

"It's almost laughable," he continued. "With you it's expected, but with me it's just pathetic."

"No," Botan said softly, dropping to her knees at his side.

He had rolled onto his back in the time it had taken her to reach him, and she could see that he was already bruising and swelling up in several places.

"Oh, Hiei!" she gasped.

"Don't pity me that only makes it worse!" he snapped, somehow still managing to sound intimidating despite being so weakened and in such a vulnerable position.

"I can heal those wounds," she offered.

"Don't even think about it," he replied.

He tried to sit up, but the strained look of pain on his face told Botan that he would not manage to, and so she put an arm around his back to support him. He growled at her and tried to roll away from her, but, after some half-hearted struggling and wincing, he gave up and let himself sink into her lap, lying on his right side and using her thigh as a pillow for his head. She gently stroked his hair with one hand and lightly placed the other hand on his shoulder, carefully using her fingertips to assess the damage there.

"I've always admired men who have a goal and work hard to achieve it," she said as she felt around the joint to determine if it was fully dislocated or not.

"Hn," Hiei grunted into her knee.

"A quitter is not really worthy of respect, but a man who perseveres is very respectable."

"You do know I just quit my fight against Mukuro, right?"

"But now you'll go away and train harder and get stronger, and the next time you challenge Mukuro, you might even defeat her and be victorious."

"Idiot, you don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure Mukuro admires your tenacity too. I think that she is only so hard on you because she actually wants you to improve and one day best her in battle."

"If I ever could "best her" she would give herself to me."

"Maybe she wants to give herself to you, but first she just needs you to prove that you're strong enough to be her partner."

"Well obviously."

"So don't you see then, that's why she is pushing you so hard and taunting you like this: she knows that in doing so, she is forcing you to improve and rise to the challenge to become the man she needs you to be."

"Well… Hn."

"It's wonderful Hiei, you only have to work at getting stronger and she will be yours – and working at getting stronger is your favourite hobby, so you should really be smiling."

"You're such a fool, ferry girl."

"Some people might say that you're the fool Hiei, for not realising that Mukuro wants you to prove her wrong. You're very lucky that you only have to do one thing to be with the one you love and that you already know what that one thing is."

"You could have Yusuke. He's a human loving idiot just like you."

Botan cocked an eyebrow cynically at Hiei, but as he was turned away from her he did not see her gesture.

"Why don't you let me heal your wounds?" she suggested. "The sooner you heal, the sooner you can get back to training, and the sooner you get back to training, the sooner you'll be strong enough to defeat Mukuro and make her yours."

"I can heal them myself, I just need rest," he stubbornly muttered back.

"Well, why don't you get some rest whilst I heal your wounds," she pressed. "That way when you wake up again, you'll feel twice as good and really be ready to continue your training."

"You talk too much."

"Just stop being so stubborn and let me do this for you!"

"I don't want to move just yet."

"I can start on your shoulder here, it seems to be–"

"Just let me maintain this position a little longer."

Botan frowned at the back of Hiei's head.

"This position?" she echoed. "What position: lying in a heap at the bottom of a crater?"

Hiei did not answer her, but he shuffled slightly against her, resettling his head a little higher up her thigh and snuggling closer to her. She briefly entertained the notion that, for Hiei, "this position" had meant him lying on her lap, but she did not let it linger in her mind, as it seemed highly unlikely that Hiei would be happy to be lying in what was quite a submissive position with her: the idiot ferry girl that he hated so much.

Still, she thought to herself as she went back to stroking his hair, it was quite a pleasant position to remain in.

**

* * *

**

"There we are!" Botan said as she finished healing Hiei's shoulder.

He had insisted on lying on her lap for some time, though it had not felt awkward or too long to her, and then eventually he had sat up and she had begun healing his wounds, something he had not agreed to or asked for, and yet did not object to when she began her work.

"I suppose you have some uses," he muttered as he tested the movement of his arm at the shoulder.

"You're welcome," she dryly replied.

He shuffled around to face her, him sitting crossed-legged and her knelt down low.

"I didn't break my promise, you forced me to interact with you again," he said, in a rather matter-of-fact tone as though he was merely passing a casual comment on the weather.

"Well I suppose that as long as Yusuke and Mukuro are having these meetings, it's inevitable that we'll be thrown together and…"

Botan's voice trailed off as her mind wandered. She slowly moved her eyes to Hiei's, all coherent thoughts fading from her mind altogether as their eyes met.

"Wasn't the whole point of what we were doing that I lost my… That I got some experience with… We never took it that far, it seems so silly now…"

Hiei frowned slightly.

"What are you trying to say?"

Botan shrugged.

"Well, you said I should get some experience in the… I shouldn't lose my… I shouldn't let Yusuke be my first because of the pressure, and we were doing so many intimate things together, we might as well have just had full sex, and wasn't that really point of it all anyway, but we never did and then you put your tongue… And… Oh my, I am saying a lot of things…"

Botan looked down at her hands, her face growing hot as she considered just what she was saying and who she was saying it to.

"Are you propositioning me, ferry girl?"

Botan shivered slightly and silently hoped that Hiei had not noticed. Sometimes when he spoke so quietly his voice gained a strangely titillating quality to it that she was starting to become addicted to.

"It was just that you were supposed to be teaching me to…" she began faintly, drawing circles in the dusty earth with the tip of one fingernail. "And we never went that far yet."

"Of course we didn't, idiot," he scoffed, his voice back to normal again.

"Well… Why not?"

Botan peered up through the fronds of her hair at him expectantly.

"Because, idiot, a woman can't be rushed into sexual relations," he replied. "Especially not when she's a flighty, guilt-ridden virgin."

Botan dropped her eyes to the ground again.

"A woman is like a rose."

"Now you sound like Kurama."

"Just shut-up and listen to me, you might learn something."

"So rude…"

"A woman is like a rose. Most of the time she's like a rosebud, tightly wound and the essence of her beauty closed away. And, just as you can't force open a rosebud, you can't force open a woman. A rosebud only opens its petals after careful nurturing, and a woman is no different. Forced openings lead to an ugly mess and pain, but a natural blooming is a beautiful and wonderful thing."

"Kurama told you to say that."

"Kurama told me nothing, leave the fox out of this. I won't force you open. If I do, you'll always associate love making with pain."

Botan's head snapped up and her eyes locked onto Hiei's despite her scarlet blush.

"Did you just say "love making"?" she asked.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said sarcastically. "My mistake. I meant to say fucking."

Botan's face dropped and some of the colour faded from her cheeks.

"I was just surprised to hear you use that term is all," she explained. "It doesn't seem like something you would say."

"Because I'm a demon?" he asked.

"No, because you're a prick," she replied.

"…Maybe if you were half as honest and frank with Yusuke as you are with me you wouldn't still be pining after him so hopelessly…"

"And there you go with the prickiness…"

Botan sighed. She sat in silence for a few seconds, her eyes on Hiei's. He did no more than blink a few times, but after only a few seconds she found herself leaning forwards and placing a hand on either side of his hips to rest herself on all fours, and then tilting her head back to bring her lips in contact with his. He did not try to move away, and as she applied a little more pressure, he moulded his lips to hers, sealing the kiss between them. She then felt his hands at the back of her head, one untying her hair and the other slipping down the collar of her kimono so that his fingers could lightly caress the nape of her neck.

Botan pulled back far enough to look Hiei in the eye.

"Where is this going?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," he replied, in that hushed tone of voice that made her shiver. "Maybe it's just something we have to do."

"It seems wrong," she pointed out.

"It is wrong," he replied. "I don't care though."

"I do care."

"Do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I just like to think that I care. I feel less guilty if I think that I care about how wrong this is."

"Think what you want then. But maybe now you should just shut-up and kiss me again."

"Oh…Okay…"

Botan leaned forwards again to kiss Hiei, and this time he grabbed a handful of her hair at the back of her head, holding her in place, and slid his other hand under her, cupping one of her breasts in his palm and gently kneading it. Botan knew it was wrong, but she also knew that if she was being honest with herself, she did not actually care how wrong it was.

**

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**

**Next Chapter:** The smut reaches new levels of smuttiness. And that's about it. **Chapter 9 – This Could Be Messy**

**A/N: **RL is hectic for me right now, so future updates on all my fics might be slow for a while – my sister is now a week past her due date for having her baby, and I'm one of her on-call drivers if she goes into labour suddenly, so I'm also not sleeping much, which isn't helping! And I actually had to do work today – instead of spending about half my day writing whilst pretending to work – so I'm a little behind… No double entendres please!


	9. This Could be Messy

**A/N:** Sorry for delays in the updates, and thanks for the reviews. In terms of length and plot direction (because I got a few questions on both), I originally thought this fic would only be 12 chapters, but all the smut and some extra scenes I added in I think it will now be about 17 or 18 chapters. And Yusuke and Mukuro will both come into the story more, and eventually their true feelings will be shown and explained. But for now, it's really just Hiei/Botan smut! XD

**Recap:** There was plot! Hiei and Botan said they would stop what they were doing, but after Hiei publicly lost a fight – and his dignity – to Mukuro and Botan was there to console him, they went right back to the smut. Yay, smut!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 9: This Could Be Messy**

Hiei was confused – but not so much so that he was about to stop what he was doing. Although she was mostly keeping her eyes shut, the ferry girl was occasionally looking up at him as he let his hands explore her body. She was still fully dressed, but her kimono was made of three layers of very thin silk, and he could feel every detail of her through it. She had asked for full sex – which he was still quite surprised at, as she had always maintained something of a demure act before that moment – and he intended to give her what she was asking for. It was the polite thing to do, after all. That and he had as much of a need for it as she did, and since they were both there and willing, it seemed too convenient an opportunity to shrug off.

He moved his hands slowly, musing at the way she moaned softly and writhed beneath him, pushing herself into his touch, her eyebrows rising and lowering in pleasure and frustration as his hands touched and then moved past points she wanted them to remain on. There were worse ways to pass time, he thought, and, seeing how eager she was to be pleasured and to give pleasure, Hiei had to wonder how Yusuke had managed to keep his hands off of her for thirty years. He supposed Yusuke was still committed to his former human companion, which was admirable in a sense, but if she truly had taken a human lover and forgotten about him, then Yusuke was a fool for continuing to pursue her. The only thing more foolish was the fact that the ferry girl could not see how foolish it was: rather she sympathised and empathised with Yusuke, all the while denying her own needs.

"Kiss me."

Hiei grunted involuntarily, his eyes locking onto the ferry girl's as he found them again open and looking up at him. He was surprised by her request – and it was barely a request, her tone flat and her words punctuated with a slight sense of urgency as though it was more of a demand than a request – but again he was not about to deny her, and so he slowly leaned over her, watching her carefully as he closed the distance between them. To his surprise, she kept her eyes open and on his, only closing them the instant before their lips touched. He was not really sure how he felt about her looking at him, but any doubts he had rapidly faded as she massaged her lips against his. Her kisses were unlike any other he had ever felt: her lips were soft, warm and sweet and her movements tender and hesitant. Her kisses, just like the rest of her, did not blatantly demand something more intimate, but they did have a way of weakening Hiei's will with their understated passion.

As they kissed, Hiei began stripping her of her obi, carefully easing it from her body and quietly discarding it to one side. He then took hold of the collar of her kimono in both hands and slowly and carefully opened out the frustratingly multiple layers of silk. He could feel his body overtaking his own common sense as he exposed her shoulders and breathed in the delicate scent of her skin, their kiss becoming more fervent as he lost the ability to control his movements in his need to have her: and so when she suddenly grabbed his wrists and began struggling to pull back from him he growled and almost refused to let go, feeling cheated and infuriated that she was teasing him so just to stop short before he got what she had promised him.

"Not like this," she said as he reluctantly pulled his lips from hers.

"What?" he asked, frowning down at her.

Her eyes were open, but they were cast down and so he could not clearly see what she was feeling.

"Not here," she said. "Not out in the open like this. Somewhere more private. Somewhere special."

"Somewhere special?"

Hiei had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but when she gently teased the nape of his neck with her fingertips and breathily whispered "please" into his ear he had gathered her up in his arms and started running before he even registered what he was doing. He was not thinking clearly – it was quite difficult to think at all when the woman was kissing at his neck as he ran and massaging her hands over his chest and shoulders – and he did not even know where to take her. On instinct he started towards Mukuro's headquarters, his only thought being that the most private place he could take her to was his own room, but before he was even halfway there he had regained enough sense to see the many flaws in that plan, and so he redirected himself towards the miserable motel they had been staying at. The ferry girl had at least had no problems engaging in acts of adultery there before, so, he reasoned, she ought to have no problems doing so again.

When he finally reached the motel room his first instinct was to kick down the door, an instinct that he only questioned when the girl in his arms produced a key and held it up in front of his face. He considered ignoring her offer, but then the idea occurred to him that she might get nervous if the room had no door on it, and so he begrudgingly let her unlock and open the door before proceeding through it and carefully pushing it shut with his foot. He then marched up to the bed and deposited the ferry girl onto it and made to clamber on with her, stopping short as she somehow managed to slide off the bed and dart across the room before he had fully transferred his weight onto the knee he had resting on the edge of the bed. He turned his head, looking back over his shoulder, and found her at the door, one hand clutching at her loosened kimono to hold it closed and her other hand by the door handle.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Locking the door," she replied.

Hiei was a little surprised at her answer, as he had expected her to start accusing him of something or else making a tearful confession about how she had changed her mind about what she had proposed they do: but she remained true to her word and locked the door in place. She turned around, her eyes only briefly meeting his before she took on that pale, almost sickened look of guilt, and she hurried back over to the bed, crawling onto it and burying her way under the bed-sheets.

"You won't be needing those," Hiei told her, grabbing at the sheets as she tried to conceal herself beneath them.

"At least let me have some sense of security!" she snapped, tugging at the sheets.

Hiei held onto the sheets until she stopped trying to wrestle them from his grasp – which required no effort on his part, so was easy enough to do. When she eventually gave up she sighed and then turned paler again, that vaguely nauseated and guilty look tugging at her features once more. He sighed in defeat and released the bed-sheets, allowing her to wrap herself up in them. If it gave her some sort of sense of contentment and it stopped her nagging then it was worth it, he silently decided. Besides, he thought, the last time they had been in that bed together everything – clothes, pillows and bedding – had ended up discarded on the bedroom floor anyway. And so, as she burrowed down into the sheets, Hiei kicked off his boots, discarded his cloak and then crawled fully onto the bed, waiting for the inevitable moment that her own curiosity and desire began to overwhelm her modesty and pride.

And the moment came far faster than he had expected it to. As her eyes passed over his bare chest, her fingers began to relax, her grip on the sheet lessening. When he moved closer to her she sat up and touched a hand to his shoulder, tilting her chin up expectantly as he leaned closer to her, apparently unaware or else beyond caring when the bed-sheets slid down to her lap. Hiei started to grin at her diminishing inhibition, but shortly found her lips on his, and he began to once more lose focus on anything other than fulfilling his more immediate physical needs. He moved his hands to her shoulders to ease her down onto the bed, her kimono sliding from her as he did so, exposing the upper half of her body completely. He carefully positioned himself on top of her and gently eased himself down against her, delighting in the feeling of so much of her skin against his. Her hands seemed to be grabbing at him a little more fervently than usual, her fingers pressing into his shoulders and then raking down his back and finally fumbling around the waistband of his pants. He shortly realised that she was trying to remove the remainder of his clothes, which again amused him.

He pulled back from her and began opening out his belts, smirking down at her as she lay panting beneath him, her arms sprawled at her sides and her kimono wide open. The sheets had already slid down to her hips and a few more wriggles and kicks were bound to have them off the bed entirely, Hiei thought, which was something of a relief. And she was still watching him, which was something of a shock. Her eyelids were slightly drooped, but her eyes were still clearly visible and still blatantly on him, her pupils dilated with lust.

He supposed she was becoming as addicted to their little trysts as he was.

He finished unfastening his belts and with a sharp tug he pulled his pants down to his knees: and suddenly the ferry girl's eyes were enormous. He had not really considered it before, but he realised then that, in their previous encounters, she had kept her eyes closed and usually the lights had been out or else she had been at the other side of the room, and so this was obviously the first time she had actually looked at him naked, up close and in detail. He only paused long enough to come to that conclusion before continuing to shed the remainder of his clothing and then yank the sheets from his prey and fling them aside: and to his surprise she neither said nor did anything to stop him. Taking advantage of her temporary departure from her sense of modesty, Hiei manipulated the ferry girl out of her kimono completely and grabbed a hand at the last remaining item of her clothing – her panties – and made to take them from her by any means necessary, but stopped short when she suddenly yelped out the word "no".

He sighed and moved his eyes to hers, the fearful look on her face telling him that it had all been too good to be true after all: apparently she still was too prudish and stuck in her ways to surrender herself completely to him.

"P-please," she whispered in a shaky voice. "Please be gentle."

Hiei's eyes almost popped out of his head and he had to quickly hide his surprise behind a frown and twitch of his upper lip.

"I just… Well, you agreed with me that the first time for a woman can be painful, and you're…"

Her eyes wandered downwards and he followed them to his erect member hovering in the air between them.

"You're kinda big," she said in a tiny voice.

Hiei smirked and his manhood twitched appreciatively at what he thought was a compliment: or at least, it ought to have been a compliment, though by the way the girl was shuffling back from him and eying him warily he began to suspect that she had not intended it that way.

"If it's going to hurt, I'd rather I did it with someone I trusted!" she said, her voice a little louder and firmer.

"You don't trust me?" he asked.

Her answer may have been a no, but it came out as more of a squeal of fear and surprise as he grabbed the backs of her knees and pulled her down to the bed again, bringing her hips flush against his thighs. She whimpered pitifully, her eyes staring at the part of his body she now apparently found so offensive.

"If you want me to be gentle, I will," he conceded. "But trust me, you'll regret asking for that."

Her head snapped up and she fixed him with an angered, accusatory glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

"It means you might find that gentle isn't hard enough to satisfy your needs, idiot," he flatly replied.

"Well I don't want you using me like some sort of sex object!" she snapped, slapping the sole of one foot against his chest.

She was perhaps trying to push him away, as he could feel her heel pushing into his skin and see the contorted shape of the tautened muscles in her leg, but it was, of course, a futile attempt.

"Wouldn't that only be fair?" he asked, pushing her foot from his chest.

"Wh-what?" she asked, her anger giving way to confusion.

"Me using use like some sort of sex object," he explained. "I think that would be fair, since that's how you treat me."

She gasped, looking genuinely horrified at his words, but he shortly proved to them both that she was either a hypocrite or in denial as he leaned over her again and she gladly lifted her chin, her lips meeting his in another almost violently passionate kiss. Hiei contemplated pausing to tell her how ironic her behaviour was, but he eventually decided against it, as doing so would probably only lead to her hiding under the bed-sheets for another few minutes and pleading her innocence, and he was growing tired of that act.

And really, he thought as she fisted a hand in his hand and hooked her other arm under his and pulled him down to the bed, her innocent ferry girl act really was only an act.

He let her pull him down, using the motion as an excuse to work his knees between her legs and push them apart. She seemed not to even notice at first, but as he pressed his hips to hers, nestling himself against her he felt her hips buck slightly beneath him and her body tensed. He thought she might then have a change of heart, but, again to his surprise, she hooked one leg over his hip and put her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him tighter than before. She was holding on almost too tightly for comfort, but Hiei allowed her to do so at first, mainly because he still thought that she might end the moment as soon as he tried to advance their interactions any further. He tried to subtly slide his hands down her sides to her panties in the vain hope that he could slip them off without her noticing or causing a fuss, but again he felt her tense as his fingers began tugging at the fabric. He tugged a little harder and broke away from their kiss, studying her face carefully to see how she would respond: and once again she surprised him by simply looking back at him with only the smallest hint of apprehension in her otherwise eager and desirous eyes.

Hiei kept his eyes on hers as he removed her underwear, suppressing a smirk when she allowed him to continue without verbal or physical dispute. He then flung aside her flimsy undergarment and pressed himself against her again, groaning involuntarily as his length came to rest against her heat. She squirmed slightly beneath him and logic began again fading from his mind as she unwittingly ground herself against him in an infinitely pleasurable way. He hesitated there for so long that the ferry girl began to moan and pout at him, but he needed to take the time to regain some sense of control over the situation: she had asked him to be gentle and he intended to comply with her request, but doing so was going to require a lot of will power on his part.

He gripped at the sheets as he eventually began to move, his fingers tearing the fabric as the strain of restraint became almost unbearable. He bore it as best he could, easing his hips back to drag his member against the ferry girl's already perfectly wet and invitingly hot flesh. He then carefully positioned himself over her opening and, fighting down the instinct to drive himself fully into her, he gently pushed forwards until the entire head of his penis had disappeared from sight between her taut and quivering lips. He paused for barely a second before slowly easing himself out again and once more resting his length flat against her folds and leaning forwards to rub their genitals together again. He looked into her eyes and saw that she was still almost inebriated in a haze of her own desire, and apparently as yet unaware of the game he was playing with her. She was so naïve and inexperienced, he thought, it would probably take her a few more minutes to realise exactly what he was doing to her and then another few minutes more for her to realise that it was an act of teasing that bordered on cruelty.

Hiei slid back again and again he pushed himself into her, pushing only a fraction of an inch deeper into her than he had the first time before easing out again and again rubbing his length against her. She moaned and her eyebrows twitched into a faint frown, but otherwise she did not respond, and so he repeated the process of sliding the flat length of his penis against her until he reached her entrance and then gently pushing into her, entering her slightly further than the time before and then gently backing out again. She was still quite tense and so he continued his routine, never breaking pace and each time penetrating her deeper and deeper. He worked past her barrier almost without her noticing, as she barely let out a gasp, and once he had past that point, he began to notice a change in her as she started to wriggle beneath him, apparently growing as frustrated as he was with the painfully slow, overly gentle and excessively teasing nature of his actions.

The ferry girl muttered out something that sounded almost like an alien language and she attempted to push against Hiei as he once more entered her. It took more effort than he would ever admit to to hold himself back and pull out of her again, but he told himself that it was worth it when he saw the way her face flickered with angered frustration.

"Gentle enough for you?" he asked quietly as he rubbed against her again.

"No!" she replied, sounding and looking almost hysterical.

"Not gentle enough for you?" he asked. "I'll be gentler then…"

He lifted his hips to ease the pressure between them and she actually sobbed.

"That's not what I meant!" she wailed.

"Then what did you mean?" he asked, positioning himself at her entrance again.

"I meant too gentle!" she cried. "Not hard enough!"

"You want it harder?" he asked.

"Yes, I want it harder!" she yelled, glaring at him, her eyes flashing with anger.

"Are you sure? Because you definitely begged me to be gentle before we started–"

"Give it to me harder, you bastard!"

There was a brief pause before her anger gave way to surprise and slight embarrassment. As her ire faded, Hiei realised that his face was contorted a little too in his surprise and so he quickly corrected it, expertly hiding his true feelings behind a mask of indifference.

"Okay," he said quietly.

He wrapped his arms around her thighs and pulled her legs further apart before driving himself fully into her. She threw her head back and thrust up her chest, crying out in pleasure. Hiei again suffered a brief moment of warring with his own instincts: although he had thrust into her much harder than before, it was still quite a mild and restrained action by his usual standards. He wanted to tighten his hold of her and ride her as hard and fast as he possibly could, but he knew that he would hurt her if he did, and she would never let him near her again if he hurt her, and so, focusing his attention on restraining himself, he began thrusting his hips against hers with a speed and forcefulness that he hoped was gentle enough not to hurt her but also hard enough to satisfy what she was asking for. When she began to squeal and shiver beneath him he felt that he had found the balance he had sought.

Within minutes she was sweating and clawing at the bed, and before long Hiei could see and feel that she was close to her release. He allowed himself to pump his hips a little harder and faster then to push her over the edge, the sound of her howls of delight almost making him lose concentration again. As she tightened around him he slowed his pace until she had calmed herself and then he lay down onto her, remaining sheathed inside her and letting her cling onto him as she came down from her euphoric high. He was still hard inside her and in need of more, but he hoped that she would be ready to go again soon if he let her cuddle him for a little while – he had heard that women liked cuddling after sex.

"Oh God…" she gasped, her shaking hands clutching at his shoulders. "That was God…"

"What?" Hiei grunted into her shoulder.

"My nurgle…" she moaned.

"Your what?"

"Mwuh-na."

Hiei groaned. She was starting to sound ridiculous.

"It was better than I ever imagined it could possibly ever maybe be," she said, her voice slightly muffled as though she was talking through the sleeve of her kimono.

Hiei brightened though: that at least was a compliment. Not that he needed it, of course, he already knew what a fantastic lover he was. It was just a welcome thing to hear after enduring thirty years of constant put-downs.

"I want to love you."

Hiei stiffened.

"What?" he asked.

"Forever now," she sighed.

"What?"

Hiei rearranged his hands onto the bed at either side of her head and pushed himself up to look down at her face. Her eyes were closed and she had an almost goofy smile on her sweat-glistened face.

"So nice…" she said softly.

She was making no sense, and so he dismissed her last words as just part of her nonsensical babble. That and, as she yet again had her eyes closed, she was probably imagining that she was with Yusuke again and had intended her expression of sentiment for the mazoku.

"Tell me when you're ready to go again," he said.

"What?"

The ferry girl's eyes opened wide and fixed onto Hiei's.

"I'm not done yet," he reminded her, pushing against her to prove his point.

She yelped and her entire body jerked as he moved deeper into her still tense body.

"When you're ready," he said, before lying down onto her again.

She muttered out something incomprehensible again, but she put her arms around him and touched her cheek to his, so he assumed that she was not objecting to the idea of a second round of love-making; he just hoped that she did not make him wait too long.

**

* * *

**

Botan's neck and shoulders were starting to ache from over-use. She was sitting in an armchair in the hotel lobby, facing the wall Hiei was standing leaning against, both of them waiting for their respective partners to emerge from the nearby conference room, and neither of them looking directly at each other. Hiei had contented himself with alternating between watching the door to the conference room and watching his feet, but Botan had spent the last half hour trying to look anywhere but either at the conference room or at Hiei. Or at least, she had spent the last half hour trying to look anywhere but either the conference room or Hiei, but her eyes kept wandering back to one or the other, facilitating the need for her to turn abruptly away and seek out something else to distract herself with; and the repeated, exaggerated turning of her head was starting to make her neck and shoulders ache.

She tried to look at things that distracted her thoughts, like the artwork on the wall or the pattern on the carpet, but mostly her attempts were failing, as her mind was overflowing with conflicting thoughts about what she had done with Hiei. She was surprised that it had been so painless and pleasurable – because she had always thought that her first time would be the opposite of both – and she was left wondering just how much of a mistake she had made. Hiei had convinced her that she ought to lose her virginity to him rather than wait for Yusuke by leading her to believe that her first time would be terrible and might make things between her and Yusuke strained. Hiei had made Botan believe that if she was a little more experienced, the first time she did lie down with Yusuke would be perfect: but she could not really imagine anything being any better than what she had done with Hiei earlier that day, meaning that she could have waited and saved herself for Yusuke.

Had Hiei lied to her deliberately to get her to have sex with him? And if so, why? It was not like he even wanted her: he was as devoted to Mukuro as Botan was to Yusuke. Although, when she thought too much about that idea, Botan realised that she had been the one to instigate what she had done with Hiei, she had asked for it and she had wanted it, so perhaps she was more to blame than he was. But he still could have said no, she thought darkly.

Botan found herself glaring at Hiei and unable to look away. She was sure that he knew she was watching him, but he kept his head turned slightly, his eyes on the door along the wall from where she was sat. They both remained that way for several minutes before the door eventually opened and Botan's attention shifted, her eyes quickly moving to Yusuke as he emerged from the room, stretching his arms above his head and yawning shamelessly. He smiled as he met her eyes and she felt her worries fade. She rose to her feet to greet him, but her feelings of ease and delight vanished in an instant when she noticed Kurama behind Yusuke. She was not really sure why seeing him made her feel suddenly guilty and dirty, but when he distinctly eyed over Hiei and then turned to her and smiled knowingly she remembered his earlier suggestion that she and Hiei were lovers, and she began to feel even worse.

"Hey, we weren't in there that long, were we?" Yusuke asked.

"What?" Botan echoed, moving her eyes back to him.

"You look terrible!" he replied. "You look tired and sick and scared! What's wrong with you?"

"Mwnah," she said, shaking her head.

"What?"

"Nothing – fine. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine…"

"Maybe just tired or… I'm just tired."

"Oh yeah?"

Yusuke smirked and turned to Hiei, who had moved over to reunite with Mukuro.

"What have you been doing to Botan, Hiei?" Yusuke asked, snorting amusedly. "You've worn her out!"

"I didn't do anything she didn't ask me to," Hiei frankly replied.

Botan squeaked indignantly and Yusuke turned back to her, looking slightly confused.

"Maybe leaving the two of you alone together wasn't such a good idea after all…" he muttered. "I thought you would just ignore each other or else talk about old times…"

"I think we're all just a little tired," Kurama suggested. "We should all call it a night. I have to get back home, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here keen to get into bed tonight."

"Shut-up, fox!" Hiei snapped at him.

"Though in your case, apparently not because you intend to sleep," Kurama added, smiling up at him.

Hiei narrowed his eyes threateningly at his old ally, but Kurama seemed not to care, turning from him to face Yusuke.

"Well, good luck with everything and good night," he said.

"Yeah, thanks for stopping by, Kurama," Yusuke replied. "Do you need Botan to fly you home?"

Botan felt a little miffed at once again being volunteered to be used as a tool, but since it was Yusuke who had made the suggestion, she let it go.

"No, that's alright," Kurama replied, to her relief. "I'm sure Botan is keen to get to bed tonight too."

Botan paled, the almost devious smile on Kurama's face only making her all the more certain that he was mocking her and implying that she was going back to the motel to share a bed with Hiei – which was, technically speaking, true, since she would be spending the night in the same bed as Hiei, but that did not necessarily mean that anything untoward would happen between them.

Unless Hiei suggested it, in which case it probably would.

Botan stumbled slightly. Was this really what had become of her? Was she completely morally bankrupt, totally bereft of dignity and so desperate for companionship that she was willing to repeatedly fornicate with someone she could barely stand the sight of?

"Are you sure you're alright?" Yusuke asked her again.

"Fine," Botan replied, shaking her head.

He frowned slightly but appeared to accept her response as he turned to say his goodbyes to Kurama and then he turned to whisper something to Hiei before finally saying good night to Botan and, together with Mukuro, he walked away, leaving Botan alone with Hiei.

"What did he just say to you?" she asked, keeping her eyes on Yusuke's back as he moved towards the elevators.

"He said you're an idiot and he feels sorry for me having to stay in that motel with you," Hiei replied.

"Oh really?" Botan snapped, rounding on him. "Well Mukuro said to me that she thinks you're pathetic and she feels sorry for me having to share a room with you!"

"First of all, Mukuro didn't say a single word to you, and second of all, why are you assuming that I'm being sarcastic?" Hiei shot back.

"First of all, Mukuro spoke to me telepathically," Botan sneered sarcastically. "And second of all, you're always being sarcastic!"

"First of all, Mukuro wouldn't waste energy communicating telepathically with an idiot like you, least of all when you were standing right next to her, and second of all, that's not a reasonable rebuttal: how can you be sure that I wasn't telling you the truth?"

"First of all, maybe you don't know Mukuro as well as you'd like to think you do, and second of all, you're an ass!"

"First of all, stop talking about Mukuro like you're her equal, and second of all, you're just proving that you're an idiot now."

"Well first of all you're still an ass, and second of all, you always will be an ass!"

"…This is a waste of my time, I'm going back to the motel."

"So am I!"

"You're sleeping on the floor this time."

"What do you mean "this time"? You say that like you took a turn sleeping on the floor!"

"Sleep on the floor, or sleep with me."

"Fine, I'll sleep with you!"

Hiei arched his eyebrows and Botan's ire lessened slightly as she realised what they had just said to each other.

"I mean I'll sleep in the bed with you," she corrected herself. "But only because I don't have any other choice."

"You do have a choice," he calmly replied. "You could sleep on the floor."

"I refuse to sleep on the floor."

"Maybe you just need an excuse to share my bed."

"Why would I want to share a bed with you?"

"So far, it's been because you want to have sex with me."

"We've only had sex once, don't say it like it's been a regular thing!"

"Twice, actually."

"You never finished properly, it only counts as once!"

"Once for me, I suppose. But twice for you."

"Stop twisting it!"

Hiei sighed, and looked about himself before turning back to look Botan directly in the eye.

"Do you want to have sex with me tonight or not?" he asked.

"How dare you speak to me like that?" she snapped.

"There's no-one around to witness your stellar performance, so just be honest with me," he replied.

Botan gasped.

"I wasn't acting!" she said weakly.

"Yes or no?"

"Yes!"

"Right, get your oar and let's go."

"Fine!"

Botan stomped after Hiei as he started towards the exit, feeling strangely torn between anger, excitement and confusion. Maybe everything would make sense in the morning, she told herself. Or maybe she would just wake up tangled up in Hiei and they would start their affair all over again.

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** More smut (oh, so much more smut) and Hiei and Botan begin speculating about just what Yusuke and Mukuro have been up to during their "meetings". Common sense is lost to jealousy, and Hiei and Botan find something else dubious and potentially dangerous to do together. **Chapter 10 – The Both of Us**


	10. The Both of us

**A/N:** First, much apologies for lateness, I could make excuses, but that's not what this space is for, so I'll simply say sorry.

Secondly, Odori Ebi is a Japanese delicacy usually made of baby kuruma shrimp (see, that's why it's easy for me to remember, because it almost sounds like Kurama and Hiei's love child!). I'm not going to explain what it is in any more detail than that. I saw someone eat it once, and I wouldn't recommend attempting eating or even watching someone else eat this if you have a weak constitution (like me).

**Recap:** There was a lot of porn – mainly, Hiei and Botan finally went all the way.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10: The Both of Us**

Botan awoke with a start, sitting up abruptly in a cold sweat, her chest heaving and her ears deafened by the din of her racing heart. She looked about herself as she tried to regulate her breathing, drawing some relief from what she saw: she had never imagined that she would be happy to wake up to find herself in a dirty, dull and run-down motel room in a decidedly second rate motel in demon world, but finding herself there was infinitely better than finding that what she had just dreamt was in fact a reality.

"What's your problem, idiot?"

Botan yelped softly and jerked back as Hiei sat up at her side and glowered at her from under sleep-thickened eyelids.

"I had a nightmare," she tensely replied. "I'm just glad that it's not true."

"A nightmare worse than staying at this motel and having relations with me whilst pretending that I'm someone else?" Hiei asked quietly.

"Yes, actually!" Botan snapped, anger quickly replacing her remaining anxiety.

"Were you staying at this motel and having relations with Kuwabara whilst pretending that he was someone else?"

"No, it was much, much worse than any of that!"

Hiei's eyebrows inched upwards.

"Do you really care?" Botan asked, giving him a flat look.

"Not at all, but I am curious," he replied. "You selfishly woke me up, you at least owe me an explanation."

"I dreamt that Lord Koenma found out about what I've been doing with you and I was being tried in front of King Enma himself, accused with adultery and jeopardising spirit-demon relations!"

"Keep screaming and punching me in the crotch every time you have a bad dream and I will have cause to report you for jeopardising spirit-demon relations."

"This isn't funny!"

"No, it's not. Finally we agree on something."

"Stop making light of the situation with your ineffectual and overly sarcastic attempts at wit!"

Botan threw off the sheets and leapt out of the bed, stomping several steps across the room before remembering that she was naked. As soon as she did remember she stopped and pressed her knees together and hugged her arms over her shoulders in an attempt to conceal herself from view.

"Let's make a deal, idiot," Hiei called over to her. "I'll stop making wise-cracks when you stop acting like you have a need to be modest around me."

"I do have a need for modesty!" she snapped, looking around the room for her kimono.

"Not really," he flatly replied.

"Yes, really!"

Botan failed to locate a single item of her clothing – which made her slightly suspicious that Hiei might have hidden all of her garments somewhere – and so she did the only other thing she could think of to hide her naked form and hurried back into the bed, tugging the sheets about body protectively.

"I'm not some kind of hussy!" she said sternly, glaring at Hiei as she finished covering herself from the neck down.

"I'm sure you're not outside of the bedroom," Hiei replied, his tone a little flippant for her liking.

"You don't know what I'm like outside of the bedroom!" she snapped, only realising what she had said after she had said it. "Wait… That's not what I–"

"I don't care what you're like outside of the bedroom," he cut her off. "And for the record, you are a hussy inside of the bedroom."

"I am not!" she roared. "And even if I was, what does that make you, hm? You're the one who instigates everything that we've ever done inside the bedroom – and other places – so if my partaking in them makes me a hussy, then you must be a downright slut!"

"If you were starving and someone put a plate of worms in front of you, you would eat it rather than suffer the pain of your hunger."

"…Are you comparing me to a plate of worms?"

"Yes, but I also meant to apply the analogy to myself. I may be dining on worms, but so are you. The only difference is that you justify what you're doing by closing your eyes and pretending that it's odori ebi."

"So that's what you think, is it? I'm a plate of worms and Yusuke is odori ebi?"

"You're taking this far too personally."

"You called me a plate of worms, Hiei!"

"I said the same about myself. And I said it was how we perceived each other, so it's all relative. I'm sure there's someone out there who might think of you as more delectable than a worm, but I'm not that person."

"And neither is Yusuke, and that's what's really so terrible about what you're saying!"

Botan clenched her fists around the sheets and squared her jaw, trying her best to hold back her mounting emotions.

"I hate you just as much as you hate me, Hiei!" she said. "And I wish I was in this room with Yusuke right now instead of you – and I know you wish that you were here with Mukuro too – so since we both feel the same way, why are you torturing me for it?"

"Apparently we don't both feel the same way," he muttered.

Botan started to argue her point but stopped when he continued.

"Maybe you wish you were here with Yusuke, but I wish I was in the luxury hotel with Mukuro. Or better still, I wish I was back in my own bedroom. Or, even better still, I wish I was in Mukuro's bedroom."

Botan calmed slightly, relieved that Hiei had desisted with his put-downs.

"You could go back to your own bedroom," she reminded him. "You don't need to stay in this motel."

"I was ordered to stay here and protect you, remember?" he replied.

"Oh… Well, I could go back to spirit world, that way you would be free."

"Do you want to go back to spirit world?"

"No, but it does seem silly not to, I suppose."

"I'd rather you stayed here with me."

Botan froze. Her eyes slowly grew larger as Hiei's words echoed around her mind. He did a double-take in her direction, a hint of awkwardness and irritation passing over his features.

"Don't misunderstand me," he said harshly. "I only meant that if you did leave, Mukuro would probably send me back to our headquarters. With you here, I am able to stay closer to Mukuro and better watch what she's doing with Yusuke."

Botan nodded slowly, though she still felt as though Hiei had not been entirely honest with her. She thought about challenging his response, but before she could find the words to do so, she started to realise something else unsettling about what he had just said.

"Wait, what do you mean "what she's doing with Yusuke"?" she asked. "What do you think Mukuro is doing with Yusuke? They're just discussing a political problem in demon world, aren't they?"

"I'm Mukuro's second-in-command, and there's nothing she doesn't tell me," Hiei replied. "But strangely, on the anniversary of Raizen's death, she summoned Yusuke to meet with her for reasons she never divulged to me, and since then the two of them have spent their every waking moment together in that conference room, and at the end of the day, they both retire to a shared suite in the hotel – a suite that they were keen to eject the both of us from when we interfered with their sleeping arrangements."

Botan started to frown.

"What are you implying?" she asked.

"Mukuro won't take me for a lover because she has a certain standard that she is comparing me to," he replied. "And that standard is Raizen. He was her ultimate choice for a lover because he had everything she wanted and needed in a life partner. Yusuke now looks quite similar to how Raizen once did, and he is rapidly becoming as powerful and influential as Raizen once was. They both have that same sense of camaraderie and wicked humour."

"Are you saying that Mukuro didn't really call Yusuke here to talk politics?"

"If even an idiot like you can see how suspicious it all seems, then surely what they really do in that conference room has nothing at all do with politics."

"But that doesn't make any sense! Yusuke is in love with Keiko, and he spent a night away with that demon girl!"

"I didn't say that Yusuke came here wanting Mukuro, but I do think that she came here wanting him. They've spent a lot of time together these last few days, who knows how far they've gone. Look at us: we can't even stand to look at each other, but look what being stuck in a room together did to us."

"That's different! And besides, you must know what they're really up to: you have a jagan eye, and goodness knows you love to use it to spy on women you care about but won't outwardly admit to loving!"

Hiei sighed.

"You're an idiot," he said.

"So are you!" Botan shot back.

"I can't use my jagan eye to spy on Mukuro," he said.

"Why not?" she asked. "Can she tell when you do?"

"No, but I made a promise to her that I never would use it to spy on her unless she had specifically asked me to watch over her. And, in this instance, she hasn't granted me that privilege."

""Granted you that privilege"? Oh dear, you really are in love with Mukuro, aren't you?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"Because you're abrupt and abrasive, and it's difficult for me to imagine you being passionate with anyone!"

"…After everything we've done together?"

"There's no feeling in what we do together."

Botan felt a little bitter after her last words, and she almost felt upset by them: and the look on Hiei's face suggested he felt little better about it than she did. Maybe it was time to stop what they had been doing, she thought. It was a destructive habit, and both of them had other places to be and more important duties to fulfil.

"I think you're being paranoid," she eventually said. "I really don't think Yusuke would ever be interested in Mukuro, and when I see them together, I don't sense any interest on her part."

"I'm not so insecure that I suffer from paranoia," Hiei sternly replied. "I never let anything bother me unless I'm absolutely sure that it is a concern worthy of my attention. You should know more about this."

"I should know more about what?" Botan asked. "About how you're feeling? About being paranoid? About feeling jealous, insecure and inferior?"

"No, idiot. I already told you I don't suffer from paranoia, and I'm not so weak and pathetic as to succumb to feelings of jealousy, insecurity or inferiority."

Botan snorted.

"What?" Hiei snapped.

"Right now you're proving that you're jealous of Yusuke because he's getting all of Mukuro's time and attention," she pointed out. "And the fact that you think Mukuro would choose anyone else over you is a sign of insecurity, and your obsession with being underestimated shows you feel that you have to constantly prove yourself, and that means you have an inferiority complex."

"If I want to be psycho-analysed, I'll consult a professional," he growled. "Mocking, misplaced misunderstandings from an idiot like you are of no consequence to me. And you're straying from the point. I said you should know more about this."

"I'm maybe not a qualified expert in demon psychology, but in my line of work I've learned a thing or two about human and spirit psy–"

"Try to concentrate. I'm telling you that you ought to know more about what's really going on between Mukuro and Yusuke."

"Why should I know any more than you?"

"Because most of my memories of you when you supported the spirit detective team involved you spying and eavesdropping on Yusuke during his more private moments with his lover. You had no qualms about interfering in his romantic affairs then, why are you so hesitant now?"

"…What? And I resent the accusation that I'm some sort of gossiping busybody!"

"You used to get Yusuke's woman so drunk that she passed out and then you used that opportunity to pick the lock on her personal journal and read through it. You hid in bushes and spied on them when they were alone together. I once caught you floating on your oar outside of a human restaurant watching them."

Botan gasped: she had almost forgotten about that last incident. She had been prepared to argue with Hiei about his other accusations – as true as they were – but the last one was especially embarrassing, and she had been suppressing the memory of that moment for close to thirty years.

"It might have been omissible if you had simply been watching them dine," Hiei continued, much to her chagrin. "But you were hovering by the balcony on the top floor of the building, looking into the bedroom above the restaurant. You were watching them make–"

"Stop it!" Botan cut him off. "Just stop! You don't understand!"

"Actually, you don't–"

"No, wait, you do understand! Or at least, you should understand! If Mukuro hadn't made you promise not to, you would spy on her all the time too, wouldn't you?"

"I don't spy, I supervise."

"Well in that case, I was "supervising" Yusuke that time you snuck up on my outside of the Yukimura restaurant!"

"You weren't watching them in the restaurant, you were watching them in the bedroom. And you were crying."

"And you were extremely unsympathetic, as I recall!"

"It's hard to sympathise with an idiot foolish enough to watch someone they love loving someone else."

"I hate you."

"Good. Now can we get back on topic? I made a promise to Mukuro that I would never watch over her actions, but you made no such promise to Yusuke, and, in fact, you've made a hobby out of spying on him, so this is really something you have to fix."

Botan forgot her previous agonies as confusion took over.

"Fix?" she echoed. "Fix what?"

"You have to find out what Mukuro and Yusuke are doing," Hiei replied.

"By-by spying on them?" she asked.

"Exactly."

"But you just said that my spying on Yusuke was foolish and pathetic!"

"You do it all the time, you clearly have no shame."

"Well maybe I will spy on them and find out what they're doing. But then I won't tell you, because that would go against your beliefs about spying on other people to find out about their true intentions being beneath you!"

"I'll just read your mind. Or else you'll tell me anyway, either because you can't keep a secret or because you have absolutely no control over what you're saying when you're in the throes of an orgasm."

Botan squeaked and choked on empty air in her shock at Hiei's words.

"So my plan is flawless, you see," Hiei finished.

"No!" she recovered. "No it's not flawless, actually! And do you know why?"

"I don't care why you think my flawless plan isn't flawless," he flatly replied.

"It's not flawless because I'm about to put a huge flaw into it!" she yelled. "You're a man of honour, and you respect a lady's wishes, so now I'm going to bind you to a clause that spoils your little plan! Hiei, promise me you won't read my mind without my permission!"

Hiei briefly looked surprised – but only briefly.

"Hn, idiot," he said as his surprise gave way to a confident, lop-sided smirk. "I respect a lady's wishes, but you're no lady, and in order to make that promise to you, I would have to be willing to take orders from you: which I'm not. I don't take orders from anyone but Mukuro. So actually, it's your plan that's flawed, not mine."

Botan was flustered, but her ire had reached the point of tenacity, and she refused to let Hiei win their little dispute.

"You can only read my mind if I'm within one hundred miles of you and if I'm in the same realm as you," she pointed out.

"Since you can't seem to keep away from me, I don't envisage distance hindering my ability to get what I need from you," he confidently replied.

"Well that's where you're wrong, mister," she said smugly. "I'm going to spy on Yusuke and Mukuro, I'm going to find out exactly what they're doing and talking about, and then I'm going straight back to spirit world, where you can't reach me – psychically or physically."

"You're bluffing. You won't go back to spirit world. You can't stand to be away from Yusuke. And what you're suggesting doesn't even make any sense: why would you spy on them now if you really don't believe they are up to anything suspicious?"

"I will spy on them now because I know how much it will infuriate you to be the only one ignorant to what is really going on between them. Yusuke knows, Mukuro knows, Kurama knows, and soon even this idiot will know. You'll be the only one left out in the dark, Hiei. Can you stand that?"

"I'm not so petty that–"

"We'll just see about that."

"You won't see anything of me if you go back to spirit world."

"I'll know you're suffering, and that's reward enough."

Botan stood up, pulling the sheets with her and wrapping herself up in them.

"If you go back to spirit world and hide from me, I can't service you the way I have been," Hiei slyly replied, waving a hand at his exposed naked form.

"What we were doing was immoral and had to come to an end eventually," she snootily replied, keeping her eyes on his and avoiding the temptation to look down at the rest of him.

"You won't last two days."

"Excuse me?"

"You won't last two days without me."

"I lasted two centuries before I met you, I'll last two more if that's how long I have to wait to be with Yusuke!"

"It's easy to deny yourself something you've never tried. It's not quite so easy to deny yourself something you've become addicted to."

"Ha, don't flatter yourself! I'm not addicted to you!"

Botan did not know if she ought to feel victorious or belittled when Hiei's only response was to give her a withering look.

"I'm going to use the shower now," she said quietly, trying to ignore the nagging irritation of Hiei potentially mocking her yet again. "And then I'm going to find out what Yusuke and Mukuro are doing and then I'm going back to spirit world. Maybe we'll meet again in another thirty years – and even that will be too soon!"

She spun on her heels and started to march towards the bathroom door, only breaking pace when Hiei finally spoke again.

"Was that an invitation?" he asked.

She hesitated by the bathroom doorway, keeping her back to him as her face worked through a series of confused expressions.

"F-for what?" she asked.

She felt a slight displacement of air behind her and a shadow fell over her soundlessly. She stiffened instinctively and tried to remain indifferent, determined not to lose control of herself to him yet again.

"To join you in the shower, idiot."

Botan growled quietly.

"I'll take that as a yes."

She yelped as Hiei yanked the sheets from around her. Despite the fact that she had tucked them around her body, he managed to whip them off with one hand and one swift movement, leaving her hair fluttering about her head before finally settling over her face. She began swiping her hands at her face to move her hair from her eyes and mouth, intent on turning around to yell at him. However, her mind went blank and her anger evaporated when she felt his hands on her hips, his fingertips gently pressing into her skin in that way they did when he was holding her in place when he was doing something heavenly to her.

"One more time and then I never want to see you again," she said numbly.

"Hn."

Botan wanted to ask what his grunt meant – because it had sounded like an amused, "I don't believe you" sort of grunt – but again her mind was drained of logic and reason as he began to gently but firmly push her into the bathroom.

**

* * *

**

Botan peered around a stone pillar, fixing her eyes onto the small table for two by the window of the restaurant where Yusuke and Mukuro were sat. She had spent the morning trying to figure out what they were doing in the conference room in the hotel – which had mostly involved standing outside of the building and watching them through the Psychic Spyglass, and revealed them just sitting at a table, drinking and talking – and she had then carefully followed them when they had set out for lunch. They had decided to go to a restaurant in an even nicer part of the city than the hotel they were staying in was, and Botan had almost lost them en route, but she had eventually caught up to them again as they sat down at their table. They had not noticed her spying, but as she had yet to figure out if there was any truth in what Hiei had said about Mukuro's true reasons for spending all her time with Yusuke, she considered her work to be a failure to that point.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

Botan yelped softly, whipping around to the source of the voice and inadvertently slapping the expectant waiter behind her with her ponytail as she turned.

"A table for one, perhaps?" he suggested, picking loose a stray strand of blue hair that had become caught on the ornate pen he was holding up over his order pad.

"Oh, no, I'm just looking," Botan replied, grinning nervously.

"We're not a museum, Miss," the waiter curtly replied. "Patrons come here to dine, not to "look"."

Botan's face dropped.

"If I tip you, will you leave me alone?" she asked.

The waiter screwed up his face as though she had just deeply insulted him, but then contradicted that sentiment with his next words.

"You can't afford to buy my sympathy."

Botan glowered at him angrily.

"You're not a very nice man," she hissed. "We've only just met, and already you're making me dislike you!"

"My heart bleeds," he sarcastically replied with a roll of his eyes.

She sighed.

"I always seem to have problems with waiters…" she grumbled as she fumbled in her sleeves for her coin purse.

She was not carrying much demon world currency, purely for safety reasons, and she hoped that the little she did have was enough to buy her peace to spy on Yusuke and Mukuro. After some time spent peering up her sleeves in vain, her little purse eventually fell out of the folds of her kimono.

"Bingo!" she said cheerfully, catching it before it fell to the ground and then holding it up in front of the man before her. "I knew it was in there somewhere, I just–ah!"

Botan grabbed her purse to her chest and stumbled back into the pillar.

"You're not the waiter!" she wailed.

"No, but he very kindly let me have this," Hiei replied, nodding at the tray of finger-food he had apparently just stolen.

"Why are you here?" she hissed, straightening out her clothing.

"I thought you would probably mess this up and humiliate yourself," he plainly replied. "And I can see that my assumptions weren't incorrect."

"I haven't messed anything up!" Botan snapped. "I'm watching and listening, they don't know I'm here, and pretty soon I'll find out exactly what's going on – you just came here to report me to them, didn't you?"

"They trusted me to keep you under control, if they catch you here spying on them, I've failed in my duties."

"That sounds like a lousy excuse to expose my plan!"

"Your plan? Remind me what exactly your plan was…?"

"To prove you wrong!"

"I thought it was something about spying on your unrequited love and then going back to spirit world to sulk after you learned the truth."

"No, you're confusing my plan with your plan! You're the one who wants to sulk!"

"Idiot, keep your voice down, or you'll be found out!"

Botan started to point out to Hiei that they would both be found out if they made too much noise, but before she could finish, her words gave way to a short, sharp cry of alarm as Hiei grabbed her arms and pushed her back against the wall.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

"You're going to get caught if you don't keep quiet!" he growled.

Botan peered between the wall and the pillar into the restaurant itself. Her view of Yusuke and Mukuro had become blocked by a leafy pot plant standing on the other side of the pillar, but through the fronds she could see enough to realise that Yusuke and Mukuro were looking slightly confused and looking over generally in her direction. She gasped and froze stiff, hoping that their superior demon senses would not detect her presence: she had prided herself on following them undetected all morning, it seemed unfair to be caught now. Though, she thought darkly, if she was caught now, it was really only Hiei's fault for making such a ruckus.

"If they find us, I'm blaming you," she said, turning her head to glare up at Hiei.

"If they find us, I'll tell them the truth: that I only came here to stop you eavesdropping on them!" he replied.

"You wanted me to do this," she quietly argued. "You asked me to spy on them because you couldn't do it yourself!"

"You're twisting my words."

"Don't try to deny it now!"

Hiei and Botan began talking over each other, keeping their voices at barely above a whisper, but not really listening to each other. After several seconds of pointless, muted bickering, they both stopped as they heard Yusuke say something neither of them wanted to hear.

"I don't think it was a good idea to come here, after all. I feel like we're being watched."

Botan gasped and then yelped as Hiei grabbed one of her wrists and dragged her hurriedly from their hiding place. She stumbled after him, screaming in alarm as he turned sharply and took them through a set of double doors to the restaurant kitchen, which was a mass of chefs, flames, pots, pans, enormous cleavers and knives and the bloody carcasses of a wide variety of demonic beasts. Some of the staff yelled complaints at them as they went, and Botan called out apologies to each of them in turn – something she later realised was probably a waste of her time, as her words only earned her more abuse and rude hand gestures – but Hiei seemed to know where he was going, and he boldly pushed through the chaos, eventually leading Botan through an exterior door. She breathed a sigh of relief, the air of demon world having never felt so refreshing to her before.

"That was close!" she said. "Did you see the–ah!"

Botan had landed and been plunged into darkness before she realised what had happened to her – and when she did realise what had happened to her she immediately began to scream and thrash around. Her cry was cut off almost immediately when Hiei clamped a hand over her mouth, but she continued to struggle until Hiei grabbed his free arm around her and wrapped one of his legs over hers, pinning her back against his body and holding her down. She contemplated biting him to make him move his hand, but decided against it when she heard footsteps moving around nearby.

"Everything okay?" she heard Yusuke say.

"Yes, I suppose…" Mukuro's voice replied. "I could have sworn there was someone out here. Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep…"

"Maybe you're just hungry, let's get back inside and eat!" Yusuke answered her.

Mukuro made a half-hearted grunt and her footsteps moved past where Hiei and Botan were hidden. Botan heard them going back into the restaurant, and she waited for the door to shut and silence to once more reign before she began trying to wriggle free of Hiei's hold.

"Idiot!" he grumbled. "I think you wanted to get caught!"

Botan managed to get her hands to Hiei's hand over her mouth, and she clawed at it desperately until he moved it down and freed her mouth once more.

"Why did you throw me into a dumpster?" she demanded. "I could have used my oar and flown us onto the roof – you didn't have to thrown me in here with all the half-eaten food, pickled bones and rotting fish-heads!"

"I'm in here too, thanks to you," Hiei replied.

"You threw us both in here!" Botan snapped, finally managing to free one of her legs, the heel of her sandal clanging against the interior side of the metallic dumpster.

"I didn't have any other choice."

"Again, I could have flown us to the roof!"

"We didn't have time for that."

"We would have if you had warned me that we were being followed, because then I would have been better prepared!"

"Maybe you should pay more attention next time."

"It stinks in here and we're lying in it, soaking it into our clothes, skin and hair!"

"Hn, that was the whole point. The smell masks the scent of us both from detection. And besides, you work with humans, don't you? Nothing's dirtier than a human."

"You're dirtier than a human!"

"You're not so scrupulous yourself…"

"What?"

"The things you've been getting up to lately could be described as dirty. Especially considering that you are a ferry girl, an ambassador of spirit world."

Botan turned her head as far as she could to glare back over her shoulder at Hiei. In the darkness of the dumpster it was quite difficult to make out much, but she could see the gleam in his eyes and a hint of his teeth, indicating that he was grinning at her.

"You just couldn't stand me finding out the truth about Yusuke and Mukuro, could you?" she sneered.

"Hn."

Botan turned away from him with a sigh of annoyance, and she once more began trying – despite knowing that it was a futile venture – to wriggle out of his hold. He shuffled around a little behind her and she thought that he was preparing to release her; but instead he moved his hands and then stopped again. She stopped struggling and slowly lowered her chin, peering down at where his hands had come to rest.

"You're not funny, Hiei," she said.

"I wasn't trying to be," he whispered into her ear.

She shivered and closed her eyes, and for a moment she forgot where she was, her only thoughts being of now nice it felt to have Hiei's warm body so close to her, to feel his breath on her neck and his hands gently cupped around her breasts. She sighed and started to let herself sink down, but as her knee pressed against something that squelched she was brought back to reality with a sickening jolt.

"We're still lying in waste, Hiei," she pointed out. "We both stink, and we're both coated in it."

"You want me to stop?" he asked.

"No, I need you to stop, because what you're doing is completely inappropriate!"

"You stopped struggling when I moved my hands."

"That's because… Just get off of me."

"…No."

"Oh, yuk, are you the sort of disgusting pervert who likes getting frisky whilst coated in garbage?"

"No, are you?"

"No! And how dare you accuse me of that?"

"You brought it up."

Botan growled and turned her head from Hiei, who again shifted slightly behind her. She did not know if it had been intentional on his part or not, but his movement caused something in the trash they were lying on to break apart beneath them, and they fell slightly, Botan landing facedown and Hiei landing on top of her. She quickly lifted her head and began wailing and trying to free herself from the horror of being trapped between Hiei's weight and the sea of filth beneath her. Hiei muttered out a few curses and she heard his boots kicking at the sides of the container a few times until eventually his weight started to lift and she was able to push herself up onto her elbows to lift her face clear from the mess. She looked about herself, feeling slightly relieved that it was so dark and she could not clearly make out what she had landed in: and a moment later, everything around her was suddenly clearly visible as the dumpster was flooded with light.

"Fuck."

Botan looked first at Hiei, who had uttered the curse, the slightly awkward and decidedly anxious look on his face sending her into a panic. She turned then to see what had caused such a reaction in him, her jaw dropping at what she saw.

"What the hell are you guys doing?"

Botan winced at the sound of Yusuke's voice, which, despite being quite painful to endure, was still only fractionally as upsetting as the look on his face.

"Apparently they both think we're stupid," Mukuro said to Yusuke.

Yusuke's hand slipped slightly, and the lid of the dumpster lowered accordingly.

"In a dumpster?" he said. "In a pile of crap? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I can explain!" Botan cried.

"I'd rather you didn't bother…" Mukuro muttered, folding her arms.

Botan turned to Hiei, hoping that he would say or do something to save them both: but instead he continued to stare at Mukuro, that same awkward and anxious look on his slightly paled face.

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** Hiei and Botan have to explain themselves to Yusuke and Mukuro, after which, Botan returns to spirit world to repent, and then it's not Botan who can't last two days without Hiei, rather it's Hiei who can't last without Botan – and Koenma has some advice for Hiei. **Chapter 11 – Cross The Line**

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews (and, of course, all the patience). I can't update every day like I used to be able to, but I will keep trying to update as often as I can. I'm quite keen to get started on my "Life on Mars/Yu Yu Hakusho" fic, but I'm not going to let myself until I've finished at least this fic. Updates probably will become more frequent when I start on the LOM/YYH fic (which, by the way, is currently storyboarded for 55 chapters…)


	11. Cross the Line

**A/N:** My updates are so slow… But all eventually getting there!

**Recap:** Paranoia got the better of Hiei and Botan, and, suspecting Mukuro and Yusuke of having an affair, Hiei and Botan began spying on them, but were discovered in a compromising position.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11: Cross the Line**

"I can explain!" Botan cried.

"I'd rather you didn't bother…" Mukuro muttered, folding her arms.

Botan turned to Hiei, hoping that he would say or do something to save them both: but instead he continued to stare at Mukuro, that same awkward and anxious look on his slightly paled face.

"It stinks in there!" Yusuke said, moving his free hand over his nose. "And you're both covered in it!"

"I think that was the point," Mukuro said. "They did it to mask their scent from detection."

"But why?" Yusuke asked.

"Isn't it obvious why?"

"…Isn't it obvious why Hiei and Botan would go rolling around in trash together?"

Mukuro nodded.

"No," Yusuke said, shaking his head. "Should it be?"

"They're trying to hide from us, and this was a desperation tactic," Mukuro explained. "They followed us here."

Yusuke turned to Botan, wide-eyed.

"Is that true?" he asked her. "Are you spying on me Botan?"

Botan shook her head urgently.

"Only a little bit!" she said.

Yusuke's face twisted.

"Why are you spying on me?" he asked. "Did Koenma put you up to this? I thought he was keeping his sticky beak out of demon world politics these days!"

"No," Botan replied, shaking her head. "Please, this has nothing to do with Lord Koenma–"

"Stop defending him, Botan!" Yusuke cut her off. "I'm gonna go to spirit world and give that little brat a piece of my mind!"

He released the lid of the dumpster and it slammed shut, the impact hard enough to leave the entire container reverberating. Once more plunged into darkness, Botan was momentarily confused, and her senses only returned to her when she felt Hiei moving behind her.

"Oh no, this is awful!" she cried, squirming her way out from under him. "Yusuke!" she yelled.

Hiei muttered something behind her but she ignored him, struggling to her feet and pushing open the lid above her.

"Yusuke, wait!" she called out.

She quickly summoned her oar and launched herself out of the dumpster, arranging her legs on her ride as she flew after Yusuke, who was marching away from the restaurant. Thankfully he had not decided to run away, and so she caught up to him relatively quickly.

"Yusuke, please!" she said as she drew level with him.

"I'm not mad at you, Botan," he assured her. "I know you have to do whatever Koenma tells you to."

"But Lord Koenma didn't tell me to do anything!"

Yusuke stopped abruptly and Botan accidentally flew past him. She turned around in the air and banished her oar, dropping to the ground and then walking back to stand before him.

"You were in a dumpster, covered in crap," Yusuke pointed out, gingerly picking a stray noodle from her hair and holding it up in the air between them to demonstrate his point.

"I fell," she replied, snatching the noodle from his hand and flinging it aside.

"You were hiding in there," he said sternly. "With Hiei."

"He pushed me in," she said.

"Botan, I know you were spying on me. Why else would you be in a dumpster full of garbage with Hiei?"

"It's not what you think."

"I think Koenma asked you to spy on me, and Hiei came with you because he's still pissed about us inviting Kurama to join us and not him."

"Hiei's not that petty."

Botan immediately frowned in surprise at herself: Hiei was that petty, she thought. After all, his reason for following her had been because he had not wanted her to find out that his love interest was interested in someone else before he did.

"Hiei isn't the sort of guy to just jump into a dumpster," Yusuke said. "He had to have a good reason for being there

"H-he did," Botan awkwardly replied. "He was… Protecting me, like you asked him to, remember?"

Yusuke looked less than convinced and so Botan continued.

"When you sent us away to stay at the motel, you told Hiei to guard me while I was here in demon world to keep me safe, and so he followed me here to protect me."

Yusuke still looked less than convinced.

"He said he had made an agreement with you to keep me out of harm's way," she tried. "And you know Hiei: he never backs out of any sort of agreement!"

Botan smiled and swung a fist through the air, though on the inside she was wilting: her brain was spawning memories of the multitudes of agreements Hiei had backed out of in the past.

"Yeah, I guess that does sound like Hiei," Yusuke eventually said, much to her relief. "But that only explains why Hiei was in there. Why were you sneaking around like that?"

"Oh, well, um–"

"I'm going to see Koenma."

"No, no! That's won't be necessary!"

"…Really?"

"No, I mean, why don't you let me go instead? I'll talk to him and, um…"

Yusuke sighed and clapped a hand a little too roughly onto Botan's shoulder. She flinched at the initial contact but quickly relaxed as she felt the warmth of his touch through her kimono and saw the amiable smile he was giving her.

"I'm gonna be here for a few more days yet," he said in a quieter voice. "You probably should just go back to spirit world for now. I'll call you when I'm done here, and uh… Well…"

Yusuke's eyes flicked downwards and a strange look passed over his face. Under any other circumstances, Botan would have simpered up to him and tried to find out what was bothering him: but she was so relieved that she had escaped suspicion and so eager to escape before Hiei interrupted and spoiled everything, she overlooked Yusuke's strange behaviour.

"I should be getting back, you're right," she said. "There are always souls to collect and… Ferry girl things to do!"

She laughed nervously and summoned her oar, stumbling back slightly and breaking the contact between them.

"I'm not, y'know, forcing you to leave or anything," Yusuke said as she mounted her oar. "It's just safer for you if you… It won't be long, and as soon as I'm done here, we can… It won't be long. I promise."

"That's alright, I understand," Botan assured him – though inwardly she did think he looked unusually concerned about what seemed to her to be only a minor matter. "Good luck and goodbye!"

"Later, Botan."

He held up a hand and gave her a slightly strained smile as she rose into the air. Something was amiss, and she was curious as to what it might be, but as she ascended into the sky she got line of sight of where Hiei and Mukuro were, and she became distracted again. She wondered what lie Hiei had told Mukuro for his presence there or if he had just blamed her. He had probably just blamed her, she thought. She could hear his voice saying "that idiot ferry girl did this to me" inside her head already.

"Jerk," she muttered under her breath, before shooting off across the sky.

**

* * *

**

Hiei sniffed at the air before curling his lip in disgust.

"The ogre just farted," Koenma hurriedly said, pointing a short, chubby finger at the simpering blue ogre in the corner of the room.

"Hn," Hiei grunted.

He knew that the ogre was not really to blame for the foul stench permeating the air around them.

"S-so you definitely don't want some tea, or a snack?" Koenma asked.

Hiei shook his head, leaning back further in the seat that had been placed out for him in front of Koenma's desk.

"It was um, lovely of you to uh, pay us a visit like this," Koenma said, drumming his little fingers nervously against his desk. "So unexpected, and sudden, and inexplicable, and unnerving…"

"Hn."

"How's Yusuke?"

"I've only spoken to him once in the last thirty years. You tell me."

"Oh, I see… Well what about Kurama?"

"I've only spoken to him once in the last thirty years too."

"Oh… Yukina?"

Hiei glared threateningly at the young prince, who immediately broke out into a sweat, turned pale, and then accused the ogre of having farted again.

"I grow weary of your cowardice," Hiei said darkly.

"W-well, you did just arrive here, quite unexpectedly, and totally unannounced, and with no real apparent good reason, and you are quite intimidating…" Koenma quietly replied.

"I already told you why I came here," Hiei tightly replied. "This is a social call."

"Yes… That's the most unexpected and intimidating part…" Koenma whimpered.

"I was recently reunited with some old friends, and I felt nostalgic," Hiei sarcastically replied. "So I decided to come here and reunite myself with my allies from spirit world too."

Koenma nodded, shivered and then made a strange noise as though he had been sick and swallowed it back down.

"Like Lord Koenma and Botan?" the ogre asked.

Koenma's head snapped up and he smiled brilliantly.

"Botan!" he blurted out far too loudly. "Of course! You remember Botan, don't you Hiei?"

"Hn, the idiot ferry girl?" Hiei casually replied. "How could I forget?"

"Ogre, fetch Botan!" Koenma snapped at the meek ogre. "Right now!"

"Sir, Botan was working the night-shift, she's still asleep in her chambers–"

"I said right now!"

"That's fine," Hiei said abruptly, rising from his seat.

Koenma audibly gulped as Hiei's shadow fell over him.

"I'll go up to her room, and if she is still asleep, I'll leave her be," Hiei said lightly.

"Um, I'm not really sure that my father would be pleased about having an S-Class demon roaming around spirit world uncontrolled and–"

Hiei turned his head sharply to glare at the stunted prince, who immediately cowered down in his chair and grinned nervously.

"Go right ahead," he said in a squeaky voice.

Hiei glared at Koenma for a little longer before briskly marching towards the door and following the blue ogre out of it. The ogre inexplicably thought that he needed to guide Hiei to Botan's room, and so Hiei was subjected to an extended diatribe about the miserable creature's pathetic life of servitude before he finally reached his destination.

"It's this door here," the ogre said, as though he needed to. "Let's see if she's awake."

The ogre clenched a fist and lifted it towards the door, poising his knuckles to rap them against the wood, but Hiei was already a step ahead of him: before the ogre could politely knock on Botan's bedroom door, Hiei had already thrown it open. The ogre took a few wary steps back before fleeing from the scene, leaving Hiei to enter the room alone.

Botan's bedroom was quite a small and humble room, the floor-space mostly dominated by her bed and wardrobe, which, Hiei thought, was probably for the best, as the remaining spaces had been decorated with pointless pastel-coloured trinkets and sparkly things. Grunting in disapproval, Hiei moved over to Botan's bed and leaned over it, peering down at Botan herself, who was still sleeping soundly, only her head visible, the rest of her securely tucked into the bed.

"Wake up, idiot," he barked, grabbing her sheets and yanking them from her.

Botan awoke with a cry of alarm, sitting up and looking first at her bed-sheets as they fell to the ground, then at her open door and finally up at Hiei. She gave a short scream as their eyes met, but quickly silenced herself, her fear and shock replaced by worry.

"Hiei!" she hissed, scrambling to her feet. "What are you doing here in spirit world? It's dangerous for you to be here, as a demon, someone might think you've come here to cause trouble!"

She leapt from her bed, her sleeping yukata flying out behind her and revealing far more skin than Hiei thought she realised, and she hurriedly and quietly slid her door closed.

"Why did you come here anyway?" she whispered, turning back to Hiei. "Is Yusuke looking for me already? I thought he'd be busy for at least a few days more yet…"

She smoothed her hair back from her face – though the action was mostly pointless, as her hair was secured on top of her head in two tight buns and any remaining pieces were in curlers. She looked around her room before eying Hiei over again, her worry gradually turning into anger.

"What do you want?" she asked, her tone finally more confident.

"I was bored," he flatly replied. "And now I'm in the mood for coitus."

Botan opened her mouth to answer him, raising one finger in the air – but before she could form words a strange look passed over her eyes and her finger slowly wilted, curling down against her palm.

"E-excuse me?" she said faintly.

"You heard me," he replied. "Think you can be quiet enough that we can do it here, or do I need to take you back to demon world?"

Her jaw dropped.

"We already agreed that the shrinking violet good girl act is just a front, and that you don't need to put it on around me," he reminded her.

"You can't come here, to spirit world, into my private quarters, and demand sex from me!" she growled at him.

"Yes I can," he casually replied. "In fact, I just did. And we had a deal."

"We had no deal!" she snapped. "I would never make any sort of deal like that with anyone, least of all you!"

She sighed and then frowned and tilted her head to one side.

"Wait, what deal?"

Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Physical companionship to ease the frustration," he said.

She shook her head.

"No," she said. "We never made a deal on that, that was just something that… Just sort of happened… And it's over now!"

"It's not over," Hiei said quietly.

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't."

"I'm telling you that it's over!"

"It's not over just because you say it is."

"If I don't want to do it any more, we won't be able to do it any more, will we?"

"Yes, but usually you just like to say that you don't want to do it any more for the sake of appearing to be virtuous, and then we just do it anyway."

"Well this time it's not happening like that!"

"I agree. Get your oar, we have to go somewhere else."

Botan's face twisted in anger.

"You're not listening to me!" she hissed. "I said we're not doing this!"

"We're certainly not doing it right here," Hiei replied, lightly knocking the knuckle of his index finger against the wall. "These walls aren't very sound-proof."

"First of all, you can't come here and insult the structure of this temple," Botan growled. "And secondly, and much more importantly, if you're so worried about someone hearing you taking advantage of me, maybe that should tell you how wrong your intentions are."

Hiei quirked an eyebrow at her, unsure if he was confused or amused by her last remark.

"I don't care what anyone here thinks about me," he told her. "I was thinking about you. You like to maintain your image of the impeccable ferry girl, don't you?"

"…What's your point?" she asked.

"My point is, nobody will believe your pleas of purity and innocence after they hear the noises you make when you orgasm."

Botan slapped a hand against her chest and squawked indignantly.

"How very dare you!" she hissed.

"You mewl like a cat in heat," Hiei added.

"I do not!" she argued.

"Are you deaf?" he spat back. "When you climax, you clearly make a noise like a cat scratching its – wait, maybe you don't hear yourself, since you're usually so caught up in the moment and probably deafened by the sounds of your own cries."

"Well maybe you… And…"

Botan gritted her teeth angrily, and Hiei was left wondering if she was at a loss for words because of her misplaced anger or simply because she knew that arguing with him was a fruitless venture, since clearly he was right.

"I despise you, Hiei," she said in a low voice.

He arched his eyebrows at her cynically, and she sighed, a familiar look of acceptance of defeat donning her face.

"I just wanted you to know that before," she said quietly.

"Before what?" he grunted, frowning slightly.

She sighed again and then fell against him. He caught her a little awkwardly, and his frown quickly faded to give way to an amused, lecherous grin as she began clawing at his clothing and kissing his throat. He made a mental note to torment her about her lack of will power later, suppressing the thought until then and instead focusing on manoeuvring her onto her bed.

**

* * *

**

Hiei stood watching Botan, a strange feeling filling him as his eyes wandered over her slumbering form. He had managed to successfully untangle himself from her and escape her bed without wakening her, but once he had stepped away from the bed, he had found himself strangely conflicted. He had held onto her after their rampant session of passion, mainly because he had not wanted her to look him in the face and see just how badly he was sweating – it had taken more self-control than he had expected to stop himself from climaxing long before she did – and she had rapidly fallen asleep in his embrace, presumably because she had been sleeping when he had arrived and was still tired. She was quite deeply asleep too: she was laid sprawled on her front, completely naked, her bed and body devoid of bed-sheets. She had been lying at Hiei's side, partially flopped over his chest, and when he had made his escape, he had left her flattened against the bed, her head turned slightly to one side and her face mostly obscured from view beneath her sweat-tangled hair. And, just faintly, she was snoring.

It was simultaneously the most disgraceful and the most wonderful sight Hiei had ever seen.

He wanted to wake her up: but really only to brag, he told himself. She had, after all, proved him right by making some distinctly feline noises at the peak of her excitement, and he was almost certain that she had heard herself – and if she had been too lost in her own joy to notice, he was almost certain that at least one of her friends in spirit world was bound to have overheard and would be able to back up his claims. He wanted to see her squirm and try to deny it. He wanted to see that indignant look she got on her face when she knew that she was losing an argument, the flash of anger in her eyes, the petulant pout of her lips, the tensing of her body and the clenching of her fists as though she thought she could actually pose any physical threat with them. The slight rush of colour in her cheeks, the increase in her heart rate, the heaving of her chest, the flicks of her hair and flashes of her teeth as she berated him.

Hiei suddenly realised that Botan was awake. She had, oddly without his noticing, awoken and shuffled up to sit on one hip, her shoulder nearest him hunched slightly and her arm protectively shielding her breasts from his view, and her legs strategically bent and crossed over to conceal as much of the rest of herself from his view as she possibly could. And although Hiei found her insistence on acting modest quite infuriating, this time he barely noticed it, as the positioning of her body had nothing on the rather unusual look she was giving him.

"What?" he demanded, scowling at her.

She shook her head slightly, her face twisting further and her eyes somehow looking even larger despite her lowered brow.

"Y-you were just…" she began awkwardly.

"Leaving, like you wanted me to?" he suggested.

He waved a hand at his clothes, still discarded on the floor around him, but made no attempt to retrieve them.

"N-no," she said, before gulping and giving a small shiver. "I woke up and you… You were just standing there staring at me and… You were growling at me."

"What?" he echoed.

"You were growling at me," she repeated.

"I've got better things to do with my time than stand around watching you sleep, woman!" he snapped.

Her eyebrows lifted slightly as though she was surprised by his response.

"But Hiei, you were watching me sleep," she pointed out. "In fact, you still are just standing there watching me."

"Hn, don't flatter yourself!"

Hiei felt some of his initial anger fade as he saw Botan give him a distinctly cynical look. A part of him wanted to leap back into her bed but another part of him thought that doing so was the worst idea imaginable: though not because it would not be enjoyable.

"You want me to leave," he said quietly.

"If you want to leave, then you should go," she quietly replied.

He nodded and began gathering up his clothes.

"I'll do you a favour this once, ferry girl," he said as he began to get dressed. "I'll go, since that's what you want."

"If you think you should go, then it's best that you do," she replied.

Hiei was not really sure that they were understanding each other, but when he turned to correct her, he found her pulling on her yukata again and stepping into a pair of sandals.

"What are you doing?" he asked, smoothing down his shirt as he watched her dress.

"Helping you leave," she replied, turning to face him. "Since that's what you want to do."

He watched her walk past him to the door of her room, which she opened slightly and peered out of.

"You don't need to do that," he said, grabbing up his cloak and roughly pulling it on. "I can see that you want me to leave, so I'm going. I don't need you to follow me out. You can trust me to leave."

"Someone might see you here and get the wrong idea," she replied, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway beyond. "I wouldn't want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed."

"You're the one who's embarrassed and ashamed," he said abruptly, winding his scarf around his neck and stomping over to join her.

She met his eyes as he stopped in front of her, the strange look still present on her face: it was a tense, sceptical, questioning, confused and slightly worried look, and he did not like it at all.

"Goodbye, Hiei," she said lightly.

He started to grunt out a response but was cut off by the feeling of her lips on his. It was a fleeting, feather-light gesture, and before the warmth of the contact had even faded she had already made a rapid retreat back into her room and closed the door between them.

"Stupid woman…" he muttered, before walking on down the corridor alone.

As he went he tried to figure out why she had acted so strangely when she had woken up, but he found it hard to concentrate on that thought – or indeed on any logical thought – as he realised that he could still smell her on himself: even his scarf smelled like her, despite the fact that it had spent most of the time on her bedroom floor. He shortly became more concerned with how that was possible than anything else, and consequently cursed louder and more harshly than he normally would have when someone suddenly appeared at his side as he turned onto another corridor.

"Leaving so soon, Hiei?" Koenma greeted him.

Hiei paused long enough to see if the prince would acknowledge his profanity before answering.

"I have no more business here," he eventually managed to say.

"I see," Koenma said, nodding sagely. "I'm glad I caught you before you left Hiei, because there is something very important I have to tell you."

"I don't care," Hiei groaned. "I'm not interested in your affairs."

"The feeling's mutual, believe me," Koenma replied. "Which, rather ironically, is what I wanted to talk to you about. Your affairs, I mean."

Hiei slowed slightly, the vague sense that something bad was about to happen creeping up on him. He peered down at Koenma, who, in his toddler form, was having to scurry along almost comically fast to keep pace with Hiei, whose legs were almost twice the height of the little prince of spirit world. Ideas about ending up back in spirit world prison flitted through Hiei's mind: the idiot prince had probably heard all the noise Botan was making and assumed that she was crying out in pain rather than delight, and jumped to the wrong conclusion in the sort of way that only the heir to the throne of a world devoid of sex possibly could.

"I'll admit that you caught me off-guard when you arrived here earlier," Koenma continued. "Your little story about wanting to reunite with old allies was quite forced and awkward, and it made us both feel uneasy. I really just wanted to let you know that you don't need to bother with a similar lie the next time you come here."

Hiei slowed further still.

"What makes you think I will come back here?" he asked.

"The only part that bothers me is the awkwardness between you and me, Hiei," Koenma replied. "So I really just wanted to tell you not to bother trying to exchange false pleasantries with me the next time."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Hiei snapped, speeding up again.

"I'm talking about the next time, Hiei," Koenma replied.

"The next time what?"

"The next time you feel like bonking Botan."

Hiei staggered to an abrupt halt, almost tripping over his own ankles. As soon as he was steady on his feet he turned his head sharply to glare down at Koenma who had stopped at his side, his head tilted back to look up at him.

"Let's save ourselves both some unnecessary tension and wasted time pretending that I don't know why you really came here today," Koenma added.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hiei muttered, hoping that his tone did not sound as uneven to Koenma as it had to his own ears.

"I'm sorry, I'm maybe a little out of touch with today's lingo," Koenma replied, looking almost genuinely apologetic. "Let me try again: I know the real reason that you came here today was because you wanted to have a booty call with Botan, and that's fine with me, so please don't feel that you need to pretend to have an appointment here, or business with me the next time you have that urge. It's just awkward and unpleasant for the both of us, neither of us want to do it, and neither of us need to do it. Next time, just go straight to Botan if she's the real reason you're here."

"Boo-Booty ca…?" Hiei began, words failing him as he looked down at the still shockingly calm face looking back up at him.

"It's okay Hiei," he said, nodding slightly. "I understand. I always thought she had a great pair of legs too."

Hiei's face twisted and he no longer cared if Koenma noticed or not.

"You shouldn't be thinking things like that!" Hiei snapped. "Not with your… With that…"

He waved a hand at Koenma as he tried to think of a way to explain how inherently wrong it was for the pre-school prince of a world of purity and principles to be thinking and talking about such lewd matters.

"Shouldn't you be more interested in breasts?" he eventually blurted out.

Koenma tilted his head slightly and Hiei started to feel stupid – why was he discussing such things with Koenma of all people?

"I mean because of your oral fixation!" he corrected himself, pointing at the ornate pacifier in Koenma's mouth.

He thought he saw the corner of Koenma's mouth curl slightly upwards at either side of the pacifier, and he distinctly saw the prince's eyes change shape as though he was smiling.

"I mean because you always have to be sucking it!" he tried.

He definitely saw a smile creep onto Koenma's face.

"Your mind isn't supposed to work that way," Hiei said. "You're a child, and you're one of the spirit world squad, you're not supposed to notice anything sexual about anyone, legs or otherwise!"

"I get a better view of legs from down here," Koenma replied, looking and sounding earnest for a brief moment. "And I suppose, the size you used to be, you always got a better view of breasts!"

To Hiei's absolute horror, Koenma began to snort and giggle into one hand.

"And I guess you probably still do get a good view from up there, right?" he continued. "Before you were on eye-level with them, but now you can look down tops at them!"

Hiei took a wary step back.

"It's the same thing for me, only in reverse," Koenma said. "At this height, I can see up skirts, and sometimes that can really be a bonus – though maybe I shouldn't try that trick with Botan again, right?"

Hiei bared his teeth angrily.

"You're a filthy little pervert!" he snapped. "Does the rest of spirit world know what a dirty mind you have?"

"Maybe not," Koenma replied, again briefly feigning sincerity. "But the rest of spirit world does now know what a dirty mind you have, Hiei."

Hiei made to reply, but when Koenma burst out laughing, he decided against it. Instead he turned and marched briskly away, heading out of the temple and back to the portal back to demon world: but as he went, he could not help but notice the occasional gathering of whispering ferry girls he passed, who all when quiet as he neared and then giggled once he was gone.

"World of perverts…" he grumbled as he gladly jumped back through the portal.

On the other side, back in demon world, Hiei breathed a sigh of relief and slowed his pace slightly, making a mental note never to return to spirit world or converse with that idiot Koenma ever again. He had landed back in a woodland that was typically infested with low-level demons, and even though his arrival would usually have scattered them, he thought it was odd that his surroundings were so silent and devoid of life: he had expected to at least hear the minor demons making their escape.

After a few seconds longer of walking in eerie silence, Hiei almost stumbled over the reason for it: Mukuro was sat at the base of a tree, her head resting against the trunk and her eyes closed. She looked peaceful and it seemed as though she was asleep, but Hiei knew better.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, stopping in front of her.

"Waiting for you, Hiei," she replied without opening her eyes.

"Was I meant to be somewhere else?" he asked. "I thought you had business with Yusuke."

She opened her eyes, and a small hint of a smile appeared on her face.

"Not any more," she replied. "Walk with me."

She stood up and casually dusted the mud and bark from her clothing.

"You're finished with Yusuke?" he asked her.

"I'm all yours," she replied.

Hiei paused, forgetting to so much as breathe. He was sure that the ambiguity of her words was an error, and that the thought that they might be literal was merely wishful thinking on his own part: but there was something about the glint in her eye that he could not quite explain.

"Let's go, Hiei," she said.

He nodded and together they walked on: but the strange feeling did not leave him.

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** Botan and Yusuke are reunited, his business with Mukuro finished, and Botan is shocked when he takes her out on a date – especially so when she doesn't feel as joyful about the whole thing as she had always thought she would. And things get even more confusing and complicated when, on their date, Botan and Yusuke encounter another couple sharing an awkward evening together. **Chapter 12 – Something Changed**

**A/N:** Probably only another 4 or 5 chapters to go, and they will be more concerned with that other four-lettered word beginning with P: plot. There is plot in this, seriously. It's not just filth. Maybe.


	12. Something Changed

**A/N: **Okay, Ashes to Ashes is finished forever, and I've finished crying about the last episode, and I'm almost done crying about the fact that TV has returned to reality programmes that make me want to smash my face through the TV screen to end the misery. This means I'm finished being a distracted fangirl, and I'm ready to go back to being an over-productive fanfiction writing and fanart producing fangirl. So…

**Recap: **Yusuke and Mukuro caught Botan and Hiei in a dumpster but didn't think they were doing anything more than snooping, Botan returned to spirit world and Hiei went after her a few days later. Koenma overheard Botan and Hiei's "activities" and thought it was funny, and when Hiei returned to demon world, Mukuro was waiting for him.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12: Something Changed**

Botan yawned openly, not even bothering to cover her mouth with her hand as she would usually do. She had worked long shifts the last few days, and she did really just want to sleep, but sleeping had been more of a challenge since Hiei's unexpected visit to spirit world a few days before, which had led to Botan becoming the butt of – in her opinion – entirely unfunny jokes from the ogres of spirit world, including them knocking on her bedroom door while she was trying to sleep and then running away before she answered. And her fellow ferry girls had been little better, their behaviour alternating between going suspiciously quiet whenever she entered a room or else appending their greeting to her with strangely feral cat noises. Botan had stopped pulling cat faces, at first assuming that their gestures where blunt mockeries of her habit, but she shortly realised that it was not her cat expressions they were mocking, rather it was what some of them had apparently overheard during Hiei's visit.

Though Botan still did not truly believe that she made such noises during sex: rather she suspected that Hiei had been overheard accusing her of making the noises, and that was the real origin for the jibes she was suffering daily.

Or at least, it comforted her to think that way rather than even consider that she did actually make such noises and that she had been heard doing so by friends and colleagues she had known for so long.

Either way, it was distressing to think about, and so, when faced with either returning to spirit world for more taunts or lingering in the living world under the ruse of visiting friends and allies, Botan had chosen the latter, and set herself on a course towards Kuwabara and Yukina's house. At least they knew nothing of the embarrassment Hiei had put her through, and she hoped that they would distract her from her current distress with tales of their own lives and activities. A nice pleasant afternoon with tea, cakes and polite company seemed almost too good to be true: and apparently it was, Botan thought with a yelp of shock and fear, as something grabbed the blade of her oar and she suddenly found herself being dragged downwards.

Botan's descent did not last long, mostly because she had been flying very low, and her attacker shortly landed on the roof of Kuwabara and Yukina's house. Botan, still tangled in her oar, fell awkwardly into a pair of arms that caught her but did little to actually support her weight, leaving her stumbling over the roof-tiles and clutching desperately at anything solid she could grab on to.

"Hey there, clumsy!"

Botan felt a rush of anger and readied herself to snap back that she was anything but clumsy – she had not fallen, after all, she had been dragged down – but her anger faded again as she looked up into the face of the person holding onto her.

"Y-Yusuke?" she muttered.

She had not sensed him or even recognised his voice – but she dismissed both things as mere side effects of her own drowsiness and preoccupation with her own misery.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked her. "I've been looking all over for you for the past two days!"

"You have?" she echoed. "Why didn't you just call me on my communication mirror?"

"I did, you didn't answer me!"

Botan paused again. She was sure that she had not heard her communicator ringing at any point recently.

"I was starting to get worried you'd been sucked into a jet engine like a bird!" Yusuke continued, oblivious to her confusion. "I even went to see Koenma, but he wasn't any help."

Botan froze.

"Wh-what did Lord Koenma tell you?" she asked, avoiding looking at Yusuke as she spoke.

She was already dreading the answer: she had barely managed to escape without suspicion when Yusuke had caught her tangled up in Hiei in a dumpster in demon world, and she was sure that she would not be so lucky if Koenma had mentioned anything about the ruckus she and Hiei had caused in spirit world.

"I dunno, he was being cryptic and unhelpful as usual," Yusuke said. "I got that you were safe, and that was really all I needed to know, and so I decided just to wait here for you. I figured you might come back here before you came back to demon world."

"Oh, well, I know you're busy in demon world," Botan said, finding the courage to look Yusuke in the eye again in the knowledge that he apparently knew nothing of her dealings with Hiei.

"Not any more," he said. "I finished up with Mukuro not long after you left. It's been kinda boring and lonely without you these last few days."

Botan laughed a little and started to joke about Yusuke's last remark, but she stopped again when she saw the look on his face.

"S-Seriously?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, shrugging and looking down at his feet. "I dunno, I guess I've just gotten used to all the noise you make, nagging me all the time and stuff, and when you're not there, everything seems so quiet."

"Are you trying to compliment me?" she asked.

"Pfft, yeah, I like you always nagging me, Botan!"

Botan smiled. Yusuke was clearly embarrassed, although he was not blushing, and she could tell that he did actually appear to have missed her in her absence.

"I mean, usually when we have to go and do stuff on our own, you come back for me as soon as you can," he added, fidgeting slightly as he spoke. "It was kinda weird when you didn't come for me this time. It was like I'd lost you too."

Botan hurriedly shook her head.

"I know, right?" Yusuke said, grinning and regaining his usual, confident look. "As if I could lose you, right? You're always there, nagging at me."

Botan smiled and threw her arms around his neck, clinging onto him as though it had been a few centuries they had been apart rather than a mere few days. She was only a little surprised when he put his arms around her and held onto her as tightly, but she was positively shocked when he rested his cheek against the side of her head and muttered out something through a sigh that she was not really sure he meant her to hear.

"I need you in my life."

**

* * *

**

After sharing a prolonged hug on the rooftop, Botan and Yusuke made their way down to the front door of the house where they were welcomed inside by Yukina. Once they were seated, Yukina went to make tea and Yusuke went to use the bathroom, leaving Botan alone with Kuwabara.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Botan asked him.

"Like what?" he asked, his expression unchanged.

"Like you're terrified of me, or you think I'm crazy," she replied. "Or maybe both."

Kuwabara's stared at her a little longer before awkwardly and forcibly clearing his throat.

"You uh…" he began carefully. "Seen much of Hiei, lately?"

"Why would you ask that?" she immediately responded.

"Well, it was just that the last time you came here, he was with you, and the two of you seemed kind of… Close?"

"We were sat close together, yes."

"But also you were kinda just plain close together though, right?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You were acting really weird."

"I think you were acting weird."

"…I think you two are really close."

"Yusuke and me?"

"You and Hiei."

"I haven't seen Hiei for thirty years."

"You came here with him last week."

"That was the first time."

"Really?"

"Maybe."

"…I think you two are really, really close."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't make me say it, Botan. I don't even like thinking about it, please don't make me say it."

"I'm not making you say anything. There's nothing to be said. I don't even know what you think there might be that needs to be said anyway."

Kuwabara narrowed his eyes slightly.

"You're not making any sense," he said.

"Neither are you," Botan hissed back.

"Hey, nice wallpaper in the bathroom, Kuwabara!" Yusuke said as he re-entered the room.

Botan was simultaneously relieved and panicked at his return: she was relieved that his presence meant that Kuwabara would stop grilling her about her relationship with Hiei, but she was panicked that Kuwabara might say something about what he apparently suspected to Yusuke.

"Yukina's choice," Kuwabara said.

"Sure it was," Yusuke replied, sitting down on the couch at Botan's side.

She turned to him to see if he had registered the tension in the room as he had walked in, but to her relief he was apparently too preoccupied by tormenting Kuwabara to have noticed.

"It's kittens and cherries," he said to her. "And it's pink."

"It's what?" she echoed.

"The wallpaper in the bathroom," Yusuke said.

"…What about the wallpaper in the bedroom?"

Yusuke frowned slightly and Botan then realised that she ought to have being paying more attention to what he had actually been saying to her rather than wallowing in her own fears.

"I'm really tired today," she said quietly. "I was working the dawn shift."

It was at least true that she had just finished a long shift of work and she was tired – but not from working harder or longer than usual, rather from the sleepless days she had suffered since Hiei's visit to spirit world.

"Not too tired to come back to demon world with me today though, right?"

Botan paused. She had never paused before when Yusuke had asked her that question – ordinarily she would have leapt at the chance to spend more time with him, regardless of how tired or otherwise incapacitated she might be.

"I suppose I could go with you for a couple of hours," she eventually answered.

"You can sleep in demon world," Yusuke offered.

"I suppose I could go to a hotel…"

Botan was not keen to return to another miserable demon world motel like the one she had been forced to stay in with Hiei not so long ago, but she was so tired that she was starting to think that maybe even a dismal hotel room was a better place to get some sleep than back in spirit world where she would just be kept awake by her own thoughts and the antics of the other residents.

"You can stay at my place."

Botan actually felt her brain draining of every thought and piece of logic other than what she had just heard Yusuke suggest.

"It's not so bad," he continued. "You're there all the time anyway, right? You can get some sleep there, and then maybe later we could have dinner somewhere."

"Like a da…?"

Botan touched a hand to her mouth and tried to keep the shock from her face. She had not meant to actually voice the question that had sprung up in her mind, but what Yusuke was proposing did sound like he was asking her on a date, as unlikely as that seemed. After so many years of him never seeming to even notice her, it was almost too much to believe that he would suddenly want to ask her out on a date.

"Like a diner?" she said, hoping that he would not notice that she had never meant to say those words. "Or maybe a restaurant?"

"Whatever you want," he replied. "There's a really nice little place I go to sometimes, it's quiet and has good food, or we could go somewhere fancy if you'd prefer?"

"Somewhere fancy?" Kuwabara asked before Botan could. "Are you guys celebrating something?"

"Yeah, we are," Yusuke replied, turning to face him. "We're celebrating our thirtieth anniversary of life without you."

"That was uncalled for," Kuwabara grumbled.

"Tea?" Yukina asked, entering the room with a tray of pretty little bowls and an especially ornate teapot.

"Botan and Yusuke are going on a date," Kuwabara answered her.

She gasped, her hands flying to the sides of her face and the tray clattering to the ground. Kuwabara managed to rescue two of the bowls before they hit the ground and his cat barely managed to dart out of the jet of scalding hot tea that sprayed outwards from the teapot as it hit the floor, but Yukina did not seem to notice the chaos she had caused.

"Oh my, that's so wonderful!" she gushed.

Kuwabara muttered something Botan thought sounded insulting as he knelt down and set the teapot upright again on the floor, but as he kept his head down and nobody else questioned him, she chose to ignore him.

"I always sensed a strong bond between the two of you," Yukina continued.

"It's not a date," Botan corrected her, not especially wishing to make the situation any more awkward than it already was. "We're just having dinner together."

She turned to Yusuke tentatively.

"Right?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure, right," he agreed.

There was something slightly amiss about his tone and the look on his face, but Botan dismissed it. It seemed impossible that he would want to ask her out on a date suddenly and after so long of her devoting an unrequited love to him, and she had never imagined Yusuke to be the type to ask a girl out on such a date. Actually, she thought, she had never imagined Yusuke asking a girl out at all. Despite having spent countless hours of countless days over so many years imagining the moment he would finally realise that she loved him, she had never actually considered how he might ask her out on a simple date.

"Oh, I see," Yukina said softly. "I'm sorry, I misunderstood. It was just that the two of you are always together, and so attuned to each other's needs and wants, I thought you might be more than just friends now."

Botan waited for Yusuke to say something, but he remained silent, and, much to her frustration, he was turned from her at such an angle that she could not see his expression to read how he was reacting to Yukina's words.

"It's not a date?" Kuwabara asked.

Botan glared at him accusingly for his bluntness, but he seemed unaffected.

"Why, are you jealous, Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked, smirking amusedly.

Yukina frowned at him but he waved off her concerns.

"Kuwabara used to have a crush on Botan," he explained.

Yukina's head snapped around and she fixed Kuwabara with a look that almost made her seem fearsome: and with her blackened hair, the expression made her once more look alarmingly like her twin brother.

"A long time ago," Kuwabara assured her. "A long, long time ago – before I met you, my love."

Yukina turned to Botan, the tension easing from her face a little, but she still looked too much like Hiei for Botan's liking.

"It was just a silly thing, and so long ago, when we first met," Botan explained.

Yukina smiled and nodded, much to Botan's relief.

"I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn," she said.

"You don't have to apologise," Botan assured her.

"I feel silly for being so blunt and over-reacting like that," Yukina said, crouching down and picking up the tray again as Kuwabara finished replacing the last shard of broken bowl onto it.

"You don't have to apologise or feel stupid," Yusuke said to her as she straightened up with the tray in her hands again. "It is a date."

Yukina gasped and dropped the tray again: and in that moment Botan wondered why Kuwabara looked even more shocked than she felt.

**

* * *

**

"You don't like it?"

Yusuke pointed his chopsticks at the plate of untouched food sat in front of Botan, but she did not respond to his question. She felt numb. She was in an exquisite restaurant – she was shocked that such a venue existed in demon world, but her mind was too preoccupied to linger on that thought – with Yusuke, they had ordered dinner, and Yusuke was looking and behaving very respectable.

"Did you shower while I was sleeping?" she asked.

After they had returned to demon world Botan had not refused Yusuke's offer of a bed, because by then she had been completely worn out – physically, mentally and emotionally. But she had awoken to find Yusuke looking a little different.

"Yeah," he replied, looking slightly confused. "This is a nice place, I was trying to make the effort, you know?"

"It just seems odd," she pointed out. "You don't usually make a fuss when it's just me."

"Gees, I was trying to do something nice for you, Botan!"

"But you don't usually… It's just that… I don't think I understand."

"Can't we just have dinner together?"

"…As friends, or…?"

Yusuke nodded and placed one hand over Botan's. Her eyes dropped to his hand, and she watched in confused wonder as he curled his fingers over hers, enclosing her hand in his. It was a gesture that she had always dreamed of being on the receiving end of, and the thought had always made her heart soar: but strangely when it became a reality, she just felt numb.

"You're my best friend, Botan," he said. "You're the only one who stood by me through everything, and even though you boss me around and you're totally scatter-brained sometimes, I like having you around… And you're not ugly or anything."

Botan's head lifted and her eyes met Yusuke's.

"Are you complimenting me?" she asked.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe you and me should, y'know, spend more time together and do more, y'know, things together."

Botan felt sweat forming alone her hairline. She could see that it was difficult for Yusuke to put his feelings into words – he always had suffered from that problem when it came to expressing his soft side – but something still seemed strangely amiss about the whole situation.

"Yusuke, I…" she began. "I've always…"

"You've always been there, I know," he said, nodding his head. "I guess I never really realised it before. You've always been there and you've always helped me. Sometimes you've made a real amateur job of helping me, especially when I was still a spirit detective and you were meant to be my eyes and ears in spirit world…"

Botan smiled, some of her awkwardness fading.

"You didn't always make my job easy, Yusuke," she pointed out. "And you were always so rude to poor Lord Koenma."

"He loved it," Yusuke replied.

Botan laughed.

"No, he hated it!" she corrected him.

He shook his head.

"That little bitch loved every second of it," he said. "That was why he hired me. He wanted someone who wasn't all impressed by who he was or a total kiss-ass. He liked it when I was brutally honest with him."

"I'm not so sure about that…"

"If he didn't love it, why did he follow me into demon world after Sensui?"

Botan smiled and nodded her head, conceding the point.

"And besides," Yusuke added. "I maybe was a little bit harsh on Junior, but at least I didn't chicken out of the responsibilities of the job like Kurokoor turn schitzo like Sensui."

"True, but you were the first detective to be fired," Botan pointed out.

Yusuke shrugged.

"Eat your dinner," he said.

Botan nodded and slid her hand out from under his to commence eating her meal.

"It's dark out, but it looks like there's a full moon," Yusuke said as she began eating. "It's a nice night for a walk."

Botan choked slightly on her food, but concealed it as best she could. Dinner in a nice restaurant and a moonlit walk with Yusuke was almost too good to be true – it was almost suspiciously good, she thought darkly. She carefully swallowed down the remainder of the contents of her mouth, wiped her mouth with a napkin and then sat back.

"I'm done," she said.

Yusuke looked down at her plate curiously.

"You didn't like it," he concluded.

"No, it was lovely, but I'm not really hungry."

Truthfully, she was hungry, but she was far too nervous to keep the food down. She supposed that the rush of nerves she was starting to feel was a delayed reaction to the idea of being on a date with Yusuke, the reality of the event having finally caught up to her. She supposed it had just taken her a little while to adjust to the idea because she had spent so many years believing that it would never happen.

"It really was lovely," she insisted, when she saw a faint look of disappointment in Yusuke's eyes. "And I'm really glad that you took me here."

He brightened slightly and stood up from the table. Botan started to push her chair back, pausing briefly when Yusuke held out a hand towards her. She stared at his offer, so taken aback by it that she did not even think to respond to it.

"Are you coming or not?" he asked.

Botan snapped out of her reverie and placed her hand on his, smiling as she watched their fingers intertwine. She stood up and tightened her hold of his hand, and then allowed him to guide her towards the exit. As they weaved their way through the tables of other diners, Botan was silently glad that Yusuke was holding her hand, because the feeling of the physical contact was the one thing reminding her that what was happening was actually real, and not just another of her desperate fantasies.

Outside, just as Yusuke had said, it was night-time, but the sky overhead was clear and illuminated by a full moon. The sky and moon of demon world were not as pretty as those found in the living world or spirit world, but it was still a very romantic view in Botan's eyes. She tried to walk as close to Yusuke's side as she possibly could without tripping over his ankles, stealing occasionally glances at him as they went. He kept his eyes forward and said nothing, but Botan did not mind the silence, she was simply glad to be with him.

It was, after all, everything she had been dreaming of and hoping for over the last few decades.

"Kurama said the flowers in this tree glow in the moonlight," Yusuke said suddenly, stopping in his tracks and causing Botan to halt at his side. "I always thought he was kidding around, but I guess he was right."

Botan looked up in the direction his eyes appeared to be fixed and saw a large, gnarled tree at their side, laden with luminescent lilacs.

"Oh my, they are beautiful," she whispered.

"I thought you might like them," he replied.

"You took me here tonight just to see these flowers?" she asked, turning her attention back to Yusuke. "Because you knew this was the best time to see them, in the light of the full moon?"

Yusuke smiled, and a vaguely sheepish look passed over his face.

"Oh, Yusuke…" she gasped.

"You want one?" he offered.

She nodded and he reached up a hand towards the lower branches of the tree: but even the lowest of the flowers were just beyond his reach.

"Oh well, never mind," Botan said when he tried swiping a hand at them and missed several times. "They're pretty to look at in the tree too."

"I'll climb up and get one," he said, dropping her hand and starting towards the base of the tree.

"Oh no Yusuke, don't go to all that bother!" she insisted.

"It's no bother," he called back over his shoulder.

As she watched him approach the tree, Botan felt a strange chill of dread, as though something ominous was pending, and she reached a hand out towards Yusuke's shoulder, intending to stop him: but he stopped himself when something suddenly collided with the tree above his head. He looked as confused as Botan felt as they both stared at the sword embedded in one of the lower, thicker branches, the blade still twanging slightly from the force of impact. It had pierced through a bunch of the delicate flowers and into the branch beyond, sending out a small cloud of petals and leaves in its wake.

"What the hell…?" Yusuke muttered.

Botan felt a displacement of air at her back and she turned with a yelp of surprise to see Hiei suddenly standing behind her. The look on his face was indescribable, and his eyes were locked onto the back of Yusuke's head. He whipped off his cloak and scarf, tossing them aside, and then stepped past Botan to stand over Yusuke, who finally sensed his presence and turned to face him.

"Shit, Hiei!" he gasped. "Why did you sneak up on me like that?"

"Fight me," he growled back.

"What?" Yusuke echoed.

Hiei stepped closer to him, narrowing the gap between them to an unreasonably thin margin of air.

"Fight me," Hiei said again, his voice still low and gruff.

Yusuke started to frown, but still looked far less concerned than Botan thought that he ought to be. She had not seen Hiei look so terrifying in a long time, and the look was only magnified by his increased size.

"You want to spar with me?" Yusuke asked.

"Fight me," Hiei said again.

"Does it have to be right now?" Yusuke responded. "Really? Cause I'm kinda busy here, Hiei…"

Yusuke leaned to one side to look over Hiei's shoulder, and Botan turned to see what he was looking for, shortly locating Mukuro watching them from a short distance away.

"And it looks like you ought to be busy too, three eyes," Yusuke said, straightening again and looking up at Hiei.

"Fight me," Hiei insisted.

Yusuke moved his eyes to Botan, who rapidly shook her head. She did not know what was wrong with Hiei, but clearly he was angry about something, and she sensed that he was not actually seeking a training session, rather he actually wanted a fight, one that would probably only end when one of them was completely incapacitated.

"Okay, fine," Yusuke said, his eyes moving back to Hiei. "But let's make it quick, we don't want to leave the ladies waiting, right?"

Yusuke stepped to one side to walk around Hiei, but Hiei mirrored his move, blocking his path.

"We should move into the clearing," Yusuke suggested, pointing over Hiei's shoulder.

He tried to step around Hiei again, and an instant later Hiei had thrown himself forwards and the two of them collided with the tree Hiei's sword was still embedded in. Botan yelped in alarn, the aftershock of their collision throwing her from her feet. She quickly sat up again, where she found an upturned hand held out towards her. Lifting her eyes further, she gasped softly as she saw Mukuro's face looking down at her.

"It's not safe for you here," Mukuro told her. "Come with me."

Too frightened to argue the point, Botan put a hand in Mukuro's and let her pull her to her feet. Once Botan was upright, Mukuro released her hand and started to walk briskly away from Hiei and Yusuke. Botan hurried after her, following her until she eventually stopped again. When she did stop, Mukuro turned around abruptly, and Botan had to back-pedal slightly to avoid walking into her.

"Demon world in general is not safe for you," Mukuro commented, eying Botan over as she spoke.

"Oh, yes, I know that," Botan nervously replied. "But I'm always safe when I'm with Yusuke."

"Except for times like now, when Yusuke decides to get into a fight, and he leaves you on your own, exposed and vulnerable."

Botan froze. Was Mukuro threatening her?

"You must be very stupid, very loyal or very stubborn to stay here despite that danger," Mukuro added. "Or maybe all three."

Botan laughed nervously. She certainly felt very stupid in that moment.

"I'm surprised you and Hiei don't get along better than you do," Mukuro continued. "He's rather stupid, loyal and stubborn too."

Botan felt some of her nerves relax then as she remembered the day Mukuro had beaten Hiei in an intense sparring session and then humiliated him in front of everyone watching. Hiei had hidden it well, but Botan knew how he must have been really feeling in that moment: the exact same way she always had when Yusuke had failed to notice her attempts to win his affection over the many years she had known him.

"Hiei is…" she began, racking her brain desperately for the right words to say. "Hiei is very loyal. I've never known him break a promise or let someone down."

"That's not Hiei's loyal side, that's his stubborn side," Mukuro flatly replied.

Botan shook her head, her confidence slowly returning.

"Hiei is stubborn, but in a good way," she said. "In fact, it's not so much stubbornness as it is determination and tenacity. Hiei never gives up. He fights for what he believes in, he always abides by his word and he never leaves a job half-done."

"I don't think you know him quite as well as I do," Mukuro said, giving Botan a sceptical look.

"Perhaps not, but he's always proven himself to be everything that I think he is," Botan replied. "I suppose, for me, his only real failing is that sometimes he's a little too hard on himself. He pushes himself so hard and always strives to be the best, and when he fails he tortures himself needlessly."

"Again, that's a stubborn streak," Mukuro said.

Botan turned to look back at where Hiei and Yusuke were sparring. They were some distance away, but their actions looked a little too forceful, as though they were actually fighting each other rather than just working out together.

"He takes everything very seriously," she said, talking more to herself than Mukuro. "He's very intense and focused. He's so strong, and yet he can be so gentle and tender. He's obstinate at times, but he gets results, and he never quits until he accomplishes something, no matter how long it takes or how hard he has to work at it, and that's a very admirable quality in a man. He has a knack of always being there just at the moment he's needed most. He can be argumentative, but that's just how he expresses himself: fighting is all he knows, and so it's not that he does fight, it's how he fights that's important."

"You seem to have studied him quite closely," Mukuro commented.

"I suppose I have," Botan replied, her eyes still on Hiei. "He's a difficult man to get close to, it's difficult to gain his trust and friendship, but it's worth the effort."

"You're fond of him, then?"

Botan turned to look at Mukuro, and as their eyes met, she felt her face growing hot, though she could not think why she felt embarrassed.

"He's a friend," she said. "Or at least, I think of him as a friend. I'm not sure how he feels about me, he barely used to notice me before. Like I said, he's difficult to get close to… I know that he's very close to you though, Lady Mukuro."

"Hiei has been in my service for some time now," Mukuro replied. "He is my top warrior and closest confidant."

"I see…"

Botan looked over at Hiei again. He really was attacking Yusuke hard, and she realised then why: Hiei was still ashamed of himself for losing to Mukuro the day they had fought, and he was trying to best Yusuke in order to impress her. That made sense to Botan because it was an irrational and reckless thing to do, and irrational and reckless strategies were the sort Botan had often resorted to over the years in her attempts to win Yusuke's favour.

"Closest confidant?" she asked quietly, keeping her eyes on Hiei as she spoke. "Well then you are lucky. Hiei never confides anything in me, or any of my friends. I think he might have sometimes confided in Yusuke and Kurama, but even then barely so. I think you're very fortunate to be close to Hiei, he doesn't give of himself to just anyone, he must think very highly of you to consider you to be deserving of such attention."

"You don't think I am deserving of Hiei's trust and loyalty?" Mukuro asked.

Botan turned to face her, feeling oddly calm as she spoke her reply.

"I'm sure you are deserving of Hiei's trust and loyalty, but are you deserving of his heart?"

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** Botan's ballsy words continue, and, in the foray of their "sparring session" Hiei and Yusuke have a few things to say to each other too. After some more awkwardness, things seem to calm down and both Botan and Hiei get what they had always wanted – but because this is a Lucretia Decoy fic, it doesn't end there… **Chapter 13 – Moment of Truth**


	13. Moment of Truth

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, it's nice to know people are still reading, especially those who have been reading from the beginning – thanks for your patience during my 7-8 week absence while I was fangirling over Ashes.

After reading the reviews though, I can see I have once again successfully written something really contentious, because the next few chapters are really going to divide people's opinions: you're either going to love where this goes or hate it, because, depending on your view of the whole story, it's either a sort of bittersweet happy ending or it's a sort of short-changed sad ending.

**Recap:** Kuwabara was suspicious of Botan and Yusuke took Botan out for a dinner date, but their romantic moonlit walk was disturbed by the arrival of Hiei. Botan was surprisingly brave in front of Mukuro and Hiei and Yusuke just starting kicking the crap out of each other.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 13 – Moment of Truth**

"Hey, didn't we already have this conversation?" Yusuke snapped.

Hiei remained expressionless and continued relentlessly attacking Yusuke as though he had not said a word.

"Damn it, Hiei!" Yusuke yelled. "If you keep taking these sparring sessions so seriously, I'm gonna start fighting back for real too!"

Yusuke cried out as Hiei managed to connect with a punch that made his head snap back. As he reeled from the blow, Yusuke managed to kick one of Hiei's legs out from under him, and both staggered back from each other. Yusuke turned to Hiei, who, apart from being a little sweaty and bloody, and his chest heaving, did not really look as though he had been affected by their fight at all. He still had the same glower in his eyes and stiffness about his stance.

"Hey, Hiei, come on!" Yusuke tried. "Relax! We're friends, right? And besides, you're making me look bad in front of Botan!"

"I doubt that," Hiei quietly replied.

Yusuke straightened and dragged the back of one hand across his brow to clear the sweat gathering there.

"I was sort of here on a date with her," he explained. "We had dinner, and I was taking her for a walk here, and then you showed up right at the part where I was supposed to put a flower in her hair and then make out with her."

"Hn," Hiei responded.

"…So, uh, maybe we could make this less bloody, and maybe you could even let me get a few good shots in – or even just fake it – to make me look good, and then you can get back to whatever it was you were doing with your girlfriend, and I can get back to mine."

"The ferry girl is your love interest now? What happened, did you get bored of the human woman?"

Yusuke's face dropped.

"That was low," he said.

"You almost look hurt," Hiei responded, twitching slightly as he spoke.

"That was a hurtful thing to say," Yusuke pointed out.

"I wasn't aware that words could hurt," Hiei replied. "And I'm especially surprised that they can hurt you: you've never been especially gentle when you've been addressing the woman you're now claiming is your lover."

Yusuke frowned.

"What?" he muttered.

"You heard me."

Yusuke paused, too confused to think of how he should respond. However, he did not linger that way for long, as Hiei shortly began attacking him again. Again struggling to avoid being on the receiving end of a blow clearly not delivered in a sporting manner, Yusuke's energy was consumed with holding Hiei at bay and trying to find an opening to hit back. Eventually one such opening came, and Yusuke gladly took it, punching Hiei as forcefully as he could in the brief window of opportunity he had. He managed to hit Hiei's jaw and sent him staggering back, but not before receiving a desperate fist jabbed at his ribs.

"What the hell is your problem?" Yusuke demanded as Hiei steadied himself.

Hiei spat and narrowed his eyes, but said nothing.

"You're acting like I'm the one who's been behaving like an ass," Yusuke pointed out.

Hiei still remained silent, and Yusuke began to lose his patience.

"Come on, Hiei!" he said. "Try using your words to tell us how you feel instead of your fists."

"Don't talk down to me," Hiei growled back.

"Well, at least it got you to start talking again," Yusuke pointed out.

"You're a fool."

"You say that about everybody you meet."

"You're a blind fool."

"My vision was twenty-twenty the last time I checked."

"Idiot, I don't mean it literally!"

"So start using your words and tell me what's really going on?"

"You're selfish."

"I could say the same about you."

"There's no honour in what you're doing."

"Which would be…?"

"Toying with the heart of that girl!"

Yusuke's eyebrows shot up, and he no longer cared how ridiculously surprised he looked.

"This is about Botan?" he asked. "You're mad at me because I'm on a date with Botan?"

Hiei twitched slightly.

"Really?" Yusuke said, his voice rising in pitch in his disbelief. "I…I had no idea you had feelings for Botan – I mean, I guess maybe you got a crush on her while you were spending time with her in demon world recently, but–"

"Idiot, it's not like that!" Hiei interrupted him. "You're a disgrace to demon world! It's your stupidity that I'm angry about! That girl is an idiot, and you've taken advantage of her stupidity and her weak heart, and it's not becoming of a demon to behave like that!"

"Wait… You're not angry because I'm on a date with Botan, you're angry because Botan is on a date with me…?"

"What?"

"…This is about your feelings for me?"

Yusuke yelped and barely caught Hiei's fist in the palm of his hand before it collided with his eye.

"Was I right?" he asked.

"You're a fool," Hiei snarled, wrestling his fist free of Yusuke's hold

"So this isn't about you secretly having feelings for me?" Yusuke asked.

"Absolutely it is not," Hiei flatly replied.

Yusuke nodded slowly.

"Well good," he concluded. "Though I still don't understand what this really is about. You're really mad about something – and I mean more so than usual, and–"

Yusuke ducked out of range as Hiei again swung a fist at him: apparently their conversation, as brief and uninformative as it had been, was over.

**

* * *

**

Mukuro's features tightened and her back straightened. She was, instinctively, taking on a more intimidating stance and appearance, but the creature in front of her seemed oblivious: was that arrogant and misguided bravery or was it just plain stupidity?

"What are you implying, girl?" she asked.

The girl smiled humourlessly, but lost none of the strangely calm and confident gleam from her eyes.

"I didn't mean to offend," she said. "I just wanted to be sure that you understood how rewarding a relationship with Hiei could be."

"I already have a relationship with Hiei: one that has less than nothing to do with you," Mukuro quietly pointed out.

"I also didn't mean to intrude."

Mukuro arched her eyebrows and the girl bowed her head slightly.

"Well, maybe I did just a little," she conceded. "I worry about Hiei – I worry about all my friends – but I especially worry about Hiei's happiness, because he finds it a lot harder to let himself be happy. I think he'd be very happy with you, and I think you'd be happy with him too. I just don't know if you realise that or not."

"You presume to understand my feelings better than I do?" Mukuro challenged.

"Of course not," the ferry girl quickly replied, shaking her head as she spoke. "It just makes me so sad to think that the only love Hiei has in his life is unrequited."

"This is demon world, Hiei is a demon, there is no place for your spirit world romanticism here or in Hiei's life."

"Love doesn't have to mean flowers and dancing in the moonlight. It's different for everyone. And people express their love differently. I think maybe Hiei has been expressing love for you and you haven't noticed."

"You're very persistent, meddlesome and presumptuous."

"I hope you do notice. And I hope you appreciate it. And I hope that, maybe one day, you'll reciprocate his feelings."

Mukuro clenched her jaws together to stop her face from twisting. She had never stood before such a weak creature and not have it urinate itself and fall apart with fear, and, despite trying her best to impress on the ferry girl that her words and opinions were unwelcome, the idiot was still showing no signs of backing down.

"You seem very sure of your theory," she said.

"I've never been surer of anything else," the ferry girl replied.

Mukuro nodded.

"Well thank you for sharing that with me," she said.

The ferry girl nodded and smiled cheerfully.

"And I'll thank you to keep any other opinions or ideas you have to yourself from now on," Mukuro added sternly.

The ferry girl's smile vanished.

**

* * *

**

"You're still staring at me like you want to kill me, Hiei."

Yusuke waited for Hiei to say something or to at least soften his glower slightly, but he did neither. Yusuke sighed, silently hoping that he did not look as untidy as Hiei now did – not that being sweaty and having tears and the occasional bloodstain in his clothing was a look he was not accustomed to, just that it was not really the look he wanted to have that night.

"I guess we're still quite evenly matched, huh?" he tried, hoping to calm Hiei down with flattery.

"Hn, idiot," Hiei replied. "Clearly you're still my superior in strength – but only barely, and I'm still faster than you."

Yusuke smiled.

"I don't think I'll ever be as fast as you, Hiei," he said.

"Or as slow."

"What?"

Hiei turned his head away, leaving Yusuke wondering what he had meant. He had never heard Hiei refer to himself as slow before, mostly because his super-speed was something he liked to brag about.

"She's an idiot, she's weak, she's loud and she's honest to a fault," Hiei said, keeping his head turned from Yusuke. "But you could probably do a lot worse, you know."

Yusuke frowned at the back of Hiei's head before following the direction he seemed to be facing, finding Botan and Mukuro standing some distance away looking back at them.

"Botan?" he asked, moving his eyes back to the back of Hiei's head.

"She has healing powers, she could probably even be useful," Hiei added.

"Botan's my best friend," Yusuke said. "She's been my friend for years, and I've spent more time with her than I have with anyone else. And I know she's dumb sometimes, and maybe she's a bit too nosy and she nags a lot, but she's loyal and she looks after me."

"Well you should try to remember that."

"I do remember that!"

Hiei stood up abruptly, casting a shadow over where Yusuke was still sat.

"You could do a lot worse," he said again.

Yusuke started to argue, but Hiei turned his back on him and started off towards the others, and so Yusuke fell silent again, watching in a state of bemusement as Botan left Mukuro and began jogging back towards where he was sat, and Hiei continued taking long, slow strides towards Mukuro. Botan slowed as Hiei neared her, turning to him as though she intended to say something, but Hiei kept his head forward and kept walking, quickly leaving her behind. She looked back over her shoulder, watching him a little longer, before turning to Yusuke again and hurrying over to join him.

"Oh my goodness!" she gushed, dropping to her knees at his side. "You look like you've been in a fight with an enemy, not a little impromptu sparring session with a good friend!"

"I feel like I've been in a fight with an enemy instead of a little imp… That other thing you said," Yusuke replied.

"Well, I suppose it can't be helped," Botan replied with a sigh. "You know Hiei: he never does things by half."

"I let him get a few shots in so that he wouldn't look bad in front of Mukuro," Yusuke lied, hoping that Botan would believe him.

"He never quits until the job is done," she said, apparently having not even heard Yusuke's last remark.

"Well, sometimes he ought to lighten up and relax a little."

"He just keeps going, giving it everything he has until that he's absolutely sure that the job is done."

"He shouldn't be so confident, because maybe one day I'll be that serious at one of our sparring sessions."

"He has a way of just taking command of a situation and he's not happy until he hears screaming."

"Right, exactly – wait, what? I wasn't screaming!"

"Neither was I! Lord Koenma is a liar!"

Yusuke shirked back slightly. Botan looked suddenly furious, embarrassed and upset all at once.

"I didn't say you were screaming, Botan," he pointed out. "You said Hiei doesn't stop until he hears screaming, and I definitely didn't scream just now. In fact, I've never screamed in my entire life."

"Well I've certainly never screamed either," she haughtily replied.

"You've screamed plenty of times, Botan, sometimes right in my ear."

"…When?"

"Whenever a spider drops down from a tree."

"The spiders in demon world are as big as me, of course that makes me scream!"

"I don't like you screaming in my face though."

Botan took on a slightly strange look – almost a look of dejection – but she shortly covered it with a smile.

"Well, we really should get you cleaned up," she said cheerfully.

"Yeah, I guess tonight didn't exactly turn out the way I expected it to."

Botan nodded and rolled up her sleeves, readying herself to work her healing magic on Yusuke's injuries.

"I should leave soon," she said. "I have to work, and I really should try to sleep a little before I start another shift."

"Sure," he agreed. "But, you know, me and Mukuro decided to have a sort of formal party, and maybe you should come back in time for that, okay?"

"A formal party?"

"Yeah, like a party but with shirts and ties."

"A ball?"

"No, not a ball, just a formal sort of party."

"A ball!"

"Not a ball."

"Oh how exciting, a ball!"

"It's not a ball!"

"I've always wanted to go to a ball…"

"It's not a damn ball, Botan!"

"I'll need to get some new clothes…"

"Okay, but it's not a ball, so don't go getting all Cinderella on me."

Botan finally met Yusuke's eyes again, and seemed to focus.

"Cinderella?" she asked.

"Yeah, you know," he replied. "Running away at midnight because the spell that keeps your dress on stops working."

Botan rolled her eyes.

"That's naughty," she said. "I promise I'll still be in my dress at midnight."

"…We'll see how the night goes."

Botan looked surprised and a little flustered, but Yusuke simply grinned back at her suggestively.

**

* * *

**

"Stop fidgeting."

"I don't like being made to dress like this. It's uncomfortable and unnecessary."

"But you look good."

Hiei faltered and tried to hide his awkwardness behind another tug at the collar of his shirt. He did hate dressing formally for anything and had rarely done so in his life – in fact, he had only ever dressed formally at Mukuro's request, just as he was now – but maybe the discomfort would be worth it this time around.

"I don't see the point of all of this," he added.

"It's just an act to appease the malcontents," Mukuro replied. "We have to show face, but we don't have to stay here all night."

Hiei turned to look directly at Mukuro upon her last remark, and found her smiling slyly at him, a suggestive and slightly dark look in her eyes. A part of him wanted to be pleased, because suddenly, after years of trying to seduce Mukuro, she seemed to finally be returning his feelings, but a far larger part of him was confused. He was confused because she had changed her mind and because, in a way, he had never really expected that she would. He had no other reason to be confused. Maybe.

"A couple of hours at the most," she added. "I have a room reserved in the hotel across the street."

"So I have to return home alone dressed like this?" Hiei asked sourly.

"I thought you would want to stay in the hotel with me," Mukuro replied.

"You got a room for me too?"

"I didn't think I needed to."

Hiei tugged at his collar again. It sounded as though Mukuro was inviting him to share a hotel room with her that night, but that seemed too good to be true. He was waiting for Yusuke to leap out from behind a chair somewhere and tell him that the whole thing was one big joke he had planned with Mukuro just to see the look on his face.

"Don't worry, I'm as eager to leave this place as you are," Mukuro continued. "I promise we won't stay here any longer than need be."

Hiei was still a little confused and dazed, but he hid his feelings as best he could behind a mask of neutrality. He reasoned that he would find out exactly what Mukuro's intentions were once the night was over, and until that time, all he had to do was find something to distract himself with and keep his mind from wandering and questioning. He looked around the room, seeing nothing but scores of demons in clothes as ridiculously formal as his own, and unfortunately nothing that would occupy his thoughts for any length of time.

On his second scan of the room, Hiei noticed one thing different to everything else around him: at the other side of the room stood one figure that seemed to almost be illuminated amongst the others. He stopped, letting his eyes linger unblinkingly for a long time, only looking away again when he realised that the individual he was watching had started looking back at him. He turned his head and found himself once more facing Mukuro, who looked slightly confused. She turned and looked out in the direction he had been staring.

"Oh, Yusuke's here," she concluded.

Hiei turned to look again, and this time he noticed that Yusuke was in fact accompanying the other person who had caught his attention: which of course made sense, and yet somehow still seemed strange. Yusuke had noticed Hiei and Mukuro and was waving at them. He then started across the room, dragging his partner with him by the hand. As they drew closer, the woman at his side looked increasingly bewildered, but despite that, she was still quite the radiant sight to behold.

"Hey, looking good, Mukuro!" Yusuke said as he stopped in front of them.

"Thanks," Mukuro replied, her face twisting slightly as though she thought he was mocking her.

"And hey, I see you managed to shoe-horn Hiei into something presentable too!" Yusuke added.

From the corner of his eyes, Hiei could see Yusuke was looking directly at him, and he knew that Yusuke's insolence deserved at least some form of rebuttal, but he was unable to take his eyes off of the girl in front of him, and so he remained silent.

"That's a very unique outfit you have on," Mukuro said.

"Oh, I, um…" Botan began, looking down at herself bashfully. "I made it myself. Do you like it?"

"It's very quaint," Mukuro replied.

"Q-Quaint?" Botan echoed, frowning slightly.

"That the best word to describe it," Mukuro flatly replied. "Wouldn't you agree, Hiei?"

Hiei grunted at the sound of his name and his head twitched slightly as he tried to turn it, but apparently the ferry girl had learned some sort of bewitching enchantment since they had last met, as he was still unable to look away from her.

"Hiei?" Mukuro pressed.

"What?" he asked, his eyes still on Botan.

"What word would you use to describe how she looks?"

"Stunning."

Botan's eyes widened slightly and Hiei distinctly saw her body tense. He had not really meant to say that word out loud, but he supposed that he had no choice in the matter, since he was under her spell. She did look quite magnificent though, he thought to himself. If she really had made her gown herself, clearly she had made it with a specific objective in mind, because it seemed to flow around her, loose and easy in some places and clinging alluringly in others. It showed far more of the shape of her body than her typical ferry girl outfit ever had, and presumably that had been a deliberate ploy on her part, as her dress was not the only thing about her that had been styled to attract attention: the gloss on her lips, the hint of colour in her cheeks and the lining around her eyes had all obviously been added with the intent of making her appear more desirable.

"Uh, yeah," Yusuke said after a brief – and possibly awkward – silence. "Yeah, she cleans up not too bad, huh?"

"She's perfect," Hiei said, his eyes still on Botan.

She frowned slightly at his response, but then covered it behind a smile.

"You look rather dapper yourself, Mister Hiei," she said, her voice slightly strained. "I never thought I'd ever see you in such formal clothing."

She touched a hand to his chest, her fingers smoothing down his shirt. The feeling of the pressure of her fingers, the closeness of her and the smell of her were quickly reminding Hiei of exactly what he had been doing with her lately, and he had to swallow down a growl of desire. He wondered if, although he had managed to keep the noise from escaping his throat, Botan had still felt it rumbling in his chest, as she seemed to suddenly realise what she was doing, and she jerked, her eyes doubling in size, and she quickly retracted her hand.

"I hope you have a lovely evening," she said tightly, looking up at him.

Her face had changed, a little of that defiance she usually showed around him returning to her eyes.

"We probably won't be staying long," Mukuro answered her.

"Ditto," Yusuke replied.

Hiei turned from Botan in time to catch Yusuke and Mukuro exchanging knowing looks, and it was enough to distract him from the sudden appearance of the unfairly appetising ferry girl. He glared at Mukuro expectantly, but she kept her head turned from him until Yusuke and Botan had moved out of earshot.

"Relax Hiei," she then said, turning to look at him.

"I don't appreciate being played for a fool," he replied.

"Nobody's playing you for anything," she calmly answered.

"There's something going on between the two of you."

"Me and Yusuke?"

"Yes, you and Yusuke."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I saw the way you were looking at him just then: like you were sharing some sort of private joke at my expense."

Mukuro's face changed slightly, and for a brief and horrible moment, Hiei thought that his accusations were about to be proved correct.

"Yusuke and I didn't just discuss politics during our meetings," she said carefully. "He also spoke about his time in the living world, and his former lover there. I think he thought I was a mother-figure or some sort of therapist, because he told me far more than I wanted to hear, and I answered him the only way I knew how to: honestly."

"What did you tell him?" Hiei pressed.

"I told him that he was an idiot," Mukuro flatly replied. "He had lost that human woman a long time ago, and instead of leaving her to live her life and thinking only of the good memories he had of his time with her, he was lingering on the bad and the outside hope that she might because immortal and want him back. And, all the while, he had a perfectly loyal companion at his side. He was making a fool out of that girl – although clearly she is something of a fool anyway – and I told him he ought to open his eyes."

"…You're the reason Yusuke is suddenly interested in the ferry girl?"

"And listening to him talk about her, and how she shadowed his every move, and sought to win his approval, it made me realise that Yusuke's situation was not so different to my own. And, I suppose, that ferry girl's situation was not so different to yours, Hiei."

Hiei hesitated, unsure what sort of response Mukuro expected of him: after all, she had just compared him to that pathetic ferry girl, always following after her unrequited love interest, and that was quite insulting. It was also maybe slightly true in some respects, but it was still insulting.

"And I thought that maybe I ought to practise what I preach."

Hiei started to ask Mukuro what she meant, but his voice faded as she stepped closer to him and stretched up, kissing his cheek. He blinked at her owlishly as she leaned back, and apparently his bafflement amused her, as she smirked confidently back at him.

"In case we get separated before the end of the night, I'm in room 1471."

"Oh…" Hiei muttered softly.

"Be there," Mukuro added.

"Oh," he said, adopting a smirk of his own.

Apparently, against all odds, his most optimistic hope had just become a reality: Mukuro had finally decided to accept him as her lover.

**

* * *

**

"The chandeliers are just lovely," Botan said.

Yusuke grunted.

"And the curtains are fabulous."

Yusuke grunted.

"Oh and isn't the food just divine? Who catered this event? Do they have catering companies in demon world? Oh dear, or were we served by slaves? I never really learned the intricate details of demon world culture such as class, or hierarchy of the–"

"Botan, you're rambling," Yusuke cut her off.

"I-I am?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied, taking her face in his hands. "I know why you're nervous, but you don't have to be. You've trusted me with your life before, you can trust me with this."

Botan paused. She was confused. Nothing Yusuke was saying was making any sense, and the way he was looking at her was not helping her confusion, as he seemed to be looking at her in an almost loving way.

"I know you've led a pretty sheltered life in spirit world," he continued. "And I know tonight will be your first time, but don't worry about it. Keiko says it doesn't hurt half as bad as everyone else makes out it will. And besides, I'll go easy on you."

Botan frowned slightly.

"Maybe you should have a drink before we go," Yusuke added. "It'll help you calm down, and I hear it loosens things up down here."

Botan choked on air. She quickly pretended to look outraged at Yusuke's rather tactless comment, deciding that it was best to hide her real feelings behind anger, and to deflect blame away from herself: after all, facing the truth meant thinking about actually having sex with Yusuke and the fear that he might notice that it would only be her first time with him, and not her first experience ever.

"Yusuke!" she said, stepping back out of his hold. "How could you say something so rude to a lady?"

"Aw, come on Botan!" he said, rolling his eyes. "You've known me long enough to know that I tell it like it is, and I've known you long enough to know that you're no lady."

"How could you say that?"

"Come on, don't be mad at me."

"I am a lady!"

"You do a good job of looking like one."

"Stop insulting me!"

"You look hot?"

Botan sighed. It was not exactly the most charming compliment she had ever received, but, coming from Yusuke, it meant a lot. She smiled in spite of herself and stepped closer to him again.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said.

"Well, I think we're about done pretending we want to be here," Yusuke replied, taking one of her hands in his. "Are you ready to go?"

Botan looked down at her hand in his.

"Come on, I got us a really nice room in that hotel I was staying at with Mukuro," he added.

Botan nodded and lifted her eyes to Yusuke's in time to see him smile. It was a friendly, heart-warming smile, and it made her smile too: but it did not give her the sense of comfort and peace of mind she had been looking for. Something was still bothering her, and she still felt tense. She reasoned it was probably guilt: she felt guilty that she had saved herself for Yusuke for so long only to waste her purity on that ungrateful monster Hiei.

Though at least she did not have to worry about fearing what the night ahead would feel like, she thought.

"Let's go," she said softly.

Yusuke nodded and began leading her towards the exit.

"Keiko was really nervous the first time too," he said as they walked. "And that was my first time too, and I had no idea how to make it any easier on her. Or on me. Ha, it was like something out of a college frat boys movie!"

"Are you telling me about your first time with your ex-girlfriend before your first time with me?" Botan asked.

"Well, Keiko was your friend too, I thought it might help you understand that's not really anything to be scared of," Yusuke casually replied.

"Rather inappropriate, though…" Botan muttered. "You don't hear me telling you about my first time with Hiei…"

"What?"

Yusuke looked back over his shoulder at Botan and, in the space of barely five seconds, she felt her face turn cold as the colour drained from it, and then the burning sensation of a blush following immediately behind.

"Oh, nothing," she replied dismissively.

"Okay…"

Botan kept quiet then, following obediently after Yusuke to the hotel, which was mercifully nearby. He collected their room key from the reception desk and guided Botan to the elevators, where they had the good luck of catching an elevator up almost immediately.

"Top floor," Yusuke said as he pressed the button and the doors began to close. "Best rooms in the hotel."

"Well that's very sweet of you," Botan replied nervously. "We could have just stayed in your tower."

"I, uh, probably need to tidy my room there first," Yusuke mumbled.

"I've seen it before, Yusuke," Botan pointed out.

"Yeah, but you weren't my girlfriend before."

Botan paused, hearing Yusuke call her his girlfriend momentarily making her lose her grip of reality.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

She nodded and stumbled closer to him, throwing her arms around his waist. She really just wanted to hold him, but he apparently misread her actions as her seeking to start their night of passion a little early, and his hands quickly began grabbing at her. She squeaked in surprise, her body tensing at his touch.

"Don't be so rough!" she complained, her voice muffled against his chest.

"You just need to relax," he replied.

Botan started to argue that he was in danger of tearing her clothes, but her voice was cut off when he grabbed her hair and tugged her head back, quickly covering her lips with his. It was an abrupt, clumsy and mildly desperate gesture, and Botan knew that it was probably only tense and awkward because Yusuke was nervous: but she could not seem to excuse it completely. She had always imagined kissing Yusuke to be something wonderful, but that was yet to prove to be the case. She was torn between pushing him off and trying to ignore her reservations. She wanted to forgive his awkwardness and love him all the more for it, but at the same time, she wanted the perfection she had always dreamed of – and she knew that it was possible for a kiss to feel heavenly, because it had felt that way with Hiei, and she did not even like him.

When the doors of the elevator pinged open, Botan was mostly relieved. Yusuke broke the contact between them and together they stumbled out into the hallway, Botan moving awkwardly in her bid to put a little distance between them whilst she calmed herself down and Yusuke inadvertently tripping over one of her ankles. She turned to ask him if he was alright as he steadied himself, but when she saw the look on his face she stopped. He was watching something with an amused smirk, and, even before she turned to see what had caught his attention, Botan already knew she was not going to like it.

**

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** Botan takes Yusuke on a driving lesson and elsewhere Hiei is feeling a little deflated. But, one pile of dirty laundry and a healthy dose of denial later, and the evening turns out very differently for all concerned. **Chapter 14 – Hands Clean**

**A/N:** It is just me, or are the "next chapter" bits always way more interesting than the actual next chapters? Anyway, the romance element of the fic is/was loosely based on the film "French Kiss", so if anyone has seen that movie, you probably know exactly what's going to happen in the next chapter. You might even be able to guess where this is all going to end. Or not…

**PS:** I'm focusing on finishing this fic first, but once I'm done, I'm going to get my head back into my other unfinished YuYu fics (My Downfall:AE, In Your Shoes and Anything I Do). I can't promise I'll finish those as quickly, but I'm going to at least update them all!


	14. Hands Clean

**A/N: So be prepared to be divided, because this chapter is pretty much what this fic is really all about…**

**Recap:** Botan and Hiei very (bravely? stupidly?) tried to help each other by trying to convince Mukuro and Yusuke that they were missing out on the love of their lives. And all seemed well when Mukuro invited Hiei to spend the night with her and Yusuke became especially amorous with Botan: but if history teaches us anything it's that these sorts of twists always happen near the end of my fics and rarely result in anything of any substance…

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 14: Hands Clean**

Hiei knew she was watching him. He was not really sure why she felt the need to stare like that, but he knew that, as soon as Mukuro had finished fumbling with the keys and opened the damn hotel room door, they could both move into the room out of the ferry girl's line of sight, and the problem would be over.

Because, unfortunately, the ferry girl's presence was proving to be a problem.

It was not that she looked so especially delicious – even though she did look quite irresistible that night – because Hiei had managed to see past her looks and force himself to think about what an idiot she was to allow himself to forget about her and focus on the woman he did actually want to be with, the woman who was not a demanding, indecisive idiot: Mukuro. It was not the way Botan looked that was the problem, it was not really even the fact that she was watching, it was more just that her presence was a stark reminder to Hiei of exactly what he had been doing behind Mukuro's back recently. He doubted Mukuro would look upon him too favourably if she ever found out that he had been secretly having a dirty little affair with Yusuke's spirit world side-kick, and the thought of Mukuro ever finding out was a worrying one. So worrying, that it was becoming distracting.

Hiei wanted to just kick down the stupid room door – but doing so meant sleeping in a room with no door and probably angering Mukuro when they were later billed for the repairs by the hotel proprietor. He wanted to turn and yell at the ferry girl for staring at him. Why was she staring? She was acting like she had never seen two people kissing before, which was ridiculous, because Hiei had caught her watching Yusuke and Keiko engaging in far more intimate acts in the past. And surely she had better things to do with her time, like rejoice over the fact that Yusuke had finally conceded to take her as his lover.

When Mukuro finally did manage to open the hotel room door, Hiei smiled as she shoved him into the room ahead of her, feeling relieved at last to be away from Botan. Mukuro shut and locked the door behind her, giving him a look he had almost thought he would never see her wear. It was a look he had hoped to one day inspire in her, and the reality was even more divine than anything he had conjured up in his own imagination. It was a look that, on its own, ought to have been enough to fix the little problem seeing the ferry girl had started, but strangely that was proving not to be the case.

"You seem tense," Mukuro said as she began moving towards Hiei. "Are you nervous?"

She was smiling as she asked the question, presumably, he thought, because she had meant it as a joke, knowing that usually he would have snapped at such a blow to his pride: but maybe she was right. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe nerves were the problem as much as that blue-haired idiot was

"Hiei…"

"What?"

"Why are you backing away from me?"

"I'm not… Doing that. I'm just–"

Hiei's voice cut off as one of his legs collided with the wardrobe. Mukuro arched her eyebrows expectant of an explanation, but Hiei did not even attempt to answer, as he did not even know why he had been backing away from her himself. He supposed he was trying to delay the contact between them, trying to prevent her from finding out about his problem, trying to buy himself time to rectify it before it became a much bigger problem.

"I never thought you would be nervous about facing any sort of challenge," Mukuro said. "It's not an attractive quality, Hiei."

"I'm not nervous!" he snapped defensively.

"I hope not," she replied. "Because I would be very disappointed if you were. You don't want to disappoint me, do you Hiei?"

Hiei felt a line of sweat bursting from his pores along the top of his forehead: did she already know? Obviously she did. Obviously she was already disappointed, and this was her way of warning him to sort himself out.

"Take off your clothes."

"No."

Mukuro tilted her head and frowned. She was looking less and less aroused and more and more confused and irritated by the second.

"Take them off, or I'll rip them off, and you'll have to travel home naked," she growled.

"Don't you want to do some foreplay first?" Hiei tried.

"What?" Mukuro snapped.

"I thought you women liked all that touchy-feely crap?"

"Any kind of meaningful sexual contact involves nudity, idiot, now get undressed."

Hiei slowly removed his dinner jacket and dropped it over the back of a nearby chair.

"There are some sexual things we could do that don't need me to be naked," he said, in one last, desperate bid to distract her.

"…You always did have a very strange and inappropriate sense of humour," she muttered.

"But I–"

Hiei's voice dissolved into a groan of shock and pain as Mukuro speared him to the ground. A struggle ensued, which on Hiei's part mostly involved him trying to keep his clothes on and trying to keep Mukuro's hands above his waist. She was merciless however, and made short work of shredding apart his shirt and tearing open his pants. Somehow amidst the struggle, he managed to scramble free from under her, leaving her clinging to his pants, staring at them in confusion as though she could not quite understand why he was not still in them. As he staggered back from her he silently thanked that idiot Kiri for advising him to wear underwear that night – Kiri had given some lame excuse for it involving cleanliness, but Hiei was mostly thankful that, for once, he had listened to something someone else had suggested and that it had proved helpful.

"Why are you so nervous?" Mukuro asked, dropping Hiei's pants and standing up.

"I'm not nervous," he quickly replied. "Hn, such a ridiculous… Notion…"

"The only thing that's ridiculous around here, is how nervous you are," Mukuro insisted.

"I'm not nervous," Hiei insisted, awkwardly catching a crystal jug as he staggered into the mini-bar.

"You're suspiciously nervous…" Mukuro said in a low voice.

"I'm not nervous!" Hiei snapped, roughly replacing the jug.

"Worried you can't handle this?"

Hiei grunted and grabbed at the edge of the bar behind him as Mukuro tore open her outfit to demonstrate her point – apparently she had decided against taking Kiri's advice that night. He had, of course, seen her naked before, but it had been a long time since he had last laid eyes on her in all her glory, and then it had been more as part of a trust exercise rather than the blatant offering it was now. He licked lips and sidled along the length of the bar, grunting in surprised when he found his back against the wall at the end of it.

"You're backing away from me again," Mukuro pointed out. "Playing hard to get doesn't suit you, Hiei. And it's a bit late for that sort of coy behaviour now."

Hiei bit back a smile. Maybe he was nervous that he wanted to smile at such an inappropriate moment, he conceded, but he mostly wanted to smile in amusement, because Mukuro's accusation reminded him of that idiot ferry girl, always acting all coy and demure, only to turn into a fiery hellcat at the slightest touch.

"What are you thinking about?" Mukuro asked him.

Hiei snapped to attention, and again he felt sweat forming on his brow. Mukuro had stepped out of her clothes and started towards him, and he sensed he would not be able to keep her at bay for much longer: which was rather unfortunate, as he had yet to fix his little problem. He hoped that she was asking what he was thinking because she expected an answer and not because she had already read his mind and she was testing to see if he would lie to her or not.

"I'm thinking I hated wearing those clothes and I'm glad to be out of them," he tried, hoping to at least amuse – if not also distract – her with his response.

"Then let's finish the job, shall we?" Mukuro replied.

"Wha-ah!"

Hiei jerked as Mukuro tore off his boxer shorts in one swift movement. He knew that he was fast enough that he probably could have moved his hands to cover what he was still trying to hide from her, but he also knew that doing so would probably only make the situation all the worse, because she was going to find out the truth eventually anyway, and so he stood still before her, his arms at his sides and his eyes on hers. She stood before him, one hand holding up the tattered remains of his underwear, her eyes looking pointedly at his crotch. It was not a glare, she did not seem angry, confused or even accusatory, but there was a faint sense of disappointment about her.

"You are nervous," she eventually said, lifting her eyes to his.

Hiei started to shake his head but then quickly stopped himself. It was embarrassing to admit to being nervous in such a situation, but it was downright humiliating admitting to the real facts.

"Maybe," he conceded.

"Why?" she asked. "I don't understand. You've wanted this for a long, long time."

"I don't know," he lied.

"Don't give me that," she warned. "I've seen you get outrageously aroused just watching me shadow boxing. Now you expect me to believe that when I offer myself to you unconditionally that's the best you can manage?"

Hiei flinched as Mukuro pointed an accusing finger at his decidedly limp member.

"I'm just not warmed up yet," he said faintly.

"Excuse me?" Mukuro echoed. "You're a man, Hiei! You don't need "warming up"! You should just – wait, that comment you made about foreplay earlier, that was for you? You're telling me you need half an hour of pointless fumbling and empty gestures of false romance to put you in the mood?"

"No!"

"Then what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't know!"

"…I think you do know. You started acting strange when I was opening the door to this room: what changed?"

"You know damn well what changed!"

"No I don't!"

"We weren't alone out there!"

Mukuro's face changed so abruptly, Hiei almost felt less ashamed of himself.

"We weren't?" she asked quietly.

She looked genuinely surprised.

"Don't tell me you didn't see or at least sense Yusuke standing watching us?"

Mukuro slowly shook her head.

"How is that possible?" Hiei muttered, more thinking aloud than asking the question of her.

"I, unlike you Hiei, was caught up in my own desire," she replied regardless. "My attention was solely focused on you. If you had been as committed as I was, you wouldn't have noticed Yusuke, his army or the sky falling down around you. That's what real passion does to a demon, idiot."

Hiei gave a short, sharp growl at the insult, but otherwise let it pass without retaliation.

"Besides, that's a pretty weak excuse," Mukuro continued. "Especially coming from you Hiei, someone who never makes excuses for anything."

"I wasn't making an excuse," Hiei argued.

"Are you jealous of Yusuke?"

"What?"

"You spied on me during my meetings with him, and you've been in a pissy mood ever since I began meeting with him and didn't invite you along. What bothers you more: the fact that I didn't ask you to join us or the fact that he got more of my attention than you did for a few measly weeks?"

"I'm not that petty!"

"Answer me Hiei. Say something. Say anything. I need a damn good reason why for you can't "rise to the occasion" tonight because if you can't give me a decent reason, I might get insulted. You don't want to insult me, do you Hiei?"

Hiei swallowed hard.

"I'm nervous," he said tightly.

"Afraid you can't satisfy me?" she asked.

Hiei nodded stiffly. It was far from the truth and wounding to admit to, but at least it seemed to appease Mukuro. Honestly, he had no idea why he was having his little problem. It had never, ever happened to him before, and it was something he had never even considered might happen to him in the future either: but telling Mukuro that he did not really know why the thought of having sex with her did not turn him on was far worse than pretending to be worried about his own incompetency as a lover.

"I'm disappointed," Mukuro concluded, folding her arms over her chest.

She shifted her weight to one foot, pushing out one hip slightly and adopting a strong, determined stance that would have once had him fighting back the urge to pounce on her and claim her as his own: but still he felt strangely cold and detached, and still his member remained infuriatingly unresponsive. Maybe he was sick, he mused. Maybe he had caught a disease off of that wretched ferry girl.

"If you're not sleeping with me tonight, then you're not sleeping here tonight," Mukuro added.

Hiei looked about himself, the slow realisation that he was being evicted from the room dawning on him.

"Get it up, or get out," Mukuro added, erasing any shred of doubt there may have been on the matter.

Hiei took a step forwards, and Mukuro took one last look at his groin before releasing a vicious snarl and throwing his torn pants at him. Hiei quickly caught them and started for the door, managing to grab his dinner jacket en route. Mukuro managed to skim the back of one of his thighs with her heel as he stumbled out of the door into the hallway beyond, but he did not hesitate. He kept running, hurriedly pulling on his pants and tying together the ripped remains of the waistband. He pulled on his jacket and leapt through the door to the stairwell, where he rapidly made his way down to the ground floor. Leaving the hotel entirely did not seem like the best idea, and so he was heading for the reception desk in the hope of booking himself into one of the cheaper rooms in another part of the hotel, where he could get a night's sleep and hopefully meet up with Mukuro in the morning and attempt to reconcile with her for the damage his disobedient body had done to their relationship that night.

But unfortunately, when he arrived at the reception area, Hiei found a long, winding queue, which suggested that the hotel was likely already fully-booked; either way, Hiei did not have the patience to wait in such a long line only to be turned away without a place to stay, and so he resorted to the only other option that seemed sensible to him in that moment.

Hiei left the hotel, climbed the outside of the building, and sat down on the cold, hard roof. It was not the worst or most uncomfortable place he had ever slept, but it was a far cry from the luxurious bed Mukuro would be retiring into that night.

**

* * *

**

"Wrong!"

Botan jerked and wriggled.

"Ow, wrong!"

She pushed the heels of her hands against Yusuke's arms, but he kept his hold firm.

"You're doing it wrong!" she yelled angrily.

He finally broke contact, taking a step back from her and dragging the back of one hand across his lips.

"I wasn't aware there was a right and a wrong way to kiss someone on the neck, Botan," he growled impatiently.

"Well you're doing it wrong!" she insisted.

"Gees Botan, you sound like a damn driving instructor," Yusuke complained. "And you know what? This is becoming about as much fun as being on a driving lesson! I've been with other women Botan, unlike you, I know what I'm doing!"

"It's not supposed to feel like that!" Botan snapped back.

"You don't know what it's supposed to feel like, you've never even kissed a guy before!"

"It's supposed to feel magical and wonderful!"

"It feels bad because you're so damn tense!"

"You're supposed to touch me nicely!"

"I am touching you "nicely"!"

"No you're not! You're doing it wrong!"

"This again?"

Yusuke sighed and pushed a hand through his hair.

"I was expecting you to be tightly-wound, but this is ridiculous…" he grumbled.

Botan tried to sigh herself, but her breath came out shuddering and quickly dissolved into a small whimper.

"Are you nervous?" Yusuke asked her.

"No," she quietly replied.

"Just relax," he said. "Don't work yourself up worrying about it."

"I'm not worried."

"Then what's your problem?"

"I don't know…"

Botan tugged at the strap of her dress, hooking it back up onto her shoulder. She avoided looking directly at Yusuke, mainly because she did not want to see the way he was looking at her. She did not really know what was wrong, but clearly something was very wrong, because she was not enjoying being with Yusuke at all. It was all she had ever wanted, but the reality was something quite cold and unsatisfying. She supposed that he perhaps had a good point: maybe the problem was that she was so tense. But because she did not know why she was so tense, she could not make herself relax.

Maybe it was guilt.

She had saved everything for him for so long, only to throw it all away on one of his friends and hide the whole affair from him. Maybe her own guilt was making her unable to relax and enjoy the moment, and maybe if she confessed all to Yusuke she would feel better.

"I thought this was what you wanted, Botan."

"This is what I want!"

Botan met Yusuke's eyes, and immediately any thoughts of confessing her affair with Hiei vanished from her mind. She could never tell him the truth, he would never understand and he would never forgive her. He would be disgusted with her at best, and she did not want to see the inevitable look of disappointment he would give her if she admitted to her indiscretions.

"This is what I want," she repeated, nodding her head. "I was just… Scared."

Yusuke nodded and moved closer to her again, pulling her into his arms.

"I already told you I'd go easy on you," he muttered into her hair.

She nodded, even though he could not see her gesture, and loosely put her arms around him. He kissed the top of her head and then took hold of her arms, pulling her towards the bed. Her feet stumbled a little beneath her, and her vision blurred: it was meant to be the happiest moment of her existence but instead she felt terrible. Again she dismissed her concerns as guilt, and she tried to immerse herself in the moment, clutching at Yusuke to stop herself from falling as he sat onto the side of the bed, pulling her with him. She stopped, standing in front of him, and he looked up at her, smiling in a warm and welcoming way. She felt a little reassured to see the look on his face, and she attempted to smile back at him.

"Just trust me," he said gently.

She nodded, though a tear escaped one of her eyes. She tried to ignore it and crawled onto the bed as Yusuke slid back to make a space for her. He lay down onto his back and pulled her over to lie on top of him. She shuffled slightly, feeling a little awkward lying over him, but he did not give her the chance to linger on the thought, as he slid one hand around the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss. She tensed as their lips made contact, but started to relax slightly when she found him being a little gentler than before. For several seconds she felt herself relaxing and feeling less unsure of what was happening: but the sense of security ended abruptly when he grabbed the back of her dress and pulled until stitching began to give way.

Botan moaned and tried to pull out of their kiss to tell him not to rip her dress, but Yusuke stubbornly held her in place. Again she felt a brief moment of relief when he released the fabric of her dress, but her anxiety returned tenfold when his hand instead began fumbling its way under her dress and up the back of one of her thighs. She grabbed her fists around the material of his shirt and pushed herself up forcefully, finally breaking contact. He stopped immediately, his eyes snapping open to fix her with a questioning look as she held herself above him.

"What now?" he asked.

The hint of impatience and slight harshness of his tone made something inside of her snap.

"I can't do this, it just doesn't feel right!" she wailed.

"What?"

Botan hurriedly rolled off of Yusuke and leapt off the bed. He sat up, watching her curiously as she began pacing about the room in search of her shoes.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

She ignored him, retrieving one of her shoes from under the bed and wiping away a stray tear. She heard him shuffle off of the bed, but still she kept her attention focused on finding her missing shoe.

"Botan?"

"I can't find my shoe!"

Botan threw down the shoe she had found and began to cry. She did not even know why she was so upset, except that she felt so frustrated and confused.

"Aw gees Botan, don't cry!" Yusuke pleaded.

She moved out of his reach as he tried to touch her shoulder, moving towards the window. Despite not really knowing why she was crying, she was already struggling to breathe and close to hysterics.

"Maybe you should get some air," Yusuke suggested, opening the window slightly.

Botan edged closer to the open window and drew in a deep breath, trying to calm herself as best she could.

"Are you really that nervous about this?" he asked. "Really? You've fought off scarier and uglier demons than me before, Botan."

Botan sobbed and dropped her face into her hands.

"Gees that was meant to be a joke…" Yusuke muttered.

"I know!" she wailed. "But it just doesn't feel like it's supposed to!"

"You don't know what it's supposed to feel like," he pointed out.

"But it feels different, and I don't like it this way! I want it like it was before!"

"…Okay, now I'm confused…"

"It was magical and wonderful and exciting before. Now it just feels sore and awkward, and I don't like it any more!"

"…What?"

"I think I'm broken!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Botan?"

"I broke myself and now I can't ever make it work again!"

Botan lifted her face to look up at Yusuke through tear-stained eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"It's okay," he assured her. "Let's just have a drink and relax, and maybe you'll feel more up for it then."

Botan shook her head, and with one arm she pushed the window open wider, and with the other she summoned her oar.

"Botan?" Yusuke began. "What are you – Botan!"

Botan did not hesitate. She was out the window and had flown halfway around the hotel by the time Yusuke yelled out her name a second time. The only clear thought she had in her mind was that she had to get away. She took herself around to the back of the building and stopped, hovering on point above the alleyway littered with garbage from the hotel. She saw a dumpster full of bedding and dropped towards it, bundling up a king-size duvet and a pillow before shooting up into the sky again. She did not want to return to spirit world a gibbering wreck, she could not think of anywhere she wanted to go to in the living world, and she did not feel safe trying to find an alternative place to stay that night in demon world, and so she took herself to the roof of the hotel, where she intended to attempt sleep.

She had no idea how she would explain herself to Yusuke the next morning: she could not even explain herself to herself. All she did know for sure was that being intimate with Yusuke had felt wrong, and she had not wanted to continue it.

Botan banished her oar and threw down the duvet, stepping onto it with her bare feet. She could still feel the hard roof through the duvet, and she could now see why the duvet had been disposed of: it was littered with urine stains. She threw down the pillow with a small sob and huddled against a gust of cool wind that passed over her. She felt foolish then, and she began to wonder why she had been so impetuous. She ought to have just explained to Yusuke that she was not ready to take their relationship so far, and she could have spent the night in the luxurious hotel room. Even sleeping on the floor of the hotel was better than sleeping on the roof, she thought bitterly.

"What the hell are you doing up here, woman?"

Botan staggered around, her eyes wide and her tears suddenly dry.

"Hiei?" she yelped as she spotted him rising to his feet a short distance from her. "What are you doing up here?"

"I asked you first, idiot," he called back.

"I saw you leaving with Mukuro almost an hour ago!" she said, ignoring his response. "I thought you went back home with her?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but we're staying here at this hotel," he replied. "What happened to you? Why do you have black marks all over your face?"

Botan gasped and swiped her hands over her cheeks. She looked down at her fingertips to find them smeared with traces of mascara. She looked down at her slightly ragged dress and realised that she probably looked awful.

"Have you been crying?" Hiei asked, starting towards her.

"Yes…" she faintly replied.

"What for now?" he moaned. "I thought you finally got what you wanted? And shouldn't you be "spooning" with Yusuke somewhere right about now?"

"I'm surprised you even know what "spooning" means…"

"I don't. I was just paraphrasing you."

"That figures. And it's not what you think. I was crying tears of happiness because I was so happy to be with Yusuke and because he was so wonderful."

"So wonderful that he kicked you out of the bed as soon as he'd finished with you?"

"How dare you say that? You don't know what you're talking about!"

"You're the one dragging piss-soaked bedding up her and sobbing like a pre-pubescent little girl who just got given the shocker for the first time."

"…What? You're not making any sense! And I'm only here because Yusuke was really tired, and after we… After we… After we made love, I was courteous enough to leave the room so that he could get a good night's sleep."

"…He kicked you out."

Botan folded her arms and narrowed her eyes.

"What are you doing up here, Hiei?" she growled.

"Unlike you, I chose to come up here," he casually replied. "I actually did decide to let Mukuro have the room to herself. She needed it by the time I was finished with her."

"You had a good time then?" Botan asked sarcastically.

"I had a good time," Hiei replied. "And she had such a good time, she won't be able to walk tomorrow morning."

"Don't flatter yourself, you're not that good!"

"You would know."

"I do know, remember?"

"You never saw the best of me."

"Of course not."

"But I bet my most feeble attempt was still better than Yusuke."

Botan gasped, her arms falling to her sides.

"You make me sick!" she yelled.

"You always say that, but it never stops you coming back for more," Hiei replied, raking his eyes over her.

She subconsciously tugged at the torn parts of her dress, cuddling her arms around her chest protectively.

"Well you can't stay up here," she said, before turning her back on him.

"You can't tell me what to do," he scoffed.

"I'm not sharing this bed with you," she snapped. "If you insist on staying here, you can sleep over at the other side of the roof, because I don't want you anywhere near me!"

"Hn, you and I are long finished sharing beds, woman."

"Are we?"

Botan pulled a face at herself, silently glad that she still had her back to Hiei. Why had she asked him that? She bit her lip to contain a groan and inwardly prayed that he would just ignore her. She felt as much as heard him moving closer to her, the warmth of his presence close behind her making her shiver.

"I'm not giving you my coat," he said flatly. "You came out here without a coat or even any shoes. If you're cold, you only have yourself to blame. Maybe you should have done a better job of making that dress, too, it's falling apart already."

Botan swallowed down a moan as Hiei placed a hand over a tear in her dress, the warmth of his palm pressing against the strip of bared skin on her back sending a rush of something indescribable through her body and leaving her feeling weak at the knees. Why did his touch have that effect on her? Why had it not felt that way when Yusuke had touched her?

"It was torn apart in the heat of our passion," she lied.

She looked back over her shoulder, eying Hiei over. He too was without footwear, his pants were torn and only held in place because he had tied together the shredded remains of the waistband, and he was wearing a dinner jacket open with nothing under it.

"You look far worse than I do!" she spat at him angrily.

"My clothes were torn from me in the heat of the moment too," he replied. "She couldn't keep her hands off of me."

"I'm so pleased for you," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You finally got what you always wanted."

"You got what you always wanted too," he pointed out.

"Yes, but…"

Botan bit her lip and lowered her head, keeping her back turned to Hiei.

"But what?" he pressed.

"Well… Yusuke was so tired…" she said quietly.

"He couldn't keep up with you?" Hiei snorted amusedly.

"Not exactly, it was just that… He was so tired, we only… We only, you know, once, and… I would have liked to have, you know, maybe twice…"

Botan stared at her hands, focusing on them in the hope of maintaining a sense of realism. She was not really sure what she was saying or why she was saying it, but again her mind seemed to be lost to a more powerful force that was controlling her words and her actions that night.

"I didn't finish."

Botan slowly lifted her head.

"What?" she asked.

"I didn't finish," Hiei said again, his voice barely above a whisper. "She was really tired, and I didn't want to wear her out."

Botan looked back over her shoulder at him again.

"So you're still…?" she began, her voice fading before the thought inside her head managed to form into words.

"So are you, you said," he replied, trying to look indifferent but failing slightly.

"It's your fault this happened to me," she said, slowly turning around to face him fully. "You did this to me. You made me have these… Higher standards and… Needs…"

"At least you got your release tonight," he growled back. "I didn't. By tomorrow morning, I'll be in pain from waiting so long, and Mukuro will think I'm pathetic."

"Well I don't exactly want Yusuke thinking I'm some sort of nymphomaniac!" she tightly replied. "I couldn't exactly ask him to go again. I feel just as frustrated as you do."

"Moaning about it doesn't help the situation."

"You moaned first."

"That's not how I remember it."

Hiei edged closer to Botan, reaching a hand around her back and brushing his fingers against the line of bared skin on her back again. She twitched and held her breath and fought to stop herself from reacting, but when his fingers found their way beneath the material and his entire hand slid under her dress a weak, stuttering whimper escaped her lips despite her best attempts to remain stoic.

"I never really actually said I was properly going to totally accept Yusuke as my lover yet," she said in a shaky voice, lifting her head slightly to look Hiei directly in the eyes.

"Technically speaking, because I didn't get my release, I haven't exactly even consummated my commitment to Mukuro," he said, leaning closer to her.

"It's really not very fair or right or proper if we're both so in need of things we can't properly have," she said, reaching up shaking hands to his bare chest. "I-I mean, if we go to sleep now, like this, we'll be so horribly grumpy in the morning, and it would be just awful if we took out those frustrations on those ones who we care so much about, right?"

"That would be dishonourable and unacceptable and unforgiveable and shameful."

Hiei pulled Botan closer to him and slid his other arm around her. She walked her fingers up his chest to his shoulders before slowly winding her arms around him and lifting her chin further, the tip of her nose brushing against his.

"So maybe it wouldn't be so terribly completely wrong if we just did it one more time, right?" she asked.

"Probably not," he replied.

He closed the marginal gap between them, catching her lips in a light, brief kiss before moving back again.

"It's only because we don't want to get angry or out of control," she said. "It's important because if we don't do this now we'll be doing silly fits of angriness on those ones we love, like with you and Makoto and me and… Thingy…"

"I don't want to lose control in front of Makoto," Hiei muttered.

"That would just be so bad, so we should definitely just do this now."

"Just this one more time for the final last one."

"Of course because it's not really even that we want to it's just totally because we absolutely have to for the sake of the loving ones of–"

"Fuck's sake woman, just shut-up and kiss me."

Botan grabbed the collar of Hiei's dinner jacket and pulled him to her, gladly engaging him in a passionate kiss. Her body melted into him, and that feeling she had been waiting for all night finally surfaced. She wondered if it was because she did not feel under any pressure to please Hiei like she did with Yusuke, or if it was just because she knew exactly how good Hiei could make her feel, but in that moment she did not really care. And, as they awkwardly sank down into the filthy bedding she had recovered from the dumpster, which still barely protected them from the hard, uneven roof, Botan felt the evidence of Hiei's arousal already pushing open his torn pants and pressing against her thigh and logic left her mind completely.

"Don't go telling anybody," she gasped breathlessly as he began removing her dress, his lips kissing ever inch of skin he was baring as he went.

"I will honour your request for silence," he replied, his voice slightly muffed against her shoulder.

"Just this once more…" she said.

"And then we wash our hands clean of this."

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**Next Chapter:** Like the song of the same title, ooh, this could be messy… Hiei and Botan continue to fool themselves (and Yusuke and Mukuro), but they're not fooling their friends any more, and both Kurama and Kuwabara have something to say on the matter. Guilt starts to spiral out of control for both Hiei and Botan, and they decide to do the honourable thing – with disastrous consequences. **Chapter 15 – Caught Out**

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**A/N: **This chapter reminds me of something I always forget to say in author's notes – does anyone reading ever notice the minor parts of my fics? Like how in this chapter Botan was out of her dress by midnight, and she left her shoe with Yusuke (Cinderella, as he said to her in the last chapter) and she left him to return to her old ways? Maybe not. I often forget they're in there myself. My longer fics are full of them.

Anyway! So it's not a very moral fic, this one. And it's in for something of a plot 180 in the next couple of chapters. Also, it might take me more than two chapters to finish the story, it might run into three. But this fic will be finished within a week!

Thanks for the reviews, favs and views, please keep reading, and please feel free to drop a review.


	15. Caught Out

**Recap:** Botan and Yusuke got together and so did Hiei and Mukuro… Except it didn't go as planned for either couple, and Botan and Hiei ended up finding their way back to each other, and, after lying and boasting about how happy they were with their respective partners, they fell right back into old (bad) habits.

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**Chapter 15: Caught Out**

"We have to stop doing this."

"You say that every time."

"This time I mean it."

"You mean this was the last time?"

Hiei arched his eyebrows expectantly, but Botan did not answer him. She was still sitting on the ground, her legs bent in front of her, hugging her own knees, and she had yet to finish putting her clothes back on. She was looking up at him with fuchsia eyes filled with worry. Her cheeks were still slightly pink from the rigour of what they had just done, her lips rosy and slightly swollen, and her hair was a tangled mess of blue, clinging to her sweat-dampened temples and neck.

"We didn't plan this," he pointed out.

"No, we didn't," she agreed. "It was just an accident. We just happened to be here at the same time, and we both had to… Just…"

"Mukuro's really busy right now, I need a way of keeping my needs in check," he said firmly.

"It's the same for me," she agreed, finally standing up. "It's not really bad or anything."

Hiei turned from her then and looked about himself. He had no idea where the hell he was. He had never been to that particular part of the living world before. Desire had brought him to the living world, and he had followed the ferry girl for almost a full hour before she had finally landed and succumbed to him: but during the chase, he had not paid the slightest bit of attention to where she had been leading him.

"Things are going great with Yusuke," she said behind him.

"How nice for you," he drawled.

"Are things going great for you and Mukuro too?" she asked.

Hiei gulped quietly. Things between him and Mukuro were anything but great, but he was not about to tell Botan that. It had been a full two weeks since that night Mukuro had invited him to share a hotel room with her and he had ended up spending the night on the roof of the hotel bundled up in stained bedding and ferry girl, and unfortunately his own situation had not improved any since then. Every day it was the same pattern: Mukuro would finally calm down and invite him to her chambers, he would fail to become aroused, she would get irate and throw him out, he would wander around questioning his libido and then either the ferry girl found him or he found her, and immediately his problem vanished. Since that night at the hotel, he had hunted down or been hunted down by Botan every single day and they had had sex. Sometimes twice a day. He was confident that he could explain away his need to be with her, but it did confuse him that she still needed to be with him. What the hell was Yusuke playing at, letting the girl out on her own when she was clearly still so horny?

"Sure, yes, whatever," he eventually answered.

He certainly would never tell Botan the truth: that he had yet to even get close to consummating his relationship with Mukuro. It was embarrassing. Botan had been a virgin when they had first started their little game, she had been the one lacking in experience, but now he was the one denied of sex and she somehow had the energy to sleep with him and Yusuke – possibly up to four times in the same day.

"That's super," she said.

"Yes it is," he flatly replied.

"Well, I'm ready to go."

She stepped up to his side, her form once more almost entirely obscured beneath her pink kimono, her oar in her hand and her hair almost tidily tied up again, a few tell-tale loose strands being the only remaining visual evidence of what they had just done.

"Where are we?" Hiei asked her.

She shrugged.

"You led me here," he pointed out. "I was following you, and this was where you lured me to!"

"It was just somewhere far away from… Prying eyes…" she faintly replied, looking about the wooded valley beneath them.

"You're still an idiot," Hiei grumbled.

"And you're still rude," she replied, swinging her oar around and nimbly hopping onto it.

Hiei quickly leapt on behind her before she could take off without him, but she did not fly far before lowering down towards a break in the trees and then stopping mid-air and turning to look back at him.

"I can't take you with me," she said. "What if someone sees us together?"

Hiei deliberately looked about the landscape below them.

"How true," he said dryly as he finished his survey. "Out here there must be thousands of "prying eyes" watching our every move. How many squirrels, or raccoons, or birds do you think might have seen us?"

"Just get off my oar," she insisted.

"Fine."

Hiei leapt off the oar, grunting out a curse as he hit the ground: Botan had stopped a lot higher than he had thought, and the jump down was almost an injuring one. He straightened up and watched her fly back up into the clouds until she was out of sight. His eyes lingered on the point he had last seen her for some time, the silence and stillness around him causing him to fall into a sort of trance, and so when a voice spoke behind him he almost got a fright.

"Not so many squirrels, or raccoons, or birds, but certainly a fox."

Hiei spun around, his eyes wide and his temper flaring. As their eyes met, Kurama gave him a smile that was almost as infuriatingly calm, condescending and mocking as his words had been.

"When did you get here?" Hiei snapped irritably.

Kurama looked up at the sky, tilting his head slightly as though he was seriously considering his response.

"I was visiting the experimental foreign wildflower plantation some of my students have been working on, and I saw the strangest thing: Botan flying through the sky, and Hiei hopping through the trees directly beneath, almost as though he was following her," he said slowly. "Luckily none of the other professors or students present possessed above-average psychic abilities, and none of them were able to see Botan, and none of them were keen enough to catch a glimpse of or to hear Hiei as he passed. It did leave me wondering, however, about why Hiei would be in the living world and apparently following Botan."

Kurama lowered his head and met Hiei's eyes again, and again he took on that irritatingly knowing smirk.

"And now I see you sharing Botan's oar back this way," he continued. "You've been gone a long time. Did you have a long journey together, or were you both detained by something?"

Hiei clenched his fists until his knuckles cracked.

"It's not your business what I do, you nosy fox bastard," he growled.

"Of course not," Kurama lightly agreed. "I do wonder why you continue to hide your affair with Botan, though."

"I'm not hiding it!" Hiei snapped.

Kurama's smile widened slightly and Hiei quickly shook his head as he realised the faux pas his old ally had just guided him into making.

"I mean I'm not having an affair with that woman!" he hurriedly corrected himself.

"And so here we are again Hiei," Kurama said. "A little like the day we first met, I've learned something about you that you would not want me to repeat."

"…Are you threatening me, old man?"

"Why would I do that? We're friends, aren't we?"

"Maybe."

"And Yusuke is also my friend. As is Botan. Which leaves me with quite the conundrum, because both you and Botan are lying and doing something quite horrible to Yusuke."

"You wouldn't dare tell him."

"Now it sounds as though you are the one issuing threats."

Hiei sighed.

"That was the last time," he said.

Kurama gave him an almost pitying look.

"What are you going to do?" Hiei asked.

"It's not my place to gossip, Hiei," Kurama replied, his smile fading. "You're disrespecting a mutual friend in an unforgiveable manner I don't think I need to torture you with threats or bribes: the burden on your conscience ought to be punishment enough."

Hiei faltered slightly.

"Yes Hiei," Kurama said calmly. "I do still know you that well."

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Botan landed a little awkwardly but quickly righted herself and approached the door. She knocked on it and then almost immediately spun around, looking about herself and up into the tree at the end of the garden just to be sure that Hiei had not secretly followed her like he had before.

"Botan?"

Botan yelped and turned back, finding Yukina watching her expectantly, seemingly unaffected by her sudden outburst.

"Hello Yukina!" Botan said, forcing a smile. "I was just passing by and thought I'd drop in and say hello!"

"Of course," Yukina replied, stepping aside to let her pass. "Come in and sit down, I'll make some tea."

"Oh you are a dear."

Botan made her way through to the living room, where she found Kuwabara reading a newspaper. Or rather, Kuwabara was pretending to read a newspaper, his eyes unsubtly watching Botan over the top of the pages as she took a seat on the couch across from his armchair.

"Hey Botan," he said, keeping the newspaper raised between them.

"Kuwabara, how are you?" she replied.

"I'm good, you?"

"I'm super, thanks for asking."

Botan yelped again as Kuwabara suddenly whipped down the newspaper and leered across the room at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Botan?" he hissed.

"Excuse me?" she echoed.

"Keep your voice down, I don't want Yukina to hear!" Kuwabara whispered.

"Hear what?" Botan whispered back.

"About you and your malfeasances!"

"My what?"

"Don't try to deny it Botan, you've got grass in your hair and a hickie on your neck!"

Botan gasped, clapping a hand over one side of her neck.

"I do not!" she whispered indignantly.

"You do too, and you know you do too because you just put your hand over exactly where it is!" Kuwabara whispered.

"You're a dirty little boy, you shouldn't talk to a lady like that!"

Kuwabara's face dropped.

"I'm hardly a little boy any more, Botan," he mumbled, pointing at his bald head.

"Well then you're a lecherous old man!" she snapped. "How fitting!"

"You're the pervert, Botan!" he whispered. "You've been bonking Hiei behind Urameshi's back!"

Botan started to look horrified, but confusion quickly took over.

"Bonking?" she asked.

"It means–"

"I know what it means! And you have absolutely no proof that it's true!"

Botan rearranged the collar of her kimono to, she hoped, conceal the mark Kuwabara had been referring to. Kuwabara was still glowering at her, but she refused to let his accusations make her feel bad: after all, what she did in her spare time was none of his business.

"It's sick!" he whispered. "It's sick that you'd want to make love making with Hiei, and it's sick that you would do it behind Urameshi's back when you're supposed to be dating him!"

"Yusuke and I are taking it slow," Botan flatly replied.

"You're not taking it anywhere with Urameshi!" Kuwabara argued. "You're just pretending to want to be his girlfriend to his face, and then you're going all the way with Hiei behind his back! Don't you have any shame? And why do you keep coming here when you're trying to hide the evidence? Why can't you go someplace else while you get your breath back?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, and I resent your rudeness, your accusations and your rudeness!"

"You said rudeness twice!"

"That's because it was so important, I felt that I needed to say it twice!"

"You're the rude one around here with your – hey, Yukina!"

Kuwabara grinned awkwardly at Yukina as she entered the room with a tray supporting a new teapot and bowls for tea – presumably, Botan thought, replacements for the ones Yukina had broken two weeks ago when Yusuke had told her he was taking Botan on a date.

"I'm sorry Botan, I don't have any honey left," she said, giving Botan a remorseful look. "Would you like some fresh lemon in your tea instead?"

Botan slowly lifted her head, looking directly up at Yukina.

"It's still a sweet taste," Yukina added. "It's a different kind of sweetness, it's more of a bitter sweetness than a smooth sweetness, but it is still sweet in its own way. Will you give it a try?"

"A-are you still talking about the tea?" Botan asked faintly.

Yukina frowned.

"What else would I be talking about?" she asked.

Botan shook her head and tried to dismiss what she had asked, but words failed her.

"Are you alright, Botan?" Yukina asked.

"No…"

Botan drew in a deep breath and then exhaled the air as a wail of misery, standing and rounding on Yukina in one smooth movement. Yukina made a small noise of complaint as the tray fell from her hands and Kuwabara failed to rescue any of the new china, but she did not object to Botan throwing her arms around her and sobbing into her shoulder.

"Did somebody hurt you, Botan?" she asked.

Botan wailed louder and squeezed Yukina tighter, and behind them Kuwabara muttered something about a guilty conscious and a delayed reaction as he began the arduous task of extracting the shattered remains of the tea-set from the carpet.

"Oh Botan, please don't cry!" Yukina said, gently patting a hand against Botan's back. "Whatever it is, I'm sure Yusuke will help fix it for you!"

Botan wailed louder still and Kuwabara groaned.

**

* * *

**

Botan inhaled and exhaled deeply three times to prepare herself before taking a fourth, deeper, breath and then clamping her lips over the Mystic Whistle. Desperate times called for desperate measures, she told herself. After barely managing to assure Yukina that her hysterical fit of tears were not a cause for concern – all the while listening to Kuwabara mutter accusations of guilt and dishonour at her – Botan had finally realised what she had to do. Things had not been right ever since her disastrous night at the hotel with Yusuke, and she could not continue pretending to him that she was reluctant to advance their relationship because of her inexperience, and equally she could not continue sneaking around behind his back with Hiei.

And so Botan kept blowing Mystic Whistle until it was yanked from her mouth.

"How many times do I have to tell you? One, single, short, sharp blow is enough to rouse half of demon world, idiot! You don't need to blow it that hard or that long!"

Botan sighed.

"That's what she said," she muttered.

"That's what who said?" Hiei asked, looking about himself suspiciously.

Botan turned to give him a flat look, but he was, by then, too busy poking at his ears and twitching angrily to notice.

"It hurts," he growled as he caught her watching him.

"Well you deserved it," she said quietly.

"Why did you summon me, woman?" he asked firmly.

"We have to stop."

"You said that already, and yet here you are, calling me back for a second session in the same day."

"I mean it Hiei. We have to stop. It's immoral."

"I agree."

Botan paused.

"I agree," Hiei said again, raising his voice to almost a shout.

"I heard you perfectly well the first time!" Botan snapped back.

"Lucky you, I'm still partially deaf thanks to your stupid spirit world gadget!" he grumbled sarcastically.

"I'm just… Surprised…" she added.

"Surprised that I don't want to see you any more?" he asked.

"No, surprised that we actually agree on something."

"Hn."

Hiei twitched one last time before straightening to his fullest height and looking about himself again as though he was expecting something to suddenly jump out on him at any given moment.

"We're alone," Botan assured him.

"Like I said, that stupid device can be heard from miles away," he replied. "Just because I'm the only one here, doesn't mean that I was the only one to hear it. I just got here first because I'm the fastest."

"The fastest out of who?"

"Everyone. And everything."

"Well, can't argue with the ego…"

Hiei turned back sharply, glaring down at Botan.

"Let's just get to the point, shall we?" he said.

"Yes," she said, nodding her head. "We both agree it's over now, so that's it."

"After this one last time, yes, that's definitely it."

"Absolutely. After this one last – wait, what?"

"Hn, don't play stupid, stupid."

Botan placed her hands on her hips and scowled at Hiei.

"And don't pull faces at me either," he added.

"What do you mean "after this one last time"?" she asked.

"Well clearly that was why you called me here so desperately," he replied, drawing out his words sarcastically as though she had just asked something obvious. "You called me here for one last frolic before we part ways."

"I did not," Botan said solemnly.

"Of course you did," he groaned.

"I absolutely did not!" she snapped, stamping a foot at him in her ire.

"You absolutely did, and since this is the last time, why don't we make it something we both enjoy by foregoing the part where you get all uptight and pretend you don't want this to happen?"

"I'm not pretending!"

"Like every other idiot born of spirit world, you are a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying!"

Hiei dropped down suddenly, sending up a cloud of dead leaves. Botan frowned down at him, watching as he sat back on the ground, leaning against a tree trunk, and closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Having a nap," he replied, keeping his eyes closed. "Wake me up when you've finished your blame-deflecting diatribe."

Botan clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, but Hiei kept his eyes closed and his head back, looking uncharacteristically gentle and peaceful as the dappled sunlight shining through the treetops above them played across his features.

"If we do it right here and right now, will you leave me alone forever?" she asked.

"Well, that is why you called me here," he replied, opening his eyes just enough to look up at her.

"Actually, it's not why I called you here. I called you here to tell you that it was over."

"You told me it was over this morning. If you really didn't want to see me again, you wouldn't have called me back, you would have just stayed away from me."

"…That's not how it works."

Hiei sighed quietly and closed his eyes again.

"I didn't call you here for that, but if it will get rid of you forever, then let's just get it over and done with! Right here, right now!"

Hiei opened his eyes again and his lips slowly moved into a dark smile.

"And don't be smug about it," Botan warned him.

"Only if you promise not to be uptight about it," he replied.

"I'm only-ah!"

Botan yelped as Hiei grabbed her wrists and pulled her down, somehow grabbing his arms around her and rolling her over onto her back on the ground, positioning himself on top of her.

"I've told you before, if you keep offering yourself to me, I'm hardly going to refuse," he said.

"That makes you a hussy!" she argued.

"If that's true, then what does that make you?"

She wriggled slightly, freeing her arms from under him. He tensed a little as though he was expected her to react violently somehow, but instead she took his face in her hands and pulled him into a kiss. In her mind, she told herself she was just doing it to silence him, because she was never able to out-smart him in an argument and it was infuriating, but deep down, she knew that was nothing more than a feeble excuse. The truth of the matter was that she could not keep her hands off of him. She would never tell him that, of course, though it was painfully obvious, and he was probably already fully aware of the effect he had on her. It just infuriated her that he was the only one who had that effect on her: despite having loved Yusuke for years, his touch had never come close to making her feel as good at Hiei's did. At first she had blamed herself and assumed that she was the problem, but now she had no idea what to think.

And thinking was becoming harder to do as she once more became overwhelmed by her own desires, the outside world gradually closing off to her until all she was aware of was Hiei's closeness and his touch. Within minutes they had shed most of their clothes and were wrapped up in each other, and even though it had only been a few hours since their last meeting, and despite them having been together more times than Botan could remember during the last two weeks, somehow every kiss and caress still felt as exciting and unexpectedly good as if it was their very first time together. Botan was so lost in the moment, so deliriously happy and giddy with anticipation when she felt Hiei tugging at her panties, that at first, she barely registered the strange noise at her side.

But the second time it sounded, louder and sharper than before, there was no ignoring or denying it.

Botan shifted her eyes to the source of the sound, and her entire body froze. She was so horrified at what she saw, it took her too long to realise that Hiei had not also noticed what was happening, and she was forced to turn her attention back to him, grabbing at his wrists in a desperate attempt to stop him from removing the one last item of clothing she still had on.

"Hiei!" she hissed.

He growled slightly, his lips vibrating against her shoulder and his throat reverberating against her left breast. She squeaked and tried to ignore how pleasurable it had felt, a quick glance at the problem by her side quickly sobering her once more.

"Hiei!" she said, her voice still hushed – though she knew it was pointless to do so.

"What?" he grunted, only lifting his head enough to get the words out.

"Get up, Hiei!" she insisted.

"We already did the part where you pretend not to want this," he muttered.

"Hiei, you need to get up. Right now!"

"Hn."

Hiei lowered himself down again but Botan grabbed at his hair, barely managing to lift his head again, ignoring the slightly irritated look he gave her, and manoeuvred his head around to look at the problem. She watched him carefully, all while wondering why he had not sensed what was happening long before it had gotten to the point it was now at, and she was even more horrified to see that he did not immediately seem to realise what he was looking at. He blinked a few times, the haze of lust that had been clouding his eyes fading and his pupils contracting slightly as he finally seemed to focus. He then paled slightly before groaning and burying his face in Botan's chest. She yelped at the contact, turning her head sharply to see what effect his actions were going to have on the two people watching them.

Apparently, Hiei's response had made no difference. Though, Botan thought, there really was nothing that could make the current situation any worse than it already was, other than if she and Hiei had started ravishing each other a few seconds earlier and been caught actually in the act of love making. But as it was, the situation was as bad as it could get.

Yusuke was staring at Botan and he looked disappointed and confused, and Mukuro was glaring at the back of Hiei's head, looking inconsolably irate: and Botan was unsure which of the two was a more frightening prospect to face.

For one long and horrible moment, Hiei remained squashed against Botan, Botan stayed pinned to the ground glancing fearfully back and forth between Yusuke and Mukuro, Yusuke stood frozen on the spot, looking torn between confusion and betrayal-induced anger and Mukuro stood unnaturally still, staring unblinkingly at Hiei, her jaw clenched and an air of barely restrained rage radiating from her. Mukuro was the first to move, grabbing up Hiei's pants from Botan's side.

"Get up!" she yelled, throwing them at his back.

Botan yelped involuntarily as one of her thighs was inadvertently slapped with Hiei's clothing, but Hiei did not so much as flinch. He lingered a second longer before starting to lift his head up. Botan glanced around the others and then clung onto him, shaking her head vigorously. He looked down at her bare chest and seemed to understand what her concern was, grabbing the hem of her discarded kimono and pulling it over her body before lifting himself from her completely and rising to his feet. She clutched her kimono to her chest and sat up, wrapping it around herself sideways in an uncoordinated attempt to regain some of her dignity.

"I see," Mukuro said quietly, narrowing her eyes at Hiei as he quickly stepped into his pants. "The thought of being with me does nothing for you, but that pathetic waif whips off her dress and just like that you're ready to go?"

Hiei grunted something indecipherable, and Botan was almost angry at him: what was Mukuro talking about? She had made it sound as though Hiei was not in a relationship with her, but that made no sense.

"What the hell, Botan?"

Botan turned her head sharply to look at Yusuke, who still looked more conflicted than anything else.

"I took you to the most expensive hotel in demon world, to a bed covered with fucking rose-petals, and you said it didn't feel "nice", but lying on the ground in the middle of a forest with Hiei does feel nice?" he said, his voice gaining volume as he spoke.

She shook her head and tried to answer him, but her voice and any logical words both failed her.

"I'm going to skip the part where I ask how stupid you think I am and jump straight to the part where I ask how long has this been going on?" Mukuro asked Hiei.

"How did you know we were here?" Hiei quietly replied.

"Idiot, Botan's dumb whistle told us you were here!" Yusuke snapped at him.

"You can hear it from demon world?" Botan asked.

"I told you not to blow it that long and hard!" Hiei growled at her.

"We were in the living world when we heard it," Mukuro said. "And as soon as we had recovered from the debilitating pain in our ears, we headed this way as fast as we could."

"I thought you were in trouble when I heard it," Yusuke said, pointing a finger at Botan as he spoke. "But instead I come here and find you like this!"

"I thought you were in demon world," she replied. "I-I wouldn't have used the whistle if I'd known–"

"We had reason to believe that you were both here," Mukuro cut her off.

"I was working," Botan defended herself.

"I thought your job was ferrying the souls of the departed to spirit world, not prostituting yourself to the most powerful demon who happens to look your way."

Botan clutched at her kimono, and for a brief moment she thought she might pass out in fear. Once the buzzing in her head had stopped, she almost wished that she had passed out, if only to escape the horror of the situation she was in.

"Well if Hiei isn't gonna answer, maybe you will, Botan," Yusuke said. "How long has this been going on?"

"I-I don't know what you mean," she began awkwardly. "We just got here, and–"

"How long, girl?" Mukuro cut her off, her voice only slightly above conversational volume, but her tone undeniably harsh. "How long have the two of you been fooling around with each other behind our backs?"

"I don't know!" Botan wailed.

Mukuro took a step towards her and Botan almost wet herself.

"Since that night in the forest in demon world when I was being chased by that snake and Hiei rescued me and we accidentally kissed!" she blurted out.

"What?" Yusuke muttered.

"The same day as Keiko's daughter's wedding!" Botan added.

Yusuke's eyes doubled in size.

"That long?" he said.

"That's not true," Hiei said, looking at Mukuro as he spoke, but pointing at Botan. "That night was when we first met again after all those years apart, but it wasn't the first time we…"

"No, that's right, we only kissed that night," Botan added. "And that was really just a misunderstanding. It was dark, I was confused…"

"So basically this has been going on since the two of you met up again?" Yusuke asked. "Why? Were you at it before the spirit detective team disbanded, is that it? Were you two secretly screwing each other during the Dark Tournament, and when I fought Sensui in demon world, and when–"

"No, it's not like that!" Botan quickly stopped him. "It wasn't like that at all! I only said it started that night we met up again because that was the first time that I realised I was…"

Botan's voice faded and suddenly her fear and anxiety vanished, and she was overtaken by a strange sense of detachment from the whole situation. She turned to look at Hiei, finding him giving her a curious look, and only when a tear ran down her cheek did she realise that she was crying.

"Get your stuff, we need to talk, and we're not doing it here," Mukuro said to Hiei.

"You've never come to the living world before," he said as he began to gather up the remainder of his clothing and belongings.

"I never had a reason to before," she replied.

Hiei looked a little confused, but followed after her as she started to leave. Botan watched them go until they were out of sight before turning to Yusuke, who by then just looked upset.

"How could you do this to me Botan?" he asked as their eyes met.

"I didn't do anything to you!" she replied. "I certainly never meant to ever hurt you!"

"You were the one person left in my life that I trusted, and now this?"

"Oh Yusuke, please, I'm so sorry, it wasn't like that!"

"You don't know what this is like, Botan. I just caught one of my friends getting ready to plough my girlfriend. You have no idea what that's like, how could you?"

Botan scrambled to her feet, folding her kimono awkwardly back in on itself.

"I know exactly how it feels, because it's exactly how I felt every time I came to visit you in the living world and found you making love to Keiko!"

"What?"

"She was my friend and I was in love with you, and it hurt every time I saw the two of you together. You're not the only one who's had your heart broken and been let down, Yusuke."

Yusuke's expression neutralised a little, and Botan realised then just what she had said.

"Get dressed," he said quietly. "We need to talk."

**

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**

**Next Chapter:** Botan and Yusuke talk, and both have confessions to make to each other, and elsewhere, Kurama and Kuwabara are up to something sneaky. **Chapter 16 – Dirty Hands**

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**A/N:** At the moment, I don't know if the next chapter will be the last one or not, it depends how much I managed to cram into it. If not, 17 will definitely be the last one, and another fic is finished – which, from my point of view, is good, because inspiration is pulling me towards another project right now.

Thanks for all the reviews (and again the patience while I was off fangirling over the last couple of months).


	16. Dirty Hands

**A/N:** I'm an asshole, seriously. I finished this chapter a week ago, and I've been back on my computer for three days, so I have no excuses for not posting this way sooner. I could say I was building suspense, but that's a lie. I'm just an asshole!

**Recap: **Hiei and Botan had finally got what they wanted (Mukuro and Yusuke, respectively), but things were not going as either had expected, and they were continuing their secret affair. In what they told themselves was one last fling, they were caught red-handed by Mukuro and Yusuke, and their secret was out at last...

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**Chapter 16: Dirty Hands**

Botan sat staring down at her own reflection in her teacup. It was not the typical, pretty, decorative item Yukina usually served her tea in, but Botan supposed that standard teacups were all Yukina and Kuwabara had left after breaking two fine tea sets in the space of a fortnight. The tea inside the teacup had long gone cold – tapping her fingertips infrequently against the sides of the cup confirmed as much – and Botan had not lifted the cup from the table since Yukina had placed it there.

"Thirty years?"

Botan nodded.

"That's a real long time to keep a secret, Botan."

She nodded again.

"And you didn't tell anyone? No-one at all? Not even Shizuru, or Yukina or Kei… Well, obviously you didn't tell Keiko…"

She heard Yusuke sigh and then attempt to drink from his long finished teacup again.

"You didn't know?" she asked faintly. "I-I mean I know that I tried very hard to keep it hidden from you, but I always thought that you knew. I didn't think you knew just how much I loved you, but I thought you at least knew that I had a crush on you."

"Um, no," he replied. "I was never really good with that sort of stuff. I thought you were just my friend. And I thought maybe the reason you hung around me so much was because Koenma had asked you to. I know he's secretly got a rebellious streak in him, and I think he likes to live viscerally through me."

"Vicariously," Botan quietly corrected him.

"Right, yeah," Yusuke said, replacing his teacup to the table. "Just that. I never thought you actually had the hots for me for anything. At least, not until Mukuro mentioned it."

Botan lifted her head to look directly at Yusuke for the first time since they had arrived at Kuwabara and Yukina's house.

"She reckoned you had a crush on me, and she thought I probably couldn't see it because I spent so much time with you, like I was too close to really see it for what it was," he said.

"My feelings grew gradually," she replied. "And I suppose my attempts to hide my true feelings evolved in pace with the intensity of my affection."

"She also said I probably couldn't see it because I'm a little bit insensitive," Yusuke added, smiling nervously.

Botan shook her head and attempted to smile but failed.

"You're not insensitive," she said. "You were in love with Keiko. I would never have come between the two of you. She was my friend, and I cared about both of you too much to do that to either of you."

"And now you're in love with Hiei?" he asked.

"I don't know what I think or feel about Hiei," she replied. "It was an honest mistake Yusuke, I promise. That first night we were reunited, I thought he was you. It was dark, and he was tall, and he saved me, and I was so overcome with the wedding, and my frustration, and his heroism, I just thought he was you, and I kissed him – but only because I thought he was you. I was horrified when I realised that he wasn't you, and doubly so when I realised that he was Hiei."

"So there was never anything between you and Hiei before, back when we were solving cases for Koenma?"

"Of course not!"

"Well, at least I don't feel quite so stupid now. But I still don't get how you "accidentally" kissing him turns into you having crazy monkey sex with him outdoors in a forest in the living world."

Botan blushed and turned her head away from Yusuke until she felt the heat start to dissipate from her cheeks again.

"That was a sort of habit that we developed," she said. "We accidentally… You know… One night, and then he talked me into doing it again, and again, and again… And then I just couldn't stop."

"How do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?" Yusuke asked.

"I, um, I thought he was you?"

Yusuke's face dropped and Botan started to blush again.

"That first night you had a meeting with Mukuro, you stayed out all night with her, and…" she began.

"And?" he pressed.

"And I woke up in the middle of the night, and I went to your room, and I thought it was you in the bed, and I climbed in, and–"

"Okay, you know what? I don't really need to know any more. I think I get it now."

"I thought it was you, I swear! And the first few times we were together, I was thinking of you the whole time–"

"I definitely don't need to know that."

"But you do need to know that! I never intentionally set out to betray you! It was just that… I got accustomed to being with him, and I started to… To… To like it…"

"Okay…"

"I'm so sorry Yusuke. I've always loved you, and I wanted so badly to be with you, and I really never intended to cause you any pain or disappointment or embarrassment. Please forgive me?"

Yusuke lowered his head, but not before Botan noticed a strange look pass over his face.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Um…" he muttered. "I guess since you've been so honest, and told me about how you really felt about me all this time and the thing with Hiei, I probably ought to be honest with you too."

Botan gasped.

"Was Hiei right?" she asked. "Did you and Mukuro…?"

"What?" Yusuke echoed, his head snapping up. "No!"

"Oh. Well, alright then. It was just that Hiei thought that maybe you two were… Never mind."

"Let's just not go there, and let's not talk about Hiei any more, because frankly, I'm still a little bit pissed off with him."

"Oh."

"He thought you were my girlfriend, and he's supposed to be my friend, he shouldn't have been sniffing around you like that."

"I wasn't your girlfriend when Hiei and I first…"

Botan slowly trailed off as she saw the hardened look on Yusuke's face.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying before?" she asked instead.

His expression softened and he looked down at his empty teacup.

"Right, yeah," he said quietly. "Well, the thing is Botan, maybe you did love me for all those years, but if I'm being completely honest, I didn't feel the same way about you."

"I know you didn't," she said. "That was why I never told you how I felt before now. You were still in love with Keiko before."

"Yeah, well, you know, maybe recently I've realised that I have to let Keiko go, but that doesn't really mean that anything's changed."

Botan shook her head.

"I don't understand," she said.

"When I asked you out to dinner, and took you to the party, and took you to that hotel…" he began. "Well, I wasn't really as into it as you were."

"What do you mean?"

"Botan, you're an awesome friend. You've been there for me more than anyone else, and I appreciate that, but that's really all you are to me. And I just thought that maybe if we got together as boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe I might start to think about you the same way you do about me."

"You… Just asked me on a date because you felt obliged to?"

"Well, yeah, I felt I owed it to you to give you a shot, and Mukuro made it seem like the right thing to do, but honestly, it felt kinda weird. I wanted to give something back to you for everything you'd done for me, but it's not like I thought we'd always be together. Like with Keiko, she'd always been there, and I thought she always would be. I didn't think anything would ever split us up… Heh, I guess I'm like my old man in that respect: I can't forget that one human woman."

"Oh…"

"I guess that was pretty lame, huh?"

"No worse than committing adultery, I suppose."

Yusuke nodded and picked up his teacup, raising it halfway towards his mouth before remembering that it was empty and replacing it to the table again.

"So you and Hiei, huh?" he asked, forcing a smile.

Botan shook her head, and tried to ignore the tightening in her throat.

"He doesn't even like me," she said, her voice strained. "He was just using me to… He's with Mukuro now, and he loves her."

Yusuke snorted and rolled his eyes. Botan hurriedly wiped away a tear that was forming in the corner of one eye and frowned at him.

"Something funny?" she asked.

"Something's definitely funny," he replied. "And not so much in the laughable way, more in the "doesn't add up" way."

"…I don't follow…"

"Well, you said Hiei is with Mukuro and that he loves her, but I spoke to Mukuro this morning, and that's not quite the story she gave me. One of them must be lying, and by how cranky Mukuro was, I think it's probably Hiei that's not being entirely honest."

"Yusuke, I don't understand what you're talking about, you need to–"

"Hiei and Mukuro went to that party together, and we saw them kissing, but things haven't gone any further between them. Mukuro told me Hiei won't have sex with her."

Botan froze.

"I'm not gonna make this situation any more awkward than it already is by telling you exactly what she told me," Yusuke continued. "But basically he's not able to, and she thought maybe the reason why was because he was getting what he needed someplace else. And it turns out she was right."

"He hasn't…? He didn't…?" Botan said faintly. "But… But he told me… He told me that they had… Why would be lie about that?

"I dunno," Yusuke replied with a shrug. "But I do know that Hiei isn't exactly the type of guy who would ever tell you how he really feels."

"What do you mean?"

"It was something Kurama once told me. One time I joked with Hiei that he might be able to beat me in a fight, and he didn't say anything back. Kurama said that was Hiei's way of showing that he liked me. I guess if he'd hated me, he would have told me to stop joking, because it was a fact that he could beat me in a fight."

"I'm still confused."

"Kurama said that with Hiei, to really understand what he's thinking and how he's feeling, you have to listen to what he's not saying rather than what he does say. I don't really understand that, but usually Kurama's there to explain it to me every time Hiei does it."

Botan looked down at her tea.

"So just because he hasn't said he really likes you, doesn't mean that he doesn't," Yusuke added. "Actually, if he hasn't said he really likes you, it probably means that he does really like you."

"I understand what Kurama said, and it makes sense," she said quietly, dragging her finger around the rim of her teacup as she spoke. "I can think of occasions where Hiei has stayed unusually silent, and at the time I thought it might be because if he did speak, he would have to lie or else reveal emotions he was too tough to admit to feeling."

"Well, there you go!"

Botan looked up at Yusuke, her finger poised over her teacup.

"What?" he asked. "Obviously you like him, and he likes you, so isn't this the part where you run off into the sunset with him?"

Botan began choking on nothing.

"Don't tell me you're not even gonna try to date him after all this?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm surprised you're accepting this," she said once she had calmed down. "I thought you'd be furious."

"I lied to you too Botan," he said. "If you really were still in love with me and I led you on, that would make me an asshole, and that's just as bad as you pretending to be my girlfriend and then sneaking around with Hiei behind my back. We were both wrong, so let's just forget it, go back to being friends, and you can get back to… Doing Hiei…"

Yusuke smiled and shook his head.

"Honestly, I still don't really understand it," he admitted. "I don't get why you would want to be with Hiei. Was he really that good in bed?"

Botan's eyes grew large and her face paled, but Yusuke simply grinned back at her.

"It's not funny, Yusuke," she said.

"It's been a bit too unfunny lately, so humour me and pretend that it is," he replied. "Does he have any weird, kinky fetishes?"

"Yusuke…"

"I'm curious."

"He's very attractive."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. He… He has such a strong, powerful body. And everything about him physically is flawless."

"Even his penis?"

"Especially his penis."

"Okay… Maybe we should stop right there, and–"

"It's magnificent. It's a lovely colour, and it's the perfect length and thickness, and it has this throbbing vein that stands up in just the right place to–"

"Holy shit Botan, stop already! TMI!"

"TMI? What does that mean?"

"It means… Time… Time to… Time to muffle it!"

"…That doesn't sound right…"

"Listening to you talking about Hiei's dick definitely doesn't sound right!"

"It's not the only thing I like about him."

"Good for you. Now, why don't I stay here and laugh at Kuwabara's bald head, and you go back to Hiei and his perfect dick, and we can all live happily ever after, right?"

Botan shook her head.

"He doesn't want me," she said.

**

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"You called for me, Sir?"

Koenma pulled a face at Botan as she entered his office.

"Would it kill you to smile, Botan?" he snapped. "You look about as cheerful as that miserable ogre!"

"Sorry Sir," she replied.

"You've been miserable for days, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, Sir," she lied.

"Did Hiei dump you?"

"What?"

"You were chipper enough when you were slipping off for a sly romp with him every day, but lately you've been miserable, and you've been more attentive to your duties, so it seems like Hiei dumped you."

"Sir, that's incredibly rude. You have absolutely no proof that I was with Hiei all those times I was late for work."

Koenma's face fell.

"Botan, were you with Hiei all those times you were late for work?" he asked flatly.

She gasped.

"Maybe just a little bit!" she replied.

Koenma rolled his eyes.

"Never mind," he said. "I have a message for you. Kuwabara asked if you would visit him as soon as you can. I told him you would be free about now, and he is expecting you, so you should probably go and see him right now."

"But Sir, I just finished the early shift, and I didn't get much sleep last night because some of the ogres are still making cat noises at my bedroom door, and–"

"Right now, Botan!"

"Alright, fine!"

Botan turned and marched from Koenma's office, ignoring anyone who called out a greeting to her as she headed for the exit. If Kuwabara was calling for her it was probably something trivial, like the fact that he was being haunted by a persistent ghost and he wanted her to guide the lost soul onwards to spirit world, and she was not really in the mood for such nonsense. During the last few days she had not seen as much of Yusuke as she usually did and she had not seen or heard from Hiei at all – though she assumed that he had been busy patching things up with Mukuro, and, after their last meeting, she doubted she would ever see him again. As she took to the air outside the temple, she tried to tell herself that visiting Kuwabara might not be so bad, because maybe she could convince him to let her sleep in his spare bedroom for a few hours, where she would at least get some peace.

And the thought of sleep kept her going until she reached her destination. She landed on the garden path, banished her oar and walked up to the front door before hesitating there as she had a small moment of indecision. She began to think that she ought to have milked her journey there as an excuse to have some time alone and in peace rather than race all the way there, and she took a step back, her eyes scanning over the windows of the house to check for anyone watching her: if she had not been seen, she thought, perhaps she could sneak away again and steal a half hour or so to herself.

"Botan!"

Botan yelped in alarm and clutched a hand to her chest as the front door of the house was whipped open and Kuwabara appeared before her.

"Lord Koenma told me you were looking for me?" she responded once she had recovered from her initial shock.

"Uh, yeah," he replied, stepping back into the house. "Come in."

Botan obediently followed him inside, waiting until he had closed the door behind her before asking why she was there.

"Um, it's easier if I just show you," he answered.

Botan forced a tight smile and continued to follow him through the house, though on the inside she was groaning. If he had to show her what it was, then obviously it was a ghost, and she was far too grumpy to be bothered negotiating with a stubborn lost soul. She blamed lack of sleep for her foul mood, though she was not really sure that was the case, as she had been sleeping better lately – but there seemed to be no other logical reason for her tension and irritability, so she continued to blame it on her sleeping habits.

"I don't see anything," she said when Kuwabara stopped in the back garden.

"There's Yukina," he said, pointing at Yukina, who was apparently weeding one corner of the garden.

Botan glared at Kuwabara angrily.

"You brought me here to show me Yukina working in the garden?" she asked.

He shook his head, but something about the look on his face left her wary of his true intentions. Before she could question him further however, he jogged across the garden to Yukina, and pulled her to her feet. She started to complain and point at what she had been doing before he interrupted her, but Kuwabara mercilessly hustled her away from her work, forcing her past Botan and back towards the house. Botan turned to watch them with a curious frown as they passed her, but Kuwabara merely grinned back at her.

"We've run out of tea," he said. "We just have to go the shop to get some more. Wait here, we'll be right back."

"No we haven't, Kazuma," Yukina complained as they disappeared into the house. "I have five different kinds in the kitchen. I just bought a new box of green tea this morning. What are you talking about?"

Yukina may have said more and Kuwabara may have had an answer for her, but by then, they were so far through the house that Botan could no longer even hear them moving. She sighed in resignation, deciding that being alone in the garden on a sunny day was pleasant enough, and took herself over to a low bench to sit down and relax.

Though she did wonder why both Yukina and Kuwabara needed to go the shop just to buy some tea – especially when, according to Yukina, they already had a plentiful supply available.

**

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"Leave it on please."

"I don't like it."

"It's the law."

"I don't care about human laws."

"I do, so just leave it on please."

Hiei growled angrily, but clicked the seatbelt back into place and tried to ignore how restrictive it felt against his chest.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked, hoping to distract himself from the awkwardness of being squashed into a tiny car, made to wear a seatbelt and forced to travel at what was merely jogging speed by his standards.

"Somewhere special," Kurama replied.

"Does this have anything to do with the alarm that went off on that communication device you have right before you literally pushed me into this contraption and made me tie myself down to this seat?" Hiei asked.

"Perhaps."

"Yes or no?"

"Alright then yes."

Hiei nodded smugly, smirking to himself at his victory and turning to look out the window.

"Wait, that still doesn't explain anything," he said suddenly, his smirk fading. "What was that beeping sound and why are we responding to it?"

"I'm taking you somewhere special," Kurama replied, as cryptically as ever.

"Tell me why and where, or I will tear off this belt, punch a hole in the window and jump out of this stupid machine," Hiei warned him.

"Or you could just release the seatbelt, open the door at your side and jump out that way," Kurama casually replied. "Far quicker and less messy for all involved. If you jump out the front, you'll either roll over the roof and hit the road behind me, or else you'll fall to the road in front of me and I'll run you over."

"This vehicle isn't capable of harming me."

"I might make a dirty tyre-track mark on your clothes."

"Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Not at all. Cars are the conventional way for humans to travel in this realm though Hiei, and in order to blend in as a human, learning to drive one has been a necessity for me."

"It's undignified and – wait, stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop trying to change the subject and distract me with pointless human world babble! Where are you taking me and why?"

"It's a lovely day for a drive actually."

"I don't care about that."

"We're nearly there anyway."

"Nearly where?"

"Kuwabara's house."

Hiei stiffened.

"Why would I want to go there?" he asked.

Kurama did not answer him, but Hiei forgot he had even asked the question when he suddenly caught sight of Yukina and Kuwabara standing at the side of the road, Kuwabara looking guilty about something and Yukina looking completely confused.

"Hey!" Hiei said, turning in his seat to look back as they passed them. "Yukina and the oaf are back there!"

"I wonder why," Kurama said, without slowing down. "Well, here we are anyway, why don't you wait at the house, and I'll go back and check that everything is alright. They did look a little lost."

"Lost?" Hiei echoed. "How could they possibly be lost this close to their own house – wait, it is Kuwabara, so probably…"

Hiei gladly pulled off his seatbelt as Kurama drew to a halt outside of Kuwabara and Yukina's house and opened the car door.

"Wait here, I'll bring them back with me," Kurama said to him.

Hiei made a grunt of agreement and climbed out of the car. He was halfway up the garden path before he realised how strange the whole situation was, but as he turned to go back and tell Kurama as much, he saw Kurama's car disappearing around a corner. Deciding that matters could not really get any weirder or any more unpleasant than they already were, Hiei pushed open the front door, the fact that it was not locked in any way only adding to the creeping feeling of apprehension he felt. He wandered around a few empty rooms before noticing that the back door of the house was actually hanging wide open – and, although he knew very little about humans and their culture, he knew enough to know that it was not normal for anyone in the living world to leave a door open like that if they had left their property unattended.

Something bizarre was definitely afoot.

He walked out into the garden and almost tripped over his own feet as he spotted something at one side of the lawn.

"You!" he blurted out involuntarily.

"Hiei? But… What are you doing here?"

Hiei slowly looked about himself, taking note of the haphazardly discarded gardening gloves by one corner of the garden and the increasingly confused and flustered look on the ferry girl's face.

"We've been set up," he concluded.

"What?" she asked, rising to her feet.

"Or you were in on it too," he said, rounding on her with an accusatory glare.

"In on what?"

She looked suitably outraged to be innocent, and what had just happened did seem to be more the handiwork of someone as sneaky as Kurama and someone as stupid and supposedly well-meaning as Kuwabara.

"We've been duped," he explained. "Kurama took me here. He didn't tell me why."

"Well Kuwabara called me here from spirit world," she replied.

"Did he tell you why?" Hiei asked. "Did he bother to trick you with a pathetic cover story or was he just vague and evasive?"

"Actually, he didn't tell me why he needed me here. He was acting strangely when I got here, and he made a poor excuse about needing to buy tea and then left, taking Yukina with him."

"Kurama masterminded this little ruse. He seems to be under the impression that I've been pining for you – which of course I haven't."

Botan frowned slightly and Hiei tensed.

"I haven't!" he insisted.

"I'm not denying that," she said dismissively. "But I'm not so sure that Kurama is to blame for this. I think this was probably Kuwabara's idea. He was giving me a hard time about being with you before when we were still… Before we ended our little… Arrangement…"

"Well this was a stupid idea, so maybe it is Kuwabara's fault."

"So… Kurama knows that we were…?"

"I don't think he told Yusuke, if that's what you're building to. I'm not so sure about Kuwabara though. How did he find out?"

"I don't know, I never told him. He seemed to just figure it out after we visited here together that one time. He didn't tell anyone, he was too afraid. He wanted me to tell Yusuke myself."

"Does Yukina know?"

"No. At least, I don't think so… Why, are you ashamed of what she might think?"

Botan narrowed her eyes at him, almost daring him to agree with her.

"That boat sailed a long time ago, woman," he flatly replied.

"Oh I see," she said haughtily. "Well I'm just as ashamed of you as you are of me! What about what you did to me in spirit world?"

"Maybe you should just learn to keep your voice down," he grumbled.

"Well maybe you should learn some self control."

"Well maybe you should learn some… Maybe we should both just stop this."

"I thought we already did stop it."

"No, I mean we should stop pretending."

"Yes, I know, we've stopped pretending that we're other people. I've stopped pretending that you're Yusuke, and you've stopped pretending that I'm a decent substitute for Mukuro."

"Do you really think that's what I meant?"

Botan's eyes widened and her face paled.

"I-I don't understand," she said softly.

"We've done a lot of pretending and lying and hiding the truth," Hiei replied. "And I think we're past that now. There's no longer any point to being so deceitful. We stopped pretending we were with anyone else but each other a long time ago."

"You read my mind!" she snapped defensively.

"I didn't need to," he replied, shaking his head. "You stopped calling out Yusuke's name after the first few times. There were a few times where you just moaned and meowed, and then you started calling out my name. I don't need a jagan eye to know what that means."

Botan clenched and unclenched her fists and her mouth twitched a few times as though she was about to start an argument about something but changed her mind before the words left her mouth.

"Sex was better with you than it was with Yusuke," she eventually spat out. "So much so, I couldn't even make myself have sex with Yusuke. Ever. There, is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Not exactly," Hiei replied. "I'd rather you just stopped pretending."

"Stop pretending what? I don't understand!"

"Stop pretending that neither of us really wants this."

"Well I… You're the one who didn't want it! You're the one who made it out like you were doing it out of pity for me, like it was a chore for you."

"And you're the one who pretended to object and then pretended you were only continuing with it because you were imagining you were with someone else."

Botan screwed up her face, clearly out of frustration because she could not think of a witty retort, and since she did stay silent, Hiei decided to bring the conversation back to something she had said earlier, perhaps by mistake.

"You never had sex with Yusuke?" he asked.

"Well you never had sex with Mukuro either!" she immediately replied.

Hiei started to ask her why she thought that, but then decided against it. It was, after all, the truth.

"I'm glad you never had sex with Yusuke," he said instead.

She blushed slightly and a hint of a smile twitched across her lips.

"Why?" she asked. "Because it means I've been exclusive to you and only you?"

"No, because it means you're not a rampant nymphomaniac, copulating with two different lovers simultaneously and in the most inappropriate of places."

"Hiei! Most of the places we had sex were reasonably discreet!"

Hiei gave Botan a withering look, and by the brief hint of awkwardness in her eyes he saw that she realised herself how ridiculous she had sounded.

"So…?" she said, arching her eyebrows expectantly.

"So what?" he asked.

"So what happens now? Where do we go from here?" she asked.

"You've changed your mind about stopping?"

"Well, I realise now that I don't want to be with Yusuke, and we talked, and he's forgiven me, and we've agreed that we're just friends…"

"It wasn't quite that amicable for me making peace with Mukuro, but she is coming to terms with my behaviour, and we did agree that we shouldn't ever be lovers."

"So… Maybe we could… Meet up still sometimes and…?"

"That's what you want? You want to keep sneaking around like we did before?"

"…It was fun…"

"Maybe for you, but it's not what I want."

"Oh…"

Botan lowered her head, hiding her face from Hiei's line of sight. He sighed in mild frustration, unsure which annoyed him more: the fact that she had apparently not understood his last remark or the fact that she did not appear to feel the same way as he did.

"Commit to me and be my lover, or I won't ever lay down with you again," he said sternly.

Her head snapped up and she looked surprised.

"You heard me," he said. "Commit to me, or I'll never see you naked again."

Botan tilted her head to one side.

"Did you mean to say that?" she asked in a low voice. "Didn't you mean to say "you'll never see me naked again"?"

"No, idiot," Hiei growled. "We both know that we both get more pleasure out of me looking at you naked."

"That doesn't… Well, I… Hm…"

"Sneaking around is dishonourable and it's not becoming of either of us. Commit to me, or I won't ever see you again."

Botan lowered her head again, but not so much so that Hiei could not see her smiling.

"I guess maybe Kurama and Kuwabara were in on this together," she said. "Because now I think Kurama was right all along: love is lovelier the second time around."

Hiei growled.

"That's the last time you get the use the word "lovelier" to describe anything about me or us," he warned.

"Okay," she agreed, lifting her head to look him in the eye.

"No more pretending?" he asked.

"No more pretending," she agreed.

"No more sneaking around and then washing your hands clean of responsibility when someone asks what you were doing?"

Botan smile widened, and took on an almost insolent quality.

"I prefer it when you use your dirty hands on me anyway," she said.

She was blushing slightly and apparently still just a little too innocent to pull off such a joke, but Hiei appreciated her trying anyway.

"Dirty hands it is then," he agreed.

"Is this the part where you pull me into a sweeping embrace and kiss me passionately?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what – ah!"

Botan screamed out in surprise and protest, but Hiei ignored her complaints, hoisting her over his shoulder and darting across the garden. Besides, he knew that she would probably never entirely stop protesting and acting indignant about what they did together, and apparently that, for her, was part of the enjoyment of it. And, although it irked him, he secretly quite enjoyed overpowering her feigned innocence anyway – though he would never tell her that.

Hiei was not so sure that he would ever agree that love was "lovelier" the second time around, but he had to admit – at least to himself – that being with Botan certainly tasted sweeter after knowing the bitterness of disappointment and the realisation of having fallen in the wrong direction the first time around.

**THE END**

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**A/N:** I hate endings, they're always protracted or too abrupt. This was (obviously) the latter.

Thanks for reading and being patient with sporadic updates.

Please review.


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